Darlings!
How exciting! You are graduating with your M.Div. or your D.Min, or your Ph.D in religion. Or perhaps you are on the faculty of one of our nation’s seminaries and shining with slightly forced pride as you attend your umpteenth Commencement and try not to check your watch every five minutes.
PeaceBang has had a first-hand report of Hideous Shoes from a recent seminary graduation, and she is here to remind you that your choice in footwear needs to honor the formality of the occasion, and not the graduate’s desire for comfort, quirky self-expression, or social plans for later in the day. If you are going directly from commencement exercises to a picnic, change into the flip-flops. If you are heading right out of the parking lot to a local tavern to dance the hoochie-coochie and wave your diploma over your head while you party the night away, change into your sparkly, strappy sandals after you have walked the stage to receive it.
Gentlemen, congratulations, and I say this with love: shine your damn shoes. If you’re not wearing a shoe that requires shining, go change. There should be no visible toes involved in your graduation day.
Professors and choristers, that also means you. A religion professor has been tattling and she tells me that some of you are disgracing the proceedings in inappropriate footwear. She writes, “I can’t even describe the clogs and slides and hiking sandals under the graduation robes. Including faculty and clergy colleagues.” LORD have mercy, now. Clogs? Hiking sandals? PeaceBang cannot “tsk” hard enough.
Congratulations, again, dearies! Now, call your roommate and have him bring you an appropriate pair of shoes. Those Tevas need to GO.
May I recommend an urgent re-reading of “Gaudy Night” in which Dorothy Sayers describes her main character’s careful choice of clothing which complements her academic gown? Ah, so proper.
But now I have this image of skeevy, hairy toes poking out of Tevas, and I can see one of my professors in my mind’s eye. I thought I had blocked that out forever. Sigh.
I’m so sorry to trigger old traumas. Bless.
This seems like the appropriate time to share this link from my alma mater with you. We have a fun and meaningful tradition for graduation shoes. And although the picture shows red chucks, most of us took the opportunity to find some really classy, ‘channel the power of the HS’ red pumps.
http://garrettseminary.blogspot.com/2012/05/legend-of-red-shoes.html
Oh, my yes…the quirky pairings of academic regalia and odd shoes one sees on graduates and faculty alike…it is enough to make you shudder. Loved the link to Garrett– I myself have worn red power shoes every Pentecost since I’ve been in ministry…
Thank you, Green Gables, for that wonderful link!
My BFF is being ordained in the UMC, and I get to be on the platform with her even though I’m UCC. I really, really want to wear some classic but snazzy red pumps under my robe, but I was debating the appropriateness. However, she’s a Garrett grad, so now I’m thinking it’s not just appropriate, it’s a witness. Thanks!
Love the Garrett story says the ‘Piskie priest who sometimes wears red patent flats with her red trimmed black cassock because the Pope wears those hideous red Prada slippers. Mine are better.