Have Two of Your Go-To’s (If You Can)

So I’m at our clergy retreat in a pair of black cotton Old Navy pants and crazy-ugly shoes that I love and a leopard print sweater which I am totally not going to wear to our Town Meeting, of course, for which I am going to give the Invocation. I get home in what I think is plenty of time to change clothes but you know how that goes. The dog decides to be The Recalcitrant Pooper and he needs a good long walk in the woods, and then I’m standing at the kitchen counter wolfing down some chicken with, like four minutes to change.

I run upstairs. All I know is that I don’t want to wear a clergy collar because I feel uncomfortable enough as it is bringing religion into a matter of state. But this Invocation is a vestige from our colonial roots (everyone actually rises for the invocation, then we pledge allegiance to the flag) and I am the minister of the oldest church in town. I need to represent appropriately. Obviously it’s time to break out the black suit. I don’t even have time to change out of my black cotton pants but they’re very clean and unwrinkled and a good cut and length, but I realize in a panic that my best black blazer is at the dry cleaners. To be more accurate, my good black blazer is in the front seat of the car in a little dog and cat-hair covered ball waiting to be dropped off at the dry cleaner.

The seconds are ticking by as I stand in my closet in a moment of wide-eyed dismay. Then my eye falls on a hanger covered with a plastic bag from the dry cleaners…oh frabjus day, kalooh kalay! I remember that I have TWO basic black blazers, and one of them is just home from the cleaners! I yank the plastic off the jacket in a mad rush, put it on, pick a lime-green and black pattern silk scarf off a hanger, throw it around my neck and secure it with one of the silver rings I’m wearing, quickly shuck my crazy shoes for a pair of sage green Born slingback clogs, and twist my hair up. I’m already wearing nice make-up and pretty silver earrings, and am carrying a beautiful black bag, so I’m ready to roll.

The moral of the story is: you’re a minister. Make sure you are ready at all times to preside at formal events and do NOT take chances that add stress and panic to your schedule. Consider keeping your most formal “officiant” clothing pressed, clean and ready part of your self-care, and have two of everything you need if at all possible so that you’re never left without appropriate options.

Then go minister well to the people.

P.S. I don’t attend Town Meeting. I think it wise to stay out of town politics, and I feel that the clergy’s role in town matters is akin to that of a Chief of Police or Fire Chief. I am there to serve and protect in the spiritual sense, not to take sides in votes. As a parsonage dweller I am a resident of the town but not a property owner, and neither I nor my congregation pay taxes on our property. I also choose not to observe the proceedings, as I have a very bad poker face.