Getting a Historical Perspective On Young Ministers

The kerfuffle last week about a young pastor who dissed me on her clergy fashion blog is over, but this remains to be said: there is nothing new under the sun about young ministers serving America’s congregations. In fact, the real story about American clergy and age in this country is the influx of second and third-career seminarians entering the ministry in middle age or later.

Clergymen throughout this nation’s European history have always taken their first parish in their twenties (and yes, it was men originally, as we all know). They went from secondary education to seminary and graduated, and were ordained, when they were barely growing their first whiskers. Even though adulthood commenced much earlier in previous centuries than it does today (in fact, DOES it commence today? Discuss!), contrary to popular belief, Protestant clergy of former eras were not immediately granted prestige and respect upon ordination. They were challenged by elders, scolded by critics, talked-back-at during lengthy sermon disputations (which were a feature of Puritan congregation life and not, as some believe, an invention of the 20th century era of post-modernist moral relativity). What ministers said, wore and did were always under scrutiny by their communities, and plenty of criticisms related to the youth and callowness of the clergy.

This current generation of young ‘uns could spare themselves a lot of suffering about if they tried not to react with hyper-sensitivity to remarks about their age and youthful appearance, thereby playing right into their elders’ accusations of immaturity. There is one very easy way to transcend that baby face: be a mature, trustworthy, faithful, humble and hard-working pastor and people will quickly respect and love you. It is entirely counter-productive to rail against perceived or real age discrimination when the only way to overcome it is to prove that you are a mature person who can minister to all generations.

Because you know what, kids? It never ends. Yesterday I was asked to be part of a leadership team because they needed some “younger” people represented. At 46 years old, I am hardly young! Or even “younger!” But the church is the one institution where we still respect the elders — or should — whereas in most organizations anyone over the age of 70 is kicked to the curb and rendered irrelevant. I started seminary in my 20’s, too, and now solidly into middle age, I am glad that I didn’t waste a lot of time freaking out when people laughed at my generational reference points in sermons or condescended to me because I was their granddaughter’s age. I’m not saying it didn’t bother me, but it’s important to be able to discern whether someone is actively undermining your ministry or just cracking the occasional joke at your expense.

Ministry is all about absorbing projections. If you’re not being petted on the head as someone’s granddaughter figure (totally inappropriate, I agree! And you have to artfully address that as soon as you can with the offender), you’re being irrationally despised by someone else because you remind them of their mother, father or uncle. As you move through the stages of life, you’ll always be the target for people who know, even unconsciously, that you are a safe person to beam their beams of disapproval at, because that’s really what they live for. The sad truth is that many of these types aren’t in church to receive the gospel in a way that will change them. They aren’t listening to the message you preach, they’re listening FOR you to say something that they can get angry about. At first, this power struggle will feel like it’s about your age and inexperience. But as you get older, dearies, you will realize that it’s about human misery and people’s inability to break out of their unhappy emotional habits. It’s okay. There’s nothing you can do about it. Minister to the health of the congregation, pray for those who are spiritually starved and will receive no nourishment from your hand, and remember that God sets before us a banquet even in the presence of our enemies.

It’s also really important that we keep in mind that some folks just aren’t that socially adept! They’re not funny, and they’d like to be. They’re not good at connecting with others, and they want to be. They don’t know you, and they wish they did. Your very existence is kind of weird and exotic to them, and they’re not quite sure how to behave with you. Don’t sweat it. We’re not all social geniuses either, and it’s hard to try to put others at ease when we feel shy or awkward ourselves. Sometimes an off-putting comment is simply someone’s best attempt to bond with you. If you can manage some compassion for their strange ways, do try.

I think, finally, one has to make the determination: is this an occasion of real age discrimination, a faux pas by someone with less-than-excellent social skills, or a mountain that you may be making out of a molehill because you’re feeling vulnerable or insecure?

Keep this close to your hearts, young pastors: youth is not a liability unless you decide to believe that it is. On the other hand, it is not a special blessing, either. All ages and phases of chronological life and life in ministry have their blessings and their challenges. And people who want to pick at you will always find some way to do it. Keep your eye on the prize.