Hipster Ministers

Okay, gang. Let’s talk a little bit about what happens when we steer so far away from frump that we veer off the road and into the bushes.

PeaceBang wants you to look like your cool, creative, contemporary, hip self. She really does. She wants you to have fun with facial hair (just keep it GROOMED and not scraggly), funky eyeglasses and awesome outfits. She wants you to move out of the 1980’s and 90’s and look like you’re connected to 2012. She swears on a stack of Bibles (all of different translations, of course) that she does.

But let’s not get too cute with it.

It has been reported to me that a clergy person was seen wearing a Dr. Who scarf with a collar. I don’t follow “Dr. Who” but I think it’s an extremely popular television show. This is what a Dr. Who scarf looks like:

When I see this, it just looks like an eccentric, fairly fun scarf to me and something that I wouldn’t blink to see my minister wear on a cold day with an overcoat. However, worn as an ironic pop culture reference with a clergy collar it just looks … pretentious. And also weird and ugly. Clerical collars do not invite whimsical outerwear, so please don’t pair them. Save your hipster items for when you’re wearing street clothes.

Similarly disturbing is the trend of adults wearing baby hats with ears. This is a baby:

This baby looks adorable in a little knit hat with puppy ears.

This is a hipster:

I personally find it repellent when grown women intentionally infantilize themselves in this way. If they’re over 24 years old, I can’t help but visibly recoil when I see something like this. There is a whole “hip mama” contingent in America right now who love this sort of thing, as well as big flowery rain boots worn with leggings and baby doll dresses and other outfits that scream “I’m trying to stay young and relevant!” I don’t bother commenting any more, as when I do I am accused of being a buzz-stomping biddy.

I don’t like clothing that screams, “I’m trying to stay young and relevant!” I think it’s distracting and also sad. There are so many ways that women are undercutting their own power and beauty right now by wearing clothes that are just too youthful for them. And there are so many other ways to look hip and hot that don’t involve looking like you raided a 7th grader’s closet. I’m not going to have this fight in the broader culture but I am most certainly going to keep fighting the good fight within the religious leaders’ community.

This goes for guys, too. Skinny jeans and motorcycle boots? Sure. Worn with a tight plaid rockabilly shirt? Too much for ministry. It looks like a costume to a generation that doesn’t understand your sartorial reference point. Balance your look. Goth touches, sure. Head-to-toe Goth? You’ve just rendered yourself unapproachable to at least two generations of parishioners. Contrary to what I often hear from defensive pigeons, that is your problem, not theirs.

Again, when you are in clericals, keep your look classic. Anything else looks like your ego is fighting with your vocation and your ego is winning. It’s an uncomfortable sensation for those of us interacting with you, so please do some soul-searching and get over the need to be “read” as a Fascinating Individual over-against the responsibility to project an image of “clergy,” which carries with it enough complex connotations in the public eye.

And remember: PeaceBang’s spies are everywhere!

THIS JUST IN!!!

Soon after I posted this, the Rev. Jude Geiger sent me a message saying that he was laughing our loud because I had inadvertently described an actual outfit that he wears to a T. Being an awesomely cool, good sport, he offered to submit a photo of his hip self in his hipster outfit. Jude’s ministry setting is in the Mecca for hipster, Brooklyn, NY. He’s the one in the middle with the facial hair. Apparently the motorcycle boots are there, just out of sight.

Cute, no? Absolutely. But although Jude is a hip dude, he is also a religious leader who knows that this is not an outfit to wear to the office or on a hospital visit.

In the spirit of confession, I join Jude in the “I Am So Busted” corner:

PB in 2006