Church in the morning means no partying late tonight, amirite?
I have been conducting an experiment and its results will SHOCK and AMAZE you! It turns out that if I go to bed past midnight I am not at optimum energy the next day even if I got plenty of sleep. One of you once shared the maxim, “Every hour to bed before midnight is worth two hours,” and I believe it. I am an incurable night owl who regularly stays up ’til 1 or 2AM, but that has really got to stop. I have been trying for an 11:30 PM bedtime and on the days that I achieve it, I feel tons peppier the next day.
Other self-care insights that I am taking with me into 2012 are these:
1. Keep it simple. I don’t need any more classes, books or programs around nutrition, exercise and weight loss. What I need is to just eat wisely and honestly and move every day.
2. Commitments to self-care never work when I make them in a punitive spirit or from fear. They only work when I make them in a spirit of compassion and self-understanding.
3. Being emotionally hurt does not need to lead me to cut off from my own physical well-being. Even though it’s harder to face emotional pain than to ignore it and distract myself with work and (mostly sedentary) favorite activities (like eating!), the strain this puts on my whole being is just as bad as the emotional pain I was trying to avoid in the first place! Better to feel the pain and live with it honestly. Peace, happiness and balance come with honesty, not with avoidance.
4. Time with friends and loved ones is not something that I do when and if there’s some time left over after everything else gets done. It is essential to my sanity and is my top priority. I am depression-free since I realized this and started putting love and relationships first in my life, and work second.
5. One of the hardest things to do is to stop and accept sincere praise. I mean, really let it soak into my body and soul and feel what it means to my life. One goal for 2012 is to try to spend as much time processing praise as I do on worrying about- and reacting to –criticism.
6. I will feel no more guilt about taking as much vacation and reading time as my Letter of Agreement with my church provides. They’re generous with me, why am I not as generous with myself? I habitually schedule myself serious ministry obligations during my longer vacations and I am going to examine that tendency. On one hand, I feel energized and inspired by such commitments and I don’t do well with long vacations. On the other hand, that means that I really need to take my day off every week, and a couple or few days off here and there where I can manage to. This fall was ridiculous. I didn’t have a regular day off between late August and … well, now. This past week, our church office has been closed and I have been sleeping, cleaning, resting, thinking, doodling, praying, napping, breathing and coming home to myself.
NONE OF US can have a deep spiritual life and care for a congregation if we do not have long periods for rest and reflection. By “long period,” I mean more than one afternoon or an hour in the car on the way to the next appointment. Congregations need to know this, and it is your responsibility to let yours know, pigeons. Help them understand that they, too, need seasons for rest and quiet so they can come home to themselves, body mind and soul. Set a good example.
7. I allow myself to read whatever strange variety of things appeal to me. The Holy Spirit speaks to us through many genres. Embrace variety. My preaching and my mind are more interesting when I do. Yours will be, too.
8. I start each day with a smoothie. Because I don’t have to think about it, because it’s nutritious, and because it has become a habit.
9. I will continue to bring my ministry beyond the brick-and-mortar church and encourage other to do the same. Not as a crusade, but as a blessing. Because it’s what God wants. Because evangelism can simply be showing up for people who aren’t members or pledgers of the church, but who need ministry. And because this is life-giving and actually fun. I see too many ministries whither and die because the pastor is obsessed with minutae and running around trying to please every fussy soul in the parish. We are leaders, children. Don’t forget it. When the leader loses perspective and allows those with myopic vision to set the institutional agenda of the church, the spirit of ministry is suffocated.
I have always believed this, but my consulting work with ministers and congregations convinces me that this is the #1 problem among us. You’ve got to be strong, kittens. You’ve got to see things more broadly; that’s your responsibility. I list this as one of my self-care items because I experience great joy and energy in encouraging YOU to know it and live it.
10. Cuddle with a dog or a cat every day. Boyfriends come and boyfriends go, and husbands, wives and significant others can be prickly, tense or conditional in their love. Four-legged friends are 100% tenderness and have no fight with you, ever (well, nothing of much consequence, anyway). That’s some serious devotion and beauty in exchange for kibble and caregiving. It’s one of the best medicines I know for whatever ails you. Consider adopting a furry companion in 2012. They’re not at all convenient: they’re just absolutely precious, that’s all.
Happy New Year, Beautiful Ministers!!! kiss of peace, PB
Here are Woody Guthrie’s New Year’s Resolutions from 1942. Thanks to dear colleague Rev. Meg Riley for the inspiration! Click to enlarge, and note #9!!
Amen and amen. My new year’s resolutions for 2012 are to dance more and to have more parties. And I love “Keep hoping machine running.”
My only addition to this excellent list is to read it again at the beginning of each month; in fact I just noted it in my shiny new paper calendar (can’t make the move to electronic). Best wishes all for exquisite self-care throughout the year.
Smoothie is SUCH a great way to start your day! It’s how we begin ours too. I have a post coming out in a couple of days on how everyone can take up this practice.
Glad you are starting out 2012 by taking good care of yourself.
As non-clergy I think I’m going to resolve to remind our future new pastor about 6, when he shows signs of forgetting. And also remind other people in the congregation.
I love your list, PB, especially number 5! Bishop Tom Shaw here in MA has famously said that our tendency to dwell on criticism and to dismiss praise is a particularly pernicious tool of Evil — an “inroad of Satan” into our interior lives. Amen. A Peace-ful and healthy New Year to you, Peace Bang!
I needed to read this. Thank you!
Great post – thanks for this! My husband and I were just talking about getting healthier for this year (and the next and the next… making it a life long habit is key). He mentioned joining a “weight loss program” we’ve both had previous success on. It might work but my thoughts are more along the lines of yours… I know what I need to do… so I’ve committed to eating better, moving more, and not beating myself up when I slip up.
I think I’ll make a note to re-read this post again in about 6 weeks when the new year isn’t so “new”. I’ll also mark it in my paper planner 🙂