My dearest dearies,
I am just freshly home from our marvelous event at Louisville Seminary. The cat is howling at me and I am checking e-mail with bleary eyes. Bleary but so happy!
It was absolutely inspiring to be among such wonderful, funny, impressive pigeons for the past two days. About sixty of us — United Methodist, Presbyterian, United Church of Christ and PCUSA lay leaders and Louisville Seminary staff gathered on Monday night and spent that evening plus all of Tuesday together. We talked about image, our various ministry settings, the “besetting sins” of the generations (Boomer Frumpiness and Millennial Cluelessness and Sartorial Oversharing, with Gen Xers erring on one of those sides of the spectrum) and theology. We talked about the historic church’s inability to deal with eros, while having a fairly decent sense of caritas and philios, and great clarity on agape love.
I talked and you tweeted. We laughed a LOT. We got very quiet and sombre when I spoke about the ancestral memory of physical trauma and torture acted out on women’s bodies during the Northern European witch craze of the medieval era, and the same ancestral trauma that African-Americans bear for the physical and soul annihilation of slavery — both genocidal periods of history supported by and even organized by the institutional Church. No wonder we have a troubled relationship with the body in ministry.
We considered my theory that the American mainline Protestant church is still holding onto a 19th century ministerial archetype, and that if we are to attract the unchurched to religious life in community we have to create new, more appealing, relatable, and inspiring archetypes for people to conjure when they hear the word “clergy.” You enthusiastically agreed. Looking around the room I was proud to be in your company: you were vibrant, brilliant, articulate, savvy, and loving. You gave me hope.
I loved your “amens” when I shared my conviction that the g/l/b/t community has borne the brunt of the Church’s sexual repression and body shame. We talked about the fact that the parish minister’s body is regarded in some ways as “public property,” and how to accept that fact while also maintaining one’s privacy and establishing boundaries. We shared a lot of anecdotes about questions, comments and inappropriate touch we have endured as clergy. We talked about clergy sexual misconduct as an acting out of the church’s silence about the body, dysfunctional attitudes about sexuality and the repression and irresponsible use oferos energy, and we learned why short skirts are generally not a good idea for most ministry settings (hint: when we try on clothes we generally don’t see ourselves sitting down in them).
You laughed uproariously when I said that while I love Paul, I take his teachings on women in ministry with a grain of salt since I am not a Paulite but a Christian. We did a LOT of “amen”ing and “preach it!” You told me your stories, and we did some crying together.
I did a mini-consult with several of you right there in front of the group and you ooh’d and ahhh’d just like the audience on “Oprah” when I showed you how clothes can create shape, how make-up can take 10 years off your face and make you look more alive and, as one of you observed, “she looks more happy.” You beheld your new faces in the mirror and did double-takes. “Wow,” you said. You liked what you saw, and so did we. As Elaine tweeted, it was like the feeding of the 5,000 when you opened your bags and shared lipsticks, a blush brush, a wide belt, and hair clips. Even the guys enjoyed themselves and David Henry gave me a FANTASTIC joke that I can use in church.
I will post photos as I get them, so please do send them in. I have more to say about the insights I gained from this time together but that’s a start.
I would love and appreciate it very much if those of you who were there would post a comment about what it meant to you. Think of this as a sort of guest book.
It was Leah Ellison Bradley’s idea to get us all together, and we bow to her awesomeness.
Kiss of peace, PB
This is such a basic question–but how does a person figure out what looks good on his/her body? My friend went through my closet with me and said “those pants hit you at a weird place,” etc., and I don’t know how to see that for myself.
I had the most wonderful time at this event! I came home feeling empowered, encouraged, and inspired by you! What a wonderful opportunity it was to meet you and “pick your brain” in person after reading your blog! You have truly started a ministry, and I dare say “revolution” for clergy (especially women) who long to be authentic in our ministries and true to who we are in order to serve our churches and communities in the best way as we can, and to dress for the part. Thank you thank you thank you! I hope to meet you again in the future. I DO have some pictures to send. What is the best way for me to send them to you? Thanks again!
[Hi my lovely, click on the “Need PeaceBang’s Help? Button and write me there. That will connect us via e-mail and you can send the pics to me. – PB]
I still haven’t come down from the mountaintop! What a fabulous, life-giving, soul-filling 36 hours. Time spent with a room full of kindred spirits who “get it” – who laughed as hard as they cried, and held one another’s stories as sacred (God bless our cone of silence!) It was like our own Red Tent.
Take heart, all you pigeons who couldn’t make the trek to Louisville: we want to make this an annual event; a yearly pilgrimage with PeaceBang.
P.S. PB, don’t forget your best quote of the event: We talk about heaven, but look like hell.
Marv and I were talking about how exhausted we are. It was such an emotional two days, and I can’t imagine how tired you must be. But it is a good tired, borne from trekking through Church history and being honest about what the Church has done to us and to others, and how we continue to let that happen… and how we portray what happened through the way we dress and present ourselves.
I think the thing that really stuck with me was your conviction that the discrimination and oppression our l/g/b/t/q brothers and sisters suffer is about all of us and the sexual repression of the Church. All of our negative teachings about sex are being dumped on this body of people, and that was a new idea for me. Thank you for that. Thank you for all of it. It’s been a long time since I felt so much in such a short period of time.
So what am I going to do? I’m going to take a self-defense class (I might even see if Leah can put something together here). I think it will help me find my voice.
Thanks PB for a great seminar… for sharing your own stories and for making it a safe place to share ours.
Yes, yes, and YES! I feel totally empowered and excited about coming into my own voice and style as I begin ministry. I felt like this conference addressed things that many of my seminary courses didn’t and won’t and should. Plus, PB needs a reality show! So pastoral and prophetic in your words and consults. So glad you spent these few days with us.
I honestly can’t even say how much this event meant to me. Such a wonderful opportunity to be around others who are proud to be church geeks and passionate about our call and the Living God with whom we are in relationship. Thanks be to God! PB – Your encouragement, humor, compassion, and directness are incredible gifts. Thank you for being fabulous. Continued blessings on your ministry of authenticity!
Where did you get the great trousers? Brand? Did you have them altered?
I was so sad that I couldn’t be at more of the event! I really enjoyed the part that I was able to attend.
(Jill – I think the self defense class on campus would be awesome – would you make room for an alum to attend?!)
Can you do a reprise event in the Boston area? Pretty please? I’ll plan and host(ess) it!
Danielle – there are heaps of resources out there to help you work out your body type and what suits you. From the UK there’s Trinny and Susanna and Gok Wan… I’m sure there are US versions.
Also, talk more with your friends and family who seem clothing-savvy. Ask them what they think suits you best (after thorough consideration go with what you like and ignore things you don’t like).
You could also send a photo or two to Peacebang and ask advice…
I wanted to wait until I led worship to comment because I knew that I wanted to embody the work you led us through.
After the first couple of years of presiding I had learned to worship while leading. But this Sunday I added new levels of intention to my preparation. I hydrated. I checked my makeup right before leaving my office. I took a few extra minutes alone before stepping into the worship space. I altered my microphone placement to make the conveyance of the sound more consistent.
While I have taken on my pastoral and leadership authority deeply and reverently, I believe that an extra level of connection to God and Spirit was conveyed to and with the body of Christ today. Thank you for inspiring me! Thank you for teaching us all!
I am still soaring from the ways this conference stirred my intellect and soul. I laughed. I cried. I thought deeply about how I show up and what that projects. Each morning, I hear PB in my head asking me, “Are your clothes reflecting your soul?†(Which means I have spent far more hours getting dressed each day since than I care to admit.) Yet it isn’t really about clothes and makeup, but about preparing myself for ministry with God’s children. I went to a prison recently to visit a teenage pregnant mother. I woke up knowing I better look like my shoulder is good for crying on and simultaneously look like a serious pastor to get past those prison guards. I can attest that this conference gave me the tools to figure out how to do that. As I put on my “uniform†it prepared me for the mighty task that lay ahead, as if I were literally “getting my game face on.â€
What a joy it was to be with my empowered soul sisters and brothers who feel the depth and responsibility of our calling. What a privilege to be charged to live into it with our whole-selves, heart, mind, soul and body. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
PB – Love the jacket!
But what’s with the clunky shoes? Clinton and Stacy would not approve 😉
I *get that they’re comfortable for a day of standing and presenting, but they weigh down your look, no?