PeaceBang has been provided with a photograph from the wedding featuring the Reverend Miss Cleavage and she is sitting with her hand over her mouth, appalled.
Quite seriously, it boggles the mind. How could a bright, talented, committed young clergywoman think it’s okay to drape a white stole over a fitted, shiny dress that is short, tight, low-cut AND SLEEVELESS?
I’m so offended that I can’t even find anything funny to say. The stole looks like it’s being used as a piece of lingerie. It’s the most inappropriate, offensive, tacky and tasteless clergy outfit I have ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot.
Someone needs to do a serious intervention with this colleague. She has made a mockery of clerical dignity with this get-up and owes the couple an apology. Had I been at that wedding I would have pulled her aside before the ceremony, chewed her out but good and draped her in a tablecloth.
This is a generational issue. On one end of the BTFM missional spectrum is the aging Boomers in their muu-muus. On the other end is this cohort of young ‘uns who really think it’s okay to dress inappropriately as some sort of feminist statement or individualist rebellion. They whine and act defensive when I point this out ,but I am not going to stop doing so. This young woman, though, takes the wedding cake. Draping a stole over a short, tight, shiny, sleeveless party dress with her cleavage all over the place: wow. So very wrong. Clueless, distracting, immature, selfish, and offensive.
PB – are you really going to post this without providing us the photo evidence???
As a young clergy woman, I am here to say that I would never show off my cleavage at a wedding. That’s a job for the mother-of-the-bride.
As another young clergy woman, I’m shocked that anyone would think an outfit like that is appropriate.
I don’t know about y’all but when you are presiding you are WORKING, and the only way a dress as described would be appropriate for WORK would be if one was a stripper or other exotic dancer.
Since this young lady isn’t one of those two HOW would it cross her mind to be appropriate for her WORK? Put on a suit, or better yet a robe because your personality is not what should be on display here. I’m shuddering.
Thankfully I’m of a liturgical tradition, presiding at anything means a robe, but for those NOT in a liturgical tradition, but one and use it, they solve a multitude of such sins.
Isn’t anyone going to give Alex a rimshot?
*rimshot*
I really don’t need to see the picture after PB’s graphic description. All I can say is…OMG!!! How could she?!?!?
I’ve been in ministry for more than 25 years and I made my share of mistakes early on–things that seemed right at the time (and were oh-so-wrong) or things that I just hadn’t yet learned to think of. Some of them were truly cringe-worthy and I still feel embarrassed when I think of them.
My husband, when he was a very young preacher, once wore a red baseball tie to officiate a wedding attended by several parishioners. When he came into the office on Sunday morning, a nice, new appropriate tie was laying on his desk, boxed and gift wrapped. He was embarrassed but learned an important lesson and has always looked perfect for every wedding since.
Fortunately, we can sometimes learn from the mistakes of others (which is why I thank God for BTFM, truly!) but sadly, sometimes we have to make our own.
I admit I am very curious about this! I don’t think she’s one of my colleagues, I would have noticed that photo in my Facebook feed for sure! Okay, intervention time. Someone send her the link to Peacebang’s plea ASAP!
Just throwing this out there…but if her dress is an issue and it obviously IS, might there be some other self-image, body-image issues going on as well? She dressed in a completely inappropriate way, but the question for me is why? Did she know the bride and groom well, were they friends?
Either way, I’m grateful for the opportunity to gather and learn from one another.
And yes, I do think Alex needed a rimshot…GREAT quip!
I always find it peculiar that someone who would never dream of careless generalizations about ethnic or religious groups has no problem making generalizations about arbitrarily defined “generations.” I don’t think people born during the fifties have some kind of inherent tendency to sloppiness, any more than those born in the seventies have a tendency to laziness. Those who are wearing muumuus today–had they been in seminary thirty-five years (and thirty-five pounds) ago, wouldn’t they have been wearing very short skirts and fishnet stockings? And the ones who insist on “celebrating their feminity” by wearing tight, short, sleeveless dresses today, won’t many of them want to slip into something comfortable when they hit the half-century mark? And their great-grandmothers were probably enthusiastic about those dreadful flapper dresses during the nineteen twenties.
Hearing this dress described, it sounds like some bridesmaid dresses which are appropriate for some body types, but on others tend to be short, tight, and cleavage baring. Is it possible this sister in the faith was asked to officiate the wedding in lieu of being a bridesmaid, and asked by the bride to wear the matching dress? Or, is it possible she is not a ‘woman of the cloth’ at all but was asked to officiate as a friend and given a stole to wear to signify her role? [Nope, she’s a minister. – PB] I just want to give this poor woman the benefit of the doubt. Also, much props to peacebang for not posting the picture and saving her from further embarassment.
I will roll my eyes inwardly ever so often when seeing a colleague dress badly or inappropriately. I will maybe tell that person that their outfit is not the perfect one. But I find he wording here so harsh and judgmental. I don’t think this young woman would have been helped by a “chewing out” before the ceremony (geez, haven’t we all been young and super nervous?), neither would she have been able to do a good job after that. But some nice friendly advice afterwards, to help her not make that same mistake again, that would have been supportive.
This kind of rash and harsh statements about other women is what has made me almost stop reading your blog, PB. It makes me sad. I am all for caring about appearances, and for helping other to realize how important those can be. But “The Naughty Corner” makes me sad.
Generational ideas about attire aren’t always accurate– my girls never wear short skirts like me–they are more conservatively attired unless you count the skintight jeans but everyone their age wears skintight jeans so that doesn’t really count it’s just wanting to fit in