When I am deeply upset I find that I cannot find an appropriate outfit to wear. I default to a look that is something like what happens when a six-year old gets into a fortune teller’s closet.
I try to re-dress myself, fumbling around for something classic but I just can’t muster it. Maybe it’s a way of communicating “I’m sort of crazy right now so that’s why I look like this. Don’t expect too much from me, I’m too sad.”
Which is why I sort of look like a reject from “Grey Gardens” today. Layers, belts, funny old lady hat, bad shoes, dress that shrank and should be 6″ longer…at least I took off the striped arm warmers, okay? I did manage that much.
What’s your “bad default” clothes setting?
I’m sorry you are so upset.
Tell people you’re being revolutionary.
I’m sorry today is one of those days for you!
When I feel upset, I tend to gravitate towards the “I want to wear pj pants and my girlfriend’s oversized hoody but I’m grown up and will compensate by wearing three or four t-shirts layered on top of each other even though none of them match or complement each other at all.”
My default is ultra boring. Solid-colored shirt. Solid-colored blazer. Black pants, black shoes, pearl stud earrings. Zzzzzzzz… It makes me feel sad and sleepy even if I’m not already sad and sleepy. I’m trying to learn about pops of color, signature style, creativity, and that I don’t have to just be boring to be professional.
That said, I’m sorry you’re having a rough day. Good call on the striped arm warmers, but be sure to give yourself grace with the rest. God loves you and your congregation loves you, too. [You’re a sweetie. Thanks. – PB]
Black Old-Navy t-shirt, cardigan sweater, boots, jeans, hair in a low ponytail. But I wear that outfit a lot when I’m not depressed.
Sometimes when things get really bad, I go full-on skirt and heels and styled hair and makeup in hopes that people will tell me I look nice and that will cheer me up.
weekdays my default outfit is a knee length self lined gauzy skirt, a black long sleeve top worn with a bright red wide belt, bright red clogs and a red bracelet.
Weekends I wear tunics with dark leggings and Ugg boots (not a clergy person) [I have Fake Uggs that I call “Fuggs” made by Bear Trap. They are awesome sauce. – PB]
My bad-idea default look is anything too big and baggy. As I think you’ve written here, PB, we’re better off wearing things that fit: baggy makes (whatever) worse.
I am finally starting to swear off the “fortune teller” look myself. Thanks to you and your commentators for helping me learn to just say “no.”
Dear PB –
I’m a longtime reader, first time commenter, non ministry professional. (Though I often wish I had follwed the calling I’ve had for more than a decade.)
Anyway, I first want to say how much I enjoy and appreciate
your writing and work. I find virtually all of your advice applicable to professionals (esp women) who are working in professional but not corporate environments. (Obviously setting aside the stoles, collars and vestments.). As a manager and mentor I’ve needed to provide guidance in matters as seemingly basic as “no sleeveless tops”, “no visible cleavage”, “iron your clothes”.
Back on topic – I hope your mood improves. Be gentle with yourself. My go-to outfit when very upset is one of my sharpest pantsuits for work or darkwash jeans with a crisp blouse and leather blazer for “play”. I find if I look better I sometimes begin to feel better. Hugs to you.
Bad Work Day default = grey slacks and black flats with black collar. Period. no make-up, no accessories. :oP
Bad Day-Off Default = grey yoga pants with any number of hooded sweatshirts with “kangaroo” pocket.
Thought of you the other day Peacebang, when I dared to wear colored tights :o) black and white tweed knee-length skirt, black knee high flat boots, black collar and black 3/4 sleeve fitted sweater. Awesome peacock blue tights. Totally made my day. [High five me, baby! Sounds fab! – PB]
Echo “boring” as my default setting. Oatmeal cardigan. Black, long-sleeved fitted T. Black slacks. Scarf if I have any ambition. Blah.
Let us clergy having bad days and dull or weird clothes keep you company. We feel you.