Stars of Wonder: Preparing For Christmas

Don we now our gay apparel!

I mean, think about it! Think about the actually drab landscape that Jesus of Nazareth would have born into: a browns and greys – how’s the weather in Nazareth this time of year? It sure doesn’t look like this!

Right? All that clean white and red, I DON’T THINK SO! All the lights, the pizzazz, the solemn processions of gold and brocade and poinsettias and show biz?

Naw. It was more like this:

My point, darlings, is one that I am constantly trying to make: we serve a glorious God who shows up in human history in amazing bursts of beauty and splendor!

Maybe Angel Gabriel was just a guy in blue jeans and a fleece pullover who stuck his head around the door of Mary’s house and said, “Yo, Mary. You’re having God’s baby” and then thumbed a ride down the road. But we don’t tell the story that way because resplendent beauty is one of the most time-honored ways humans have of highlighting the importance of an event in history.

So if you’re just throwing on a black suit with a Christmas tree pin tomorrow night and rushing over to the church to read the services, you’re not FAITHFUL to that God! You’re representing the world BEFORE God’s appearance in it in human form, aren’t you?

She’s all blue. Boo-hoo. Yawn.

Even super-famous beauties can’t just wash their faces, walk out of the house and make it happen. It takes effort. And here’s the secret: it is in the act of preparing yourself (not “primping,” – PREPARING) that you gather the energy and intention to bring a vibrant presence to your ministry. Okay? So can you let go of the whole inner beauty/vanity false dichotomy yet?

As for you, Merry Gentlemen, God rest ye and please shave that creepy thing off your face if you got one:

Shave, work out, do some stretching, pray, eat a good healthy meal, take a walk, meditate on the blessings of God, listen to the world’s prayers emanating from every land. Don’t just blow over to church after vacuuming, okay?

Adorn yourself for the Lord!

(I know you can’t wear a big hat like that to preach in, but she’s amazing in every way. Study and learn).

Fall on your knees
Oh hear the angel voices…

It’s not okay for any of us to schlump over to the office looking like this:

(That’s comedian Michael Palin in drag, btw.)

Also, please do not tell anyone who asks how you are that you’re tired! The only appropriate response is, “All set for Christmas! And how are YOU?” My dearly pigeon dears, this is one of those times of year when your own needs are very unlikely to get met. You may be alone on Christmas Day. You may head home to an empty house or to total, miserable chaos after presiding over a spine-tinglingly beautiful Christmas Eve service and wonder why you didn’t just hide in the back seat of one of your parishioner’s cars and ride home with them. You may have nothing but PB&J in the house for you and yours. You may have four hours of gift-wrapping left to do after locking the doors of the church. You may be seething with secret resentment.

If so, take it to God. Bring it to God, bring it here in anonymous complaint, share it with your best clergy pal who can understand but do NOT bring a shred of it to the congregation. If you feel a flu bug coming on, drink peppermint tea, bully your spouse into taking care of the children so you can get a nap (and apologize profusely afterward, of course), discreetly barf in the church bathroom before the 5pm service, live on Saltines and ginger ale until tomorrow night… do what you have to do. We are performers and professionals this season, my dears. We need to show up at our shiny best, fake it ’til we make it, and never ever let on that we’re not feeling it (if we are, in fact, not feeling it).

What a bummer to have to do Christmas that way, right? I hope you don’t have to! I hope you have made time to spiritually prepare yourself for the religious observances of the birth of our Prince of Peace, (Wonderful, Counselor!) because I want you to be HAPPY children!

Do errands tomorrow dressed like this if you want to! If it gives you a smile, do it! You have an official PeaceBang dispensation to look like a ridiculosity!

Put tinsel extensions in your hair!

Go nuts for the party!

Remember that you are a gift of God, and especially this time of year, you don’t bring an unwrapped gift to God’s party. Now go tell it on the mountain, and bring the enchantment and the hope and the glory to this weary world that so desperately needs the good news.

MWAH! Kiss of peace and Happy Birthday, Jesus! to you from Your Faithful PeaceBang