Tunic Tutorial

Tunics! Tunics! Tunics! What are they, and how should I wear one?

“Tunics” comes from the Greek word “Tunics,” which roughly translates as “garment that I’m not quite sure is a shirt or a dress or what.”

They were big back in the Roman Empire and they were big in the 1980’s and they’re BACK, and they’re mostly pretty darned ugly. So let’s discuss, shall we?

Very easy: do not wear tunics with this handkerchief bottom. Ugly, unprofessional, and too reminiscent of your Halloween Witch costume. But here we see that tunics are often worn with leggings.

Ministers should not no never no-how be wearing leggings and tunics in public. No. Nada. Niente. No arguments! NEXT!!

Tunics can be ethnic, or evoke ethnic garb. Fine! Lovely! Just don’t over-style yourselves as these models have or you’ll look like you’re wearing a costume. On the other hand, don’t you dare go out in such an ornate top to an event and NOT DO YOUR HAIR AND MAKE-UP!!! LORD in heaven, how many times does PeaceBang have to say this!? If I wasn’t such a lumpy-bumpy girl, I would wear the red tunic in a heartbeat with a smoky eye, big earrings, black pants and bronze pointy-toe boots.

I am not a fan of ethnic tunics plopped on over jeans and worn with long scraggly hair and a bare face. Because when you go there, it’s HIPPY TIME all the way, darlings.

AUGH! This hideous thing is what mainstream manufacturers want to pass off to you and me as a FESTIVE tunic. It’s cheap, it’s tacky, it is NOT a go-to top for the holidays or any other time. PeaceBang had to take to her fainting couch after perusing pages of similarly “embellished” tunics. Such a plethora of hideous detailing did she encounter: sparkles, sequins, twisted fabric details, bizarre empire waists with strangely tucked fabrics, gauzy sleeves just designed to catch fire when they droop into the flame of your dining room tapers… OH, the suffering PB endures for you!! How she groaned with the pain of it all!

Now here’s a blouson tunic from the Old Navy “Can You Make Me Look Even Fatter?” line. AVOID.

By all means, wear this tunic or one like it when cleaning out your attic to find items to donate to the church fair. Just don’t be seen in public in it. I believe this is the sort of thing one is supposed to wear with the abominable fashion invention known as “jeggings.” Pass the ginger ale, PeaceBang is becoming nauseated!

This color is a bit much, but this is a perfectly suitable tunic. You could wear this with a cute knit long scarf and a pair of jeans and boots and you’d be set for a day out and about on casual pastoral errands. If the neck goes too low, try our Backwards Tank trick.

I do think that tunics are best when layered with a heavier piece on top. Cardigans work wonderfully.

I would get this in a second if it came in my size. It’s a classic tunic, not too long, beautiful details and – Hallelujah – a neckline that I don’t have to worry about! Love the color, too. I would wear this with a cardie or jacket and pair it with camel pants, boots, and layered turquoise beads. It would look great with a long straight purple skirt in an Indian floral print and a dove grey sweater. Don’t belt it or you’ll lose the clean line of the tucked pleats.

Tunics can be light and flirty. Save this one for date night.

Not for clergy. Too form-fitting and skimpy. No, you don’t have to go a size up and drown yourself in something that doesn’t fit. Just avoid this look. The leggings and flats thing is too girlish for someone in your position.

Good old J. Jill. Their clothes almost always put me straight to sleep — they’re like sartorial Ambien — but they sure know how to do a classic look. This is lovely.