O HOW IRRITATING!
What ELSE should a pastor be doing of a Saturday night than shopping for luggage, you ask?
I know, I know. But I took a break from sermonating and I am, as we say here in the Boston area, wicked frustrated!
I’ve just spent considerable time on Overstock.com looking for a garment bag with wheels that I can use as a carry on for an upcoming trip to Washington, DC. I will be preaching at an ordination and I need to pack my Geneva gown.
Back in my younger days, when I used to do a lot of Bhutan travel, and visit Bukovel, when air travel wasn’t the insane ordeal that it is today — you know, where you have to show off your pedicure and pack all your shampoo in a thimble and submit all your dangerous exploding lipsticks for inspection –a girl could just fly the friendly skies with a garment bag on her arm and the nice stewardess would happily hang it in the front part of the AIRCRAFT (it’s not a PLANE, it’s an AIRCRAFT) and one could simply pick it up on her way out of the AIRCRAFT.
Nowadays, however, stewardesses are flight attendants and they’re paranoid and underpaid and cranky and they will backhand slap you to the floor for even asking for such a favor. I’ve seen it!
So, my beloved powder pigeons, what am I to DO?
After lots of lots of fruitless online perusing and heavy, frustrated sighing at the computer I finally did a Google search for “garment bag for clerical vestments” and found this.
Victory! Or so I thought. The bag is long enough, it’s sturdy enough to stow in an overhead compartment and… oh wait. At 24″ wide it’s two inches past the allowed overhead width. Curses! And don’t advise me to sneak it past the check-in, children. With my luck I would be called out and backhand slapped to the ground by some over-caffeinated United employee. That’s the sort of thing that happens to me, it really does. Did I tell you about the time I boarded the plane from Dallas/Ft. Worth to Baton Rouge, Louisiana?
It was right after Hurricane Katrina and supplies were going down by the plane load, so I kept getting bumped off my flight. I sat around in Dallas and ate a lot of BBQ. When it finally came time to get on board,
AND THIS IS A TRUE STORY, EVERY WORD,
I was the last to get a pass and to board the plane. It was completely silent because it was a sad time to be heading to Louisiana and there were lots of volunteers on the plane, which was totally and completely full.
So anyway, a stewardess comes on board and calls our, “Passenger V. Weinstein?” Well, that’s me so I said, “Yes, that’s me!” And silly moron that I am, I raised my hand.
The beautiful Asian stewardess looked over at me all buckled into my seat and called out, “Ma’am, we’re over our weight limit for this flight, so I’m afraid you’re going to have to leave the plane.”
THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
The plane was silent. You could, like, FEEL the massive waves of pity and discomfort and “Oh my GOD I’m so glad that wasn’t me thank you god for sparing me this total public humiliation.” But what did your Sassy PeaceBang do? I stood up and said, “GOD! And I’ve been dieting, too!” And lots of people chuckled and I had to actually GET OFF THE PLANE (God knows where in the world my luggage was at this point) and go wait for the next flight. I probably went and bought $100 worth of compensatory facial care products at the Body Shop in the airport mall or maybe I just ate a lot of compensatory BBQ. I don’t remember.
So you can see how much help I need from you, sweethearts. I don’t want to stuff my Geneva gown in a suitcase or one of those dinky businessman “garment bags” (the only garment the manufacturers have in mind is a sports jacket, which is generally not FLOOR LENGTH), I don’t think I’m allowed to bring my little nylon garment bag on board if I don’t plan to smash it into the overhead compartment. I’m also not super-keen on purchasing a whole big suitcase/garment bag that I can check because I will hardly use it: I don’t travel by air with vestments often enough to make such a purchase economically advisable.
So what do I do? Pigeons, help!
PB, I have used this navy little number in vinyl for travel by air and car from Cokesbury on many occasions, including ordinations. It is only $10.50. It has held up for years! Talk about the frugal clergy!
It’s 22″x65″, if that will meet your specs.
http://www.cokesbury.com/forms/ProductDetail.aspx?pid=380864
[I have one just like this, Kathleen, but I was hoping not to have to bring something that I’ll have to crush in the overhead compartment. What do you do with yours? You obviously can’t check it. Do you pack it in your suitcase? – PB]
this isn’t entirely helpful but have you checked into the Acela train from South Station? More and more passengers taking that possibly trying to get around the insane airline luggage rules. [Thanks, but I already have my flight paid for — I had a United voucher that I had to use! – PB]
I have packed it in my suitcase, PB!
Would it be helpful to purchase or borrow a small portable garment steamer? It would de-wrinkle your robe if you have to pack it in a suitcase.
I fold it up with tissue paper, pack it carefully in a rigid carry-on, and take it out the minute I arrive. It’s never taken more than 15 minutes for the few wrinkles to shake out. Tissue paper is the key.
sko3 –
My mom swore by packing with tissue paper. It works! However, I often find I’m packing at the last possible minute and don’t have the time to fool with it. I sure wish I had her patience.
I have a steamer — an ordination gift no less — or you could mail it to someone in D.C. (Hint.)
Another ordination gift: a dress-length garment bag. Love it.
Lastly, no — not the Acela. I took it from Boston only Friday and would have rather taken the hour-slower Regional. Why? To get the “high” speeds, the train pitches up to about 2 degrees. Perfect to make standing people fall on you. Twice.
And the wifi was awful.
I have no idea whether or not there is any fruit in this but when I got my first preaching gown from Bentley and Simon in NY they gave me a very nice travel cover for it. But it was soft sided and I don’t know if they sell them separately. Surely SOME enterprising vestment company makes appropriate luggage for preachers! (Maybe we could ask the ArchBish what he uses?)
I am currently eyeing a garmet bag at JC Penny’s. It’s 52 inches long – I know my alb is not longer than that! It’s about $50, but I am waiting to see if it goes on sale (us pastor-waiting-on-first-call have to save where we can). My biggest challenge is how to get the alb undamaged, clean, and unwrinkled to various pulpit supply gigs, without spending the $300 or so I saw for a vestment bag in a church supplies catalog!
I don’t know how wide this garmet bag is, but it is soft sided. I rarely fly, so those issues were not on my radar. Thanks Peacebang for bringing possible air travel to my attention. I’ll have to consider it.
Have you thought about asking in a bride´s shop?
You know- the garment bags that come with bride´s dresses and evening gowns.
Might be worth a try.
Remember you can always slide it under your seat. I use a canvas dress length garment bag. I’ve had good luck with it. [That’s what I did — I bought a canvass dress length bag with a sturdy strap and I can fit it in the overhead or under the seat and keep an eye on it. Thanks! I got mine on ebay. – PB]
Peacebang – my fiance and I bought our wedding dresses in London, UK. Mine has sequins and hers was silk. We wrapped them gently in tissue paper, and put them into a hard, carry-on sized suitcase we bought there (long story involving 3 months and 2 backpacks only). They arrived happy, unwrinkled and in one piece, all ready for the wedding next week.
Get a small hard suitcase and a bunch of tissue paper. Loosely roll the gown in the tissue and don’t pack much else into the case, and you’ll be fine.
The flight attendent who singled you out should be slapped. You’re fabulous and she is not…
Where is the LIKE button for Wendy’s wit?
This is the bag that I use, and it would definitely be long enough, but you would have to fold it. It is much sturdier than the Cokesbury variety and has handles, for ease of carrying. It might even fit inside a suitcase, if folded carefully…
http://www.mvchurchgoods.com/detail.lasso?id=SL3465&label=vestments
[Yes, I have one of those. They’re great. I just didn’t want to have to fit in inside a suitcase and check it. I’m going to call the airline and see if it’s possible to hang the garment bag. – PB]