Sometimes, my dears, we can veer so far to the left of frumpy that we wind up projecting an image that PeaceBang likes to think of as SLAVE TO FASHION.
And she is sorry to say that that’s almost as bad as schlumping around in appliqued sweatshirts, jumpers and clogs. Speaking of jumpers, WAS THAT A JUMPER I SAW ON SOMEONE AT THE ANDOVER-NEWTON CONVOCATION LAST WEEK? I BELIEVE IT WAS.
The Slave To Fashion girl or guy (I’ll focus on gals here, guys can translate as needed) has so obviously carefully calculated every single garment and aspect of their look to be trendy and hip, it almost hurts to be around them. It’s like, “Whoa, back OFF. We get it. You’re with-it. You’re coolio.”
Not a good clergy image to promote. First of all, the Slave to Fashion is almost always quite young. She hasn’t really found herself yet, and it shows. It’s fine not to know ourselves when we’re young — heck, that’s part of how life works — but the mistake the Slave To Fashion makes is in thinking that super hip outfits create or project an identity. They don’t. What they project is “I need to stand out.” “I need you to know how with-it I am.”
It’s great to see fashionable ministers at any age, it really is. What the Slave To Fashion hasn’t figured out yet is who she is, and slapping on a full head-to-toe outfit of ultimate hipness just highlights that fact. Truly fashionable people aren’t worn by their clothes, they wear their clothes. They incorporate elements of fashion into their own look and present as unique individuals with flair. Here are a few examples:
Very fashionable heavy bang, classic but on-trend separates, and seriously fashiony shoes. The all-over impression is young woman having fun with fashion but not anxiously obsessed by it.
Lovely. Very fashionable clothing but she makes them her own. My overall sense is that I see a beautiful woman with a lovely energy. The clothing just helps promote her spirit, she isn’t relying on the clothes to create her personality and image.
Do you see what I’m getting at? I saw a young woman in the seminary refectory the other day in a red mini-skirt and red heels. It caught my attention, yes. But why was my attention being “caught?” What were her purposes? To show a mile of leg? Mission accomplished. Nice gams. But why did you need me to see them? How do red heels serve your image, your ministry, your day? Slave to fashion. I thought. I could only imagine this woman standing at her closet, strategizing this outfit (the shoes were too matchy-matchy for the skirt for it to be otherwise), making a statement with it.
The statement you do not EVER want to make with your outfit is, “I spent a lot of time thinking about this.” That is the antithesis of fashionable, darlings, and it’s not a fit with ministerial image either.
Here are some ladies who, for me, read as Slaves To Fashion. Look and learn:
Statement shoes, statement bag, statement colors, statement hair, statement sunglasses = where is the woman? All I can see is a statement.
Cute, fun, god knows she’s not in ministry, but those textured pantyhose are SO “I just saw this in LUCKY magazine and now I’m going to out-cute everyone at the brunch.” She’s young and adorable and it’s fine, but my point is that one super-trendy detail is not only enough, it can even be too much.
Here’s a young woman who clearly loves fashion and has a great sense of it, but who uses it creatively to enhance the person she is fully capable of projecting without the fun animal print. She’s very fashion-forward but she’s not being upstaged by her clothes:
Oh dear. I’m bothered by this. I think one of the worst aspects of the expectations put on women is that our appearance should look “effortless.” I know you aren’t really saying that, but when you write, “The statement you do not EVER want to make with your outfit is, ‘I spent a lot of time thinking about this,'” I fear that’s how it comes across.
I’m totally down with the PB philosophy that 1) fashion should be fun, and 2) get your grooming routine under control so you don’t have to think about it much, and 3) have a few good “uniforms” you can always fall back on. But in a world where women are simultaneously taken to task for not looking good enough, and also for spending time and money to make sure they do look good, this trips a few triggers for me.
In other news, that leopard skirt needs to come home with me NOW.
{When I was in high school there was a gal we used to refer to as “Try-Hard.” She had the Pat Benatar make-up, the slouchy boots and the short rocker skirt — which were all terribly unflattering and sad on her — and she just so desperately wanted to look cool that you couldn’t notice anything else about her. That’s what I’m cautioning against, just that sense of overkill and whiff of desperation. It’s hard to explain the difference between “wow, she’s so put-together” and “wow, she’s a fashion victim” but I trust that you know it when you see it. I’m sorry if I suggested that we all need to be as effortlessly chic as Jackie O. Because, I mean, fugettabowtit. – PB]
I have to comment on the textured hose: 11 years ago, I interviewed for a position I felt very passionate about (so much so that I am still in that same role today, and love it!).
Before my interview, I told my best friend (who has great taste) what I was going to wear (it included textured hose).
NO!!! She cried. You cannot wear textured hose to an interview!
Great advice for me then, and I haven’t been able to really wear textured hose since.
Tera
…and here I wore textured hose just today. 🙂 I’m Not A Pastor, which I think makes a big difference, but with an otherwise conservatively cut dress, black with simple lines, and great boots, the hose looked good.
Sadly, not a fan of the leopard skirt – it looks oddly cut to me and the length isn’t terribly flattering.
There’s ‘making an effort’ (as in, looking like you care about the context in which you’re going to be), and trying too hard.
I think, for me, if it looks like ‘what do I wear today?’ is going to be the toughest question you expect to answer in the next 24 hours, you convey a lack of depth.
It only gets worse when you feel like you ought to pile on “trying to look younger” atop “working hard at coolness” AND “I deserve to have my job because I am perfect for it.”
No wonder we’re tired. This struggle takes place every day before we even get out the door.
It has made me love uniforms … even if I have to make up my own.
Sounds like preaching. You work your buns off to get it just the way it ought to be–all so that your people spend the sermon taking what you are saying into their hearts, not thinking “Wow, she’s impressive!”
Great points. One problem is that clothing is so referential these days–referring to certain trends, shows, marketing, etc.—that it’s not very utilitarian anymore. And there are not a lot of great, durable clothes out there. You have to go to Sweden to get a white long-sleeve t-shirt with nothing printed on it and with trim, flattering lines.
I read the style sheets and NYC Style section along with PB and some other fashion blogs, then I try to adapt some new trends to my wardrobe which mostly consists of darkish skirts or dresses, dark leggings or colored tights and a bunch of boots.
In other words since gold metallic is in I got a gold metallic scarf on ebay and some black boots with gold flocked flowers. I have an animal print scarf and some lizard print leggings
I’m trying to adapt the trends to the outfits that work for me in other words.
Some of those outfits look like multiple trends stacked, and I think I learned early on not to wear more than one trend at a time.
Perhaps for ministers and many other professionals, there’s just a shorter list of acceptable trends to wear?
There are some particularly tragic fashion victims who don’t understand the concept of age appropriateness…after age 50 “cute” is not something for which I strive…
The jumper thing is worrying–J. Jill is selling one in their fall catalog. It’s like Elaine from Seinfeld is the new fashion muse, with the long jumpers and oxfords and vests etc etc. Egads.
Just to try out a different theory – anyone else notice that the “trying too hard” pictures all involved big sunglasses, and the “effortless chic” ones don’t. So is there something about eye contact in the mix here as well ?
I, for one, still wear jumpers! Horror of horrors for the fashion forward. However, with a black clergy collar, a black jumper works great and is more slimming than a skirt and blazer which I will also wear.
Dare I even mention, that I have jumpers in khaki and linen? They are easy and comfortable especially in the summer, and cover all the parts of the body. Just not all that sytlishly!
And who knows, one of these days, they will come back. Just look at the ’70’s & 80’s polyester and wildly printed dresses and let’s not even mention the Bohemian look that has crept back into style for the young and the hip, but not necessarily professional women or clergy.