So let’s review, chickens, shall we? (I’m going to be calling you all chickens until I can get Jessica Lange as Big Edie in “Grey Gardens” out of my head — did you see it? Wasn’t it marvelous? I loved the original documentary, which I saw billions of years ago, and then I took MotherBang and SisterBang to see the amazing Broadway production a few years ago, so I’m a “GG” fan).
Also fine (except I don’t see any of us wearing strappy sandals during our normal day). This pant is cropped. It is not just short by accident. There’s a difference, and you should know the difference. The difference is that a pant that is just short on you is probably also going to be too tight or ill-fitting in other ways. A cropped pant should fit comfortably everywhere else and end just above the ankle.
These are capris (or tight-fitting Bermuda shorts). Either way, they are simply awful. They’re too fitted, they’re inappropriate for ministry (if you’re doing a mission trip to Africa, by all means wear capris but NOT this snug!). Notice how the stylist does further insult to the female body by CHOPPING OFF HER LEG AT THE ANKLE with a perfectly lovely pair of gladiator sandals. Awful! So unflattering!
I think these are cute pants if they were in a darker color and didn’t have the twee little bow on the front. They should be worn with a lighter shoe, though. Again, notice how the line of the leg gets CUT OFF by the heavy black sandal. Not good. Although it’s very hip right now to pair heavier shoes with lighter weight tops (think combat boots with frilly sundresses), this is not the way to do it. Those are simple summer pants. The shoes are just too heavy in proportion and material to suit them.
This works much better for two reasons. The first is that the line of the pants goes far enough down the leg to create a nice, lean line for the eye to follow; it doesn’t stop abruptly mid-calf. The second is that the shoe has a heel, which is always lengthening. The third (for free!) is that I love those shoes and I am therefore unable to stop staring at them and wanting them.
Because cargo and capri pants are so in right now even in serious fashion, I am re-thinking my earlier opinion that they are VERBOTEN for ministers. I am thinking about bringing a cute pair of cargos to our annual conference, where I would wear them with flat sandals and something cute and creative on top, like a sweater set with a big, fringy scarf or layers of necklaces or a cotton wrap in my hair. The point being that if you wear cargos and capris, don’t just slap on a T-shirt and think you’re done. You want to use them as an “interesting” piece, not a “sporty” piece, which means creating an outfit around them that tells some story other than “Hi, here I am in my Tevas and cargos! Need any garden work done?”
I don’t like the shoes, but they’re far more appropriate than your Birks, right?