Posted on by PeaceBang

Total Fashion Fail Day

Dumplings!
Auntie PeaceBang set another BAD fashion example for you today!! Aren’t you lucky? PeaceBang has been so GENEROUS lately with her mistakes! Oooh, such fun learnings we’re having!

Feeling the need to counteract her bad hair color and cut and abundant meatballness with a carefully-chosen outfit this morning, PeaceBang decided to wear a black dress, green cardigan and green scarf with t-strap black platform sandals. She added a few cute accessories (fun ring & bracelet) and did her make-up with care.

The result? Disaster! And here’s why:

1. Guess what? Cheap cotton dresses can be see-through even if they are black. This one — a black jersey dress from Target — had been washed several times, so not only had it shrunk considerably (why did I not notice that this morning?), but it was practically SHEER, as I noticed in the mirrored building reflection in downtown Boston as I crossed the street. How lovely to see my bike shorts when the sun hit my legs!
Mortification. Do I NOT OWN A SLIP? There is no excuse.

2. That teal eyeliner that seemed so fun and chic at 9 AM? Faded to silvery aquamarine and became “What Was I Thinking?” by 2 PM. It is going into la Garbage pronto. I am somewhat addicted to teal eyeliners and had found that one in my make-up stash, having had my heart broken this past weekend by a ridiculous day spent wearing L’Oreal HIP Kohl eyeliner in a gorgeous teal. I didn’t realize that the HIP kohl (HIP stands for High Intensity Pigmentation) is NOT meant to be applied like regular eyeliner and that, in fact, it requires special training for girls like me who are inexperienced in the Ways of Kohl See the video here.
I adore, adore, adore the color of the liner (does anyone know another source for a gorgeous teal eyeliner? Perhaps in a gel formula?) but I have no intention of lining my inner eyelid with the stuff, as I’m certain that would be bad news for my contact lenses and allergies.
I’m so sorry you missed me with teal powder all over my eyelids and cheeks on Saturday afternoon. Every time I blinked the stuff dusted me. I looked like a Jewish leprechaun. Thanks, L’Oreal!

3. Even my shoes didn’t work: The T-straps on my sandals are too long for my instep, resulting in a super-attractive gap when I walk.
Niiiiice.

What can I say? I tried. And darlings, it is ALWAYS worth a pat on the back when we put some effort into ourselves that way, even when the day is a Fashion Fail.
I did a good, full day’s worth of ministry and I can lay my noggin down now in the knowledge that at least I could use my many fashion faux pas as a Teaching Moment for my pumpkins out there in BTFM-Land.

And as Scarlett O’Hara said, “Tomorrow is another day!”

(This, by the way, isn’t teal no matter what Elizabeth Arden says. That, I would call “Drunken Mermaid Green.” Teal is darker and … you know. If it doesn’t remind me of my trip to Turkey, I don’t want it.)

teal eyeliner

10 Replies to “Total Fashion Fail Day”

  1. I would try a stila smudge pot. They are fabu and gel-y.
    I also believe that everyone can benefit from a dusting of powder, a little blush, a swipe of mascara (it’s glamorous), and some lip gloss. Everyone. Even you people with perfect skin. [Oooh, I LOVE my Stila Smudge Pots! I have one in black, one in that gorgeous blue, and one in bronze that I don’t like nearly as well. – PB]

  3. I adore those powder kohl eyeliners, but you do have to tap them off on the edge of the jar before bringing them near the eye, and I usually have to refill the applicator twice. HIP does have pencils, that cost what seems the earth to me. I have the black one and I adore it, but it’s much denser and more dramatic than the powder, for sure. I wish the HIP products weren’t so expensive, but compared to some things… …and WHY is there no grey or silver? I find this supremely annoying. Black is too much for day wear, but I hate going out with naked eyes…
    I am very curious as to which of the other HIP products you’ve tried, and what you thought of them…?

    The other thing that probably makes the powder kohl work for me where it wouldn’t for some people is that I don’t wear foundation, ever. I put moisturizer on clean skin, do my eyes except for the mascara, clean up my cheeks with cotton and water, retouch the moisturizer where the cleanup was, then go get coffee and come back to do powder, blush, and mascara. I am blessed in being an early riser, though, so stretching the routine out works well for me. Am I a sinner in matters of war paint for eschewing foundation? Do you have opinions on the appropriateness of this, especially in an office or business setting?

    I hope you find the teal you want; there is nothing so fabulous as bold colors with a classic outfit. If you’re into teals and greens, I recommend for the nails the Sally Hansen Insta-dry line in Jumpin’ Jade or their teal which product’s name I cannot immediately recall; that stuff is incredible. It wears much better with the Insta-dry top coat, but I’ve found them on sale at Walgreen’s for as little as 3.20 a bottle, and they have a *ton* of excellent colors.
    Speaking of fingernails, how goes the healing on the pirate digit?

    I believe I have exceeded my quotient of queries for one comment; I now desist. Thank you, always, for having this forum available to talk shop on the matters of being beautiful while maintaining spiritual dignity; this work is important. We love you for it.

    [Hi, cuteness! Aren’t you dear!? Okay, to take your questions in order: 1. I don’t think it’s at all a problem to do without foundation. If you don’t need it, don’t wear it. I would, however, keep a blendable formula around to do the area around the nose that can get, forehead and chin when you need it. I use foundation more to touch up redness than anything else. 2. Thanks for the tip about applying the kohl over bare skin first & removing fall-out with cotton and water. I do think it would be worth it to break up the make-up app. in this way. I mean, I already wait four minutes to let my facial anti-oxidant serum to sink in before applying moisturizer, so it’s not a foreign concept. 3. My fingernail is growing back just great! Right now it just looks like a broken nail and not scary at all, for which I am relieved. Kiss of peace! PB]

  5. Oh, PB, must be something in the air this month! I’ve been beset by these fashion maladies too–including an incredibly bad home hair chemistry experiment that turned my white hair pink, then orange, then pinky-black. (Lesson? When you make a mistake, go to a professional to correct it. Do not repeat the same errors again and again. To do so is a sign of deteriorating mental health and stupidity. Oh, how I am wearing the evidence of both now!) And I am so with you on the disintegrating outfit as the day drags on thing. Every day this week I have been afflicted with this problem. All of which is to say, solidarity to you, brave sister PB. You are beautiful and we all love you, bike shorts and all!

  8. OK, stuff happens. You’re still beautiful.

    HIP makes a gel eyeliner, which I apply with my Sephora slanted brush. Mine is black, but I’m pretty sure you can get teal. Never had a migration problem – in fact, it’s hard to get off. I seal it with mineral eyeshadow I got at the local co-op.

    The application learning curve is somewhere between pencil and liquid liner.

    Mascara on upper lashes and I’m good for the day.

  9. I really wanted to actually stop a woman on the street and let her know that her cute skirt was so see through I could see her thong. Yep. In detail, along with her cellulite. And I was in my car. At least you were wearing bike shorts.

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