Beauty Tips for Ministers
Because you're in the public eye, and God knows you need to look good.
Veddy, Veddy Intimate Advice (But Also Very Useful!): Blisters and Bazooms
July 18, 2009 on 10:45 pm | In Basic Grooming Issues, Poise and Decorum | 7 CommentsO lovely ones,
This letter comes from a colleague who doesn’t wish to shock or offend in her frank mention of bodily realities such as the fact that some of our thighs chafe in hot weather or that we ladies do sweat (we don’t just “glisten”). Listen up for more Straight Dope from the wise L., who writes,
After a trip to [hot weather destination], and [second hot weather destination], and hiking in the mountains of [third hot weather destination], and most importantly, breaking some new shoes in, on a “pulpit” weekend, I think I can now recommend a blister and chafing – avoiding kit.
It would include:
* Band-Aid Friction Block Stick (I’ve also heard “Body Glide” is good, but couldn’t find it.) Use anywhere you think shoes will rub.
* Moleskin (and a teeny pair of scissors). At the first hint of rubbing or a blister, cut it to shape and apply (already has adhesive on one side).
* Coolmax (or similar) socks, for wearing with boots where the socks won’t show. My marathon-running, Grand Canyon-hiking sister in law taught me this one. Avoid 100% cotton socks like the plague. You need WICKING socks.
* Spray antiperspirant. For – ahem – sweating/chafing from “the girls.” Lift up, spray. Fabulous for hot sweaty situations. That sounds inappropriate. I was thinking about outside weddings, interments, etc.
[Gotcha, sweetie. That's what I was thinking, too. - PB]* Monistat Soothing Care Chafing Relief Powder Gel. I told you about this one before. I never tried it as a makeup primer, but it is SO fabulous on your thighs under a skirt! I have to admit, I had just gotten like Dolly Parton in “Steel Magnolias” –”These thighs haven’t gone out of the house without lycra on them since I was 14″ — not because of the jiggle, but the chafing. But this takes care of that. All over [hot weather destination] in a loose black skirt — no problems!
[When I have my own] minister’s office, I plan to have a bag of these items tucked in a drawer!
Dearest L.,
Thank you for providing these really useful tips. I am a little bit confused about the “wearing boots where the socks won’t show” detail — what do you mean? However, I am totally yes, ma’am, got it MA’AM about the WICKING SOCKS.
Do they still make spray anti-perspirant? Cripes, I haven’t purchased any for about 20 years now! Does anyone recommend a particular brand? Do we have to purchase carbon offsets to make up for the flurocarbons we’ll be releasing when we spray our entire torsos before summer weddings and funerals?
As for the Monistat Magical No-Rub Anti-Chafing Relief Chemical Compound, I don’t know how I’ll ever remember that name, but where the heck do you find it in the drug store?
Boy, today was a doozy. HOT, HOT, HOT! This advice comes just in time for next weekend’s big wedding in Newport, Rhode Island!
And from you to me, L., I don’t care if you call me Victoria or Vicki, just call me. And I was VERY happy to help your sweet husband pick out those pashmina shawls for your birthday.
Ain’t we got fun?
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Another tip about heat/sweat and the girls. If you do get a rash there, how to solve it? The best way is to you Desitin (overnight formula) this is a diaper rash creme which is 40% zinc oxide. It soothes the skin and protects it from further damage. Second best (only b/c it can add bulk & requires more work on your part), is to tuck a washcloth under the band of your bra (letting it hang down) and replace them as they get wet. For everyday maintenance, I used baby powder there (cornstarch only, not talcum powder–it is not good to breathe on a regular basis!), but I’m sure I’ll use the spray-on suggestion for especially hot situations.
I must second the awesomeness of the Monistat anti-chafing creme (or as I call it chub rub creme). In general I try to avoid skirts without pantyhose (so all spring/summer), but when a situation does call for it this stuff is the best.
Comment by Beth — July 18, 2009 #
Actually, PB, CFCs haven’t been used in the US and UK since the late seventies (they were officially banned in the UK in 2000). Plus pretty much every country in the world has signed the 1987 Montreal Protocol to phase out CFCs entirely.
I believe most antiperspirants are powered by compressed gas nowadays (air, nitrogen, something like that).
It’s the volatile organic compounds (VOCs) you might have to watch out for, but most companies have either removed them or are working on removing them before legislation makes them.
So spray away! [Psssshhhhht! - PB]
Comment by The Exegesis Fairy — July 19, 2009 #
Body Glide is great stuff! You can find it in bike shops–also Amazon I think. I bought some online at drugstore.com a while back.
Also highly recommend plain ol’ cornstarch.
Comment by Barbara K — July 19, 2009 #
Another under the skirt option is good old bike shorts. I wore them on my wedding day and I am wearing them now, with a below the knee skirt and way cute sandals.
Just say no to pantyhose when it is 82 in the shade.
Comment by Carol — July 20, 2009 #
I also swear by the Monistat Etc Etc Gel. It’s been a Godsend for me the past two summers. As far as where to find it in the drugstore, it’s actually in the “feminine products” aisle along with all the other Monistat stuff, even though logically it might be better off with skin lotion and the like.
Comment by Wintry Mix — July 20, 2009 #
Good, good, someone else pointed out where to find the Monistat.
Now, “wearing boots where the socks won’t show” — I was inarticulately and too subtly trying to say, “Don’t Wear These Or Any Socks With Nice Shoes Where They’ll Show,” e.g. flats, clogs, penny loafers, etc.
Comment by Lizard Eater — July 20, 2009 #
I tried the gel but like these better. Underwear plus a bike short can get hot, and shapewear is way too tight and doesn’t breathe. These babies do the job right: http://www.herroom.com/Smarty-Pants-sp100-Panties.shtml
[They're VERY expensive! Holy cow!! - PB]
Comment by C — July 21, 2009 #