Beauty Tips for Ministers
Because you're in the public eye, and God knows you need to look good.
Panteh-Hose
August 27, 2007 on 11:34 am | In Accessories |Darlings of my heart,
Reader Diane asks about a resource for pantyhose that wear well.
This leads PeaceBang to want to write a rant about the fact that, once upon a time (legend has it that it was immediately after WWII), some manufacturer designed nylon hose for women that were sheer and virtually indestructible. The pantyhose industry reacted fast with threats and recriminations: if women only had to buy a few pairs of hose now and then, where would all the profit be?
And so it was that the Legendary Indestructible Pantyhose were never manufactured and we’re stuck paying $8 for some flimsy silky things that are destined to run the moment we pull them on.
This might be an urban legend, of course, but it might be true. Why haven’t any great minds come up with a stronger pantyhose? Why, for that matter, aren’t there male birth control pills yet?
While we ponder these mysteries, let us share our thoughts on the dreaded panteh-hose, an item of apparel that PeaceBang dons only when strictly necessary and hates with all her heart.
What are your favorite brands? My lingerie drawer is full of Just My Size, Talbots (they make brown and charcoal gray! fun!*), and many pairs of opaque tights.** I also seem to have good luck with all kinds of Hanes products. How’s by you, gals? What brands work for you and last more than one wearing?
**Opaque tights are very much in fashion right now. They are not in fashion with Dansko clogs and long skirts, but with, say, a pencil skirt and a pair of ankle booties or nice pumps. If you wear opaque hose, do be sure to pair them substantial-enough shoes. You’ll look quite gauche if you wear a light shoe with heavy hose. See any of the fall fashion magazines for ideas and to get a sense of balance.
*Colored hose are tricky. Older women wearing colored hose should beware that they can look clownish, or break up the body into unflattering chunks of competing color schemes. Unless you have a fantastic figure and are intentionally going for a sense of whimsy, use colored hose in the same color scheme as your skirt so that they provide a longer line to your shoe. The same goes for textured hose: you don’t want the eye to be drawn immediately and dramatically to your leg, but to use textured hose to add some classy visual interest to an otherwise very tailored look. In PeaceBang’s humble opinion, diamond patterns are a no-no. Stay with a herringbone or other simpler pattern, and for God’s sake wear them with a heel. Nothing will make you look dumpier and dowdier than throwing on a pair of textured hose with clogs or “comfortable” shoes.
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I know they’re not for everyone, but I am a big fan of thigh-high, elastic top stockings. With these, you need not throw away a whole pair if one gets a run — just mix and match with another pair. Plus, you don’t have to deal with the dreaded rolling of the waistline, which no matter what kind I get seems to create a big line across my midsection and be totally uncomfortable. Thigh-highs can be hard to find, and not all brands are equal (or always available), but I’m a big fan when I can get them.
Comment by Parisa — August 27, 2007 #
Hanes Silk Reflections work for me. My favorite colors are soft taupe and off black.
Comment by Suzanah — August 27, 2007 #
So far I’ve had good luck with the assets line. They aren’t cheap, but they serve double duty as body smoother, and the hosiery is pretty tough. No runs yet *knock on wood*.
Comment by hafidha sofia — August 27, 2007 #
I pulled on a pair of brand-new pantyhose yesterday before church. Came downstairs. A place in my hardwood floor picked the hose and tore a run in them.
I went back to my thigh highs–although I think I need a garter belt because the rubbery elastic stuff never stays up for the few hours I need it to.
I’m going to complain about that pair I bought. The brand was Jockey. I only bought them because they were on sale a few weeks ago. In my opinion, the Hanes brand is much better. I like the Silk Reflection hose.
Comment by A.Lin — August 27, 2007 #
I completely second the Assets endorsement. You can get them at Target–they’re made by the same folks who make Spanx but they’re much cheaper. I wear the footless type under my dress pants every day and they make for great lines. There’s no “squeeze mark” where they start or stop, unlike the thigh-highs that were mentioned. I tried the garter belt thing for a while because there’s no uncomfortable pantyhose top to deal with and the thigh-highs aren’t elastic, but you can see the bumps on the garters under anything but the thickest skirt. So Assets it is!
Comment by Erin — August 27, 2007 #
The link for the assets line is http://www.loveassets.com/Products.htm
Comment by hafidha sofia — August 27, 2007 #
Once upon a time I was bequeathed, from a much older woman, one such pair of indestructible hose that she had preserved unopened for years. I gasped at the idea- how could you dare give them away?! Perhaps it was true they would last?! Much to my dismay, they were as uncomfortable as durable. The nylon had nearly no give, and after a whole day of wearing them, well, I felt almost sunburned. After that experience, almost any we have access to seem wonderful!
Comment by Amy — August 27, 2007 #
I was in Paris this summer, and NO one ladies, as far as I could tell, was wearing any kind of pantyhose at all.
And it could not have been due to the weather, as this summer was positively autumnal in Paris…I needed sweaters to get through July!
Comment by tom — August 28, 2007 #
Also, it’s worth noting that white hose is of the devil. Why women wear this I’ll never know.
Comment by Mrs. Philocrites — August 28, 2007 #
OMG, WHITE HOSE SHOULD ONLY BE WORN BY NURSES IN 1970′S NIGHTTIME DRAMAS!!!!!
Comment by PeaceBang — August 28, 2007 #
I’ve found great thigh-highs on http://www.barenecessities.com (though I’ve since forgotten the brand… dang. They were the cheapest ones, if that helps, and lasted for months).
Comment by Mrs. M — August 28, 2007 #
L’egg’s sheer to the waist control top Sheer Energy in nude. Something about the Sheer Energy line makes them considerably more durable. I only wear nude because I’m very fair skinned and these darken my legs just enough to make me look healthy. Anything darker and I might as well wear colored hose.
Comment by Kim D. — August 28, 2007 #
You can get many hanes products at significant discounts at http://www.onehanesplace.com/.
Comment by Stacey — August 28, 2007 #
Mrs. P: I think these women are obsessed with matching colors. Brown and black women especially have no business wearing white pantyhose, but every time I see this, the victim is clearly attempting to match all the colors of her ensemble. It’s a tragic error.
Comment by hafidha sofia — August 28, 2007 #
Kim D., that’s why I wear hose, too. I call the shade of my legs “flounder-belly white,” which makes no sense unless you’ve actually seen the belly of a flounder. It’s a neon white you wouldn’t think exists in nature.
I have worn light support pantyhose almost since I started wearing hose (insert large number here) years ago. My legs feel so much better when I do. I enjoyed No Nonsense’s “Sheer Endurance” for the half-dozen or so years they made them, but nobody carries them anymore. Another good option for me is Penneys’ “Sheerest Support,” which I believe is now called “Sheer Caress.” Lots of Lycra and very difficult to snag by accident. All of these are super-soft and silky. Not good, though, if you don’t like a little sheen. Sheer Endurance was more matte, but as I say, they appear to be no more. I find that L’eggs Sheer Energy are too delicate and almost always come apart at one or more of the seamed areas (waist, toe, or crotch).
I used to get at least 5 or 6 wearings out of both the No Nonsense and the Penneys’ brands. Penneys’ are a more little pricey, but not bad compared to the $8-10 I see on the non-support kinds. I’m ALWAYS sorry every time I buy anything else–runs on the first wearing almost without fail.
Comment by Psalmist — August 28, 2007 #
Psalmist, can you buy the No Nonsense Sheer Endurance online? They appear to be for sale here - $12 for pack of 3 pairs: Sheer Endurance.
Comment by hafidha sofia — August 29, 2007 #
And as for the birth control question, here’s why…
The male reproductive system is very simple and straightforward. From young puberty to old age, sperm are produced and disseminated with every ejaculation. Simple, therefore difficult to interrupt is a way that is reversible. (However, VERY simple to interrupt permanently. Snip.)
The female reproductive system is very complicated, and therefore very simple to interrupt, as there are so many options for interruption.
The trick is to find reversible methods, since the people most likely to need reliable birth control are also the ones most likely to want to have children later. (Well, that’s an oversimplification.)
I used to work for Planned Parenthood. Ask me anything, as long as it doesn’t involve technology that was invented after 1987.
Comment by Judy — August 29, 2007 #
Thanks, hafidha sofia. I got spoiled and used to gripe if I had to pay $4 or more per pair, but I’d be glad to now that I’m having to make do with “lesser products.” I’ll go check that out.
Comment by Psalmist — August 30, 2007 #