Beauty Tips for Ministers
Because you're in the public eye, and God knows you need to look good.
Lament Of The Plus-Sized Pastor (A Fashion Rant)
August 8, 2007 on 10:08 am | In Plus Sizes, Women's Clothing |WHY oh WHY is it so hard to find beautiful, classic tailored clothing suitable for plus-size gals?
Lately most of what I see is this sort of thing offered up by designers who apparently think I want to go about looking like a knocked-up milkmaid.
and Queen Latifah’s design over at Curvation Apparel are even worse. Half of these garments look like what you’d get if you crossed Bo Peep with Stevie Nicks. I am way too old and experienced to play the ingenue or some sort of gypsy femme fatale. Yes, I like a little flair to my clothes. But you designers don’t seem to get the concept of “flair,” mistaking it for “hootchie-mama.”
Avenue’s fall offerings are only just sort of acceptable (she looks pretty, though) but I know from experience that their fabrics and tailoring tend to be downright shoddy.
They do get props from me for offering nice textured hose ; an item I’ve been looking for. They also offer a boot with a wide-enough calf that I think I can live with, having sought knee-high boots for two years. I did find a pair for $8 on the super sale rack at DSW Shoe Warehouse last winter, but the heel is incredibly tiny, which makes me look even more like a meatball perched on two toothpicks. These aren’t too bad, are they? I don’t love the detailing and they might look dead cheap in real life, though, so I’ll make sure to check them out in person.
There are a few items on this page that you might be able to snazz up with some great accessories. The colors are rather “eh” but I appreciate the clean lines and the attempt to fit, rather than to obscure, our bodies. So okay, Avenue, you get a PeaceBang pass.
Lane Bryant has some great stuff if you happen to work as a a go-go dancer (although to be fair, they have some really acceptable tailored skirts for sale this season), and I frankly don’t know what Abby Z. is thinking, aside from one really cute dress.
Listen up, plus size designers! Stop with all the diva nonsense (apparently every woman with a big bust and a big mouth now qualifies for that honorific) and give us something we can WEAR for an honest price!! We don’t need shiny, lacy tops, we don’t need empire waists that serve up our bosoms on a platter in such a way as to upstage our expertise and intelligence. We don’t need shimmering kimonos and flouncy sleeves and skirts with bizarre, jaggedy hemlines. We need beautiful clothing that fits, in clean lines and strong fabrics, and lovely, flattering colors. And we’d like a little flair and pizazz without looking like we’re off to our night job at the Sizzlin’ Lizard Western Saloon.
I do not work in Nevada as the madame in a house of ill-repute! I work in the house of the LORD, who will smote you down if you don’t quit designing this dreck for full-figured gals! Ya hear?
Whew. After all that looking at bad clothing, I think my mind is a little cloudy. Do you think I could wear these with a denim jacket and black pencil skirt?
JUST KIDDING!
Michael Kors designed a very pretty and fashionable cardigan for large and small ladies alike, thank you, Mike. A bit expensive for most of us, but at least you’re making an effort.
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Peacebang,
it’s not just plus sizes. I am a size six with a somewhat larger than average bust and I’ll be darned if I can find any cute tops that don’t make me look enormous on top, not the look I’m after at work even though I’m not clergy. I wear a lot of black V-neck T-shirts dressed up with jewelry.
I was hoping this fall would bring something different but the empire thing seems stronger than ever.
Comment by anonymous this time, please — August 8, 2007 #
Preach it! I wanted to add that I have found lots of very nice, well-made and classically tailored items in plus sizes at relatively reasonable prices at Lands End (and you can return to your local Sears). They don’t have much in the way of suits, but there are plenty of sweater sets, blouses, black pants and long skirts to get you through casual days (true work casual not flip-flops, shorts & tees!).
Comment by Cam — August 8, 2007 #
Bravo PB! I know we’ve talked about this endlessly and it seems that we are going to have to keep talking about this endlessly.
There is one place that I would recommend other than the catalogs…..and that’s Catherines. I buy quite a bit of their career wear simply because it looks normal (unlike Lane Bryant which turned trampy a few years back).
What makes plus-sized clothes buying so much more difficult is that we have so many fewer options to choose from. Lane Bryant…Ashley Stewart…the Avenue…Torrid (let’s not even get into talking about them)…CJ Banks (depending on where you live)…and Talbot’s Women (depending on where you live)…not the same number of stores as the size 2s get.
I’m lucky..I get the fun experience of sewing.. but I feel for all those who have to shop with so few options.
Comment by Kim Hampton — August 8, 2007 #
The maternity designers need some of your scolding too. I need professional clothes which fit my rapidly expanding belly to wear in my first appointment. What I find are “Hey, I may be pregnant, but I can still dress like a whore” Yes the hormone are making my chest huge. No I do not want to show it all to the youth group or the over 80 year old gentlemen who count the offering.
Thanks for accomodating a rant.
Comment by Comment by Anonymous — August 9, 2007 #
What do you think about FLAX? At least for summer and transitional seasons — I think they make a few things for winter but I haven’t tried those. Mostly linen, with some rayon items. Nice colors and always neutrals available. I find them comfortable, and the Flood Pants are the right length for short-legged me without hemming. Sizes up to 3G which will fit up to 28, I believe.
Comment by Auntie Knickers — August 9, 2007 #
PeaceBang:
Thank you for this rather funny tour around the world of fall fashion. I appreciate your cry for sanity in the Plus size women’s market.
One thing, though, is the sad fact of empire waists is that they do often look more flattering than a regular shirt that is not cut with princess seams, which you find a lot in stores. It seems like somebody got the idea that trapeze dresses and shifts were not flattering on plus size women, ta da! And they all glommed onto the empire shape as they only shape out there!
Also, I totally agree with you about Lane Bryant. What happened to them. Their fits are weird and hardly anything is made for women over 23! I would suggest looking at the What not to wear basic silhouette. I’ve notice that hey have a standard outfit that seems to work — A nice blazer, good knit sweater and modest boot cut pants as the way to go.
Anyway, keep on commenting. I am in the ministry and I find you to be a breath of fresh air.
Comment by Popessa — August 9, 2007 #