My dear, humid ones,
I just returned from three days at a colloquy where I looked sweaty and disastrous. What can I tell you. I did the best I could, but weather conditions and the lack of full-length mirrors in dorm conditions conspired against me. Believe me when I tell you that I was a wrinkled chubmonster. The good news is that the setting was extremely informal with lots of shorts and sneakers* abounding.
(PeaceBang swears with God as her witness that she will never, ever wear sneakers to anything but the gym).
That said and lessons learned, let me offer this disappointing image of one of the most fabulously confident, beautiful women around today, Dana Owens, aka Queen Latifah:
The problem here is fit, not scale (her sense of scale is terrific: notice the big, dramatic bangles? It’s great that she hasn’t paired those outrageous hoop earrings with some dainty ring or bracelet — a mistake made all too often in the real world). But the shirt is an unflattering cut for her and a bad, unconstructed fit for any non-slimmy (even if madly in style right now — it’s that dreaded dropped waist from the 80’s again!) and the shorts are, while neat and pressed, a bad length that shorten her legs terribly (notice how a simple hand in her pocket pulls the crotch too tight — oops!). They could be worse: at least they’re at/slightly above the knee, which is how they should be worn. God preserve us all from shorts that hit below the knee.
Even her choice of shoe doesn’t redeem this look, although she desperately needs the heel to give her legs some length. Here’s a sleek, gorgeous woman who has knocked off her own proportions (pulling the hair severely off the face and neck makes her head look weirdly small) and drawn attention to figure flaws that are at most other times rendered invisible by sleek lines and elegant carriage.
While Queen Latifah did not ask for PeaceBang’s help, I would have also said, “Honey, I love you and think you’re smashingly beautiful, but that ankle-strap shoe with the thick t-straps is also cutting you at the leg and further stumpifying it.” If I was her stylist and she insisted on wearing shorts I would have put her in a longer tunic (maybe with a great belt) and given her a pair of platform pumps with a low vamp. I would have put her hair in a low ponytail and replaced the hubcap-sized hoops with some a bit smaller.
I mean, she’s a Hollywood star and hip-hop artist. There’s no reason she shouldn’t be able to wear dressy or casual shorts to anything she wants. You and I, however, shouldn’t be wearing dressy or casual shorts while on duty, my lovely Reverend friends.
I still can’t WAIT to see “Hairspray.”
(Thanks to Go Fug Yourself.com for the photo)
I hope I haven’t told you this but receptionist in my office keeps wearing these knee-length skinny shorts and horizontally striped polo shirts.
She totally looks like a character from some sort of stage musical about pirates…
CC
In my next life I hope to come back as Queen Latifah.
That being said……thank you PB for pointing this fashion mistake out. Latifah does them so rarely that at times like these it needs to be called out.
What disappoints me more than anything is how uncomfortable she looks. I wonder what was going on.
BTW, PeaceBang–speaking of questionable fashion–I wondered what your take would be on this use of vestments.
The Queen always rocks, but. . . .
I just can’t imagine going out of the house in a costume like this. That’s what it looks like to me, a costume.
Those knee length shorts are perhaps OK on the very tall, but they would make me look even more hobbit like than I already do.
David, LOL!
What a CREATIVE use of a stole! Oh, that naughty UU Enforcer. I wonder where he got that photo, and what the heck are those people DOING?
(P.S. Everyone at the blogger dinner was very cute and the only one at our Greek restaurant who was scantily-clad was the belly-dancer).