Summer Officiating

“Hello, darlings, well hello, darlings, it’s so nice to be back home where I belong…”

Ah yes, PeaceBang is home from her General Assembly, where she is so glad to have remembered her Monistat non-chafing gel that works like a charm for preventing blisters!

It was a very good GA and so very nice to meet many of you.

Now, let’s talk about what happens during the summer months, which is that many ministers seem to just FALL TO PIECES, Patsy Cline style, over how to dress appropriately for rites of passage.
You’d think that God never invented Gold Bond powder! You’d think that generations of dignified, ordained human beings hadn’t worn many layers of constricting clothing WITHOUT DROPPING DEAD OF HEAT STROKE for many formal occasions such as weddings and funerals and preaching engagements, and walking in Pride parades.

Okay, maybe that latter event is pretty recent, but still.

Please remember the Gospel of PeaceBang: Your comfort does not take priority over your office.
Beloved, let us not enable frumpiness and sloppiness among ourselves.
What is just another day in your ministry is a once-in-a-lifetime milestone in the lives of those you serve. Show up like you understand that, and if the rite of passage is a wedding or a christening, remember that the photos taken on that day will go into family archives FOREVER.
You may personally think that our planet is going to fry to a crisp in a couple of decades or that all photo albums will be left behind in the Imminent Parousia, but it’s not polite to dress in a way that communicates your despair.
You dress UP.

This means that we do not wear short sleeved madras shirts with stoles over them. Keep your shirts solid and if you must wear short sleeves, make sure they’re neat and ironed. Oh, and let’s remember the minister who presided over the funeral in madras shorts.

The right to bear arms is a constitutional one. The right to bare arms is not a clerical one: in a word, DON’T. It’s never appropriate for a formal occasion. Never. Officiate with proper arm coverage and change into a sleeveless cocktail dress for the reception. Nadia Boltz-Weber is edgy and hip and can wear sleeveless clericals because that’s a huge part of her image. They are not probably not part of yours. If you want to go sleeveless in your everyday rounds, be my guest (although I still think visible armpits are sloppy and disrespectful in most settings), but never for a formal rite of passage.

Here’s a helpful column for dude clergy in hot climates.

NO COTTON CAPRIS OR CROPS!!!!! EVER. They are sloppy, frumpy, and wholly inappropriate for any officiating or preaching. Period. If you have a smart pair of cigarette pants that you’re wearing with beautiful flats and a pretty shell and jacket, by all means. But this whole, “I feel so oppressed by the heat and I’m sure that showing 10″ of bare calf will mean the difference between life and death” reasoning shan’t be permitted. Shan’t. Formal occasions are not crop or capri occasions. Get some pants that actually touch the top of your foot like a grown-up.

Yes, I said grown-up. You do know, I hope, that much of what Americans have embraced as casual or leisure-wear are garments that were once only worn by children and juveniles? Be aware of infantilizing yourself. Read my pants rant here.

We do not wear shorts under Geneva gowns. Not ever. Not do we wear athletic sandals of any kind with vestments. Oh my God, remember this?

When doing weddings in street clothes, please never wear stoles over casual attire, and especially not over sleeveless, casual tops. I still shudder over this. It was so bad, I actually did two columns on it.

But here’s a nice, tailored look that will serve you well for summer preaching or presiding at weddings: a neutral lightweight suit and solid shell. Obviously, a pencil skirt would be cooler for summer than the pants. You could actually wear a stole over this suit. Put your hair up, add a nice pair of earrings and maybe a pair of heels, and bam, you’re set.

Here’s a little video I did on summer make-up for ministers.

So hey, I’ve ranted and rambled on enough. Post your thoughts about how to dress for sweaty conditions. I just make sure to powder down, wear cotton and breathable fabrics whenever possible, smile while the sweat is pooling in my shoes and delicately dab my face with a sweet little hankie. It’s all over in an hour or so, and one can always keep a big fluffy towel and change of clothes in another room.

Above all, if you’re in doubt, step it up a notch.

3 Replies to “Summer Officiating”

  1. I keep a hand fan handy, in un air conditioned locales. I’ve used it to calmly hand to overheating brides or grooms, or to fan myself in hot churches. Cost Plus World Market has a number loud ones but also plenty of nice neutrals. I recommend the neutrals for work and the loud ones for fun. In fact, just keep a hand fan in your bag all summer long.
    [I so approve of this. – PB]

  2. I just read the madras shorts funeral referenced post and i cannot even believe it.
    I am blessed with AC in our nave – but even so… Since my tradition is a collar wearing one, I usually know what I’ll be wearing under an alb. And I got this for the days that its super hot. http://www.clergyimage.com/#!product-page/c10at/20284dca-3614-96ab-3d04-11b29878496e

    Absolutely perfect. I do day to day stuff sleeveless if its above 80 outside, but have several lightweight black and white sweaters with a little shape to them that can easily cover shoulders for more formal activities, etc. I also will put a plug in for their maternity clergy shirt! fabulous company and fabulous shirts!

    Also, skirts?? Why wear shorts when you can wear a nice lightweight knee length neutral SKIRT with neutral SHOES and be just as cool and and look like you’re a professional?
    Not sure why this is pushing my buttons today, but madras…. really….

  3. Thank you for your many footnoted points on this. I officiated a backyard wedding on July 4th and, when my people wondered why I changed for the wedding (I had on a sleeveless, but decent, dress for the picnic beforehand), I said, “I figure if she’s wearing white, I should wear black.” We worship in collars at my congregation, so even in the ridiculously hot July weather, I knew what I had to do. 🙂

    OTOH, one of our Christmas-and-Easter people said of my dress that she’d never seen me “so naked.” I don’t think she was offended, but it struck me, especially since I thought about it before I left my cardigan in the car.

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