She Has An Interview on Skype

Wow, a question that would not have come to me five years ago!

Darlings, a pigeon wrote to me with a great question: what do I wear for an interview on Skype?

And I wrote this in reply,


Have someone call you on Skype and practice just having a normal conversation. The really important thing, I think, is to make sure you’re on camera at a good angle. I can look just like a mule at certain angles and I make sure to set the thing up in advance of the call to check out that I can sit up, look pleasant and feel normal (well, as normal as Skype allows!).

Check the lighting where you will be sitting, as shadows can throw your face into darkness as you speak: very disconcerting. Make sure the background is pleasant: you don’t want a Search Committee seeing you in your kitchen or a cluttered study. Choose a nice place and put a vase of tulips or something on the table. Maybe place a mug of tea at your side (you can reach for it now and then if you need something to do with your hands). Practice your smile. Wear something that frames your face nicely – nothing white and nothing black. Something that doesn’t show a lot of chest skin, which doesn’t look nearly as nice on camera as a beautiful fabric. I would keep the fabric solid, as a busy print tires the eyes. Make sure your make-up looks good on camera, and check it in advance (I find that a really bright lipstick doesn’t show up as bright on Skype — and my usual neutral just looks dead).

To continue with a bit for the boys and the girls: MAKE SURE YOU TRIM NOSE HAIRS! Seriously, one tilt of your laptop and everyone is looking straight up your schnoz. That’s why it’s so important to place the computer at a good angle and LEAVE IT THERE.

Double-check your face for crazy sticking-out hair or eyebrows, or fluffy things coming out of your ears or stuck in the corner of your eyes. Smile and check your teeth. Make sure there are no stains on your shirt. Don’t sit at an angle that makes you look all squishy — put the computer up on something so that you’re actually looking level at it and not down into it. Trust me: no one looks good looking down into a computer camera. We all look like horses peeking over the fence nosing around for a cube of sugar.

Do not, under any circumstances, allow distractions during the interview process. Do not get up “for a sec” and leave the committee or individual staring into your room waiting for you to come back. Think of your appearance as a true television appearance. Make sure there’s no curtain flowing in the breeze behind you, rattling of a furnace or any other “sounds on set.” Do not let the cat walk by the camera. Do not introduce your dog who just walked into the room. You are there to deliver the news, as it were, the good news of your good ministry — and to LISTEN ATTENTIVELY as the people on the other side of the camera ask, and respond to, questions.

Do not take notes. Do not type.
Do smile way more than you’re used to. It just looks much better on camera.
Do do some stretching and relaxing before the call, especially to relax your shoulders.
Do let us know how it goes so we can celebrate, laugh or mourn with you. These technological advances are great but they can be hell!

Lighting, hair and make-up good, as is color around the face. But look how wrong the camera angle is. Do not lean over, it looks very anxious and makes your hair fall in your face. This is also a bit too close — it looks like you’re going to jump through the screen and devour them — and fix the wall hangings, as someone on the Committee will be distracted by their crookedness.

Don’t introduce Barky. It will just make you seem crazy.

And this one’s just to make ya laff. “Oh my Gosh, was our appointment TODAY? Oh, you’re calling from the West Coast?”

Michelle Phan Teaches You How To Use Mineral Make-Up

Darlings! I’ve had a great response to my first tutorial! Now I have to figure out a better camera and lighting situation…

But please know that YouTube is so much fun for this sort of thing. Here’s the lovely and calming Michelle Phan teaching you about mineral foundation!

Make-Up For Ministers Tutorial #1: Quick Make-Up Job

See how this works for you, pigeons. What I have noticed is that it’s very hard to do decent lighting when filming with my Mac… one eye always looks made-up and the other doesn’t. Very weird.

But this was a fun first effort. It’s kind of terrible in terms of the finished effect (“Why is this woman who has one huge clown eye telling ME how to apply make-up?”) but I hope you enjoy. I’m going to have to experiment with different settings and lighting and also maybe get a different camera. I have no idea how one actually does a good make-up job using a Mac computer as a mirror. Any tips are most welcome.