Hey fellas,
Want to know how to match dress shoes to your suit?
Thank me later. Better yet, send a photo!
Hey, Daoist Priests: No Sneakers For You, Either!
This just in from the Taoist side of the family in response to this ole post on sneaks.
Hehe, I’ve been loving this site, Rev. PB, and felt the need to reply to this one.
I’m a novice priestess in a small but historic Daoist denomination. Typically one wears the traditional Chinese black mary-jane “cloth shoes†which are casual-to-nice for persons of any persuasion, in ritual or day wear. These, or Buddhist-style sandals, are the usual for many Daoist clergy. (Though technically “ten-direction shoes†are formal for Daoist clergy, they’re rather hard to find or make.) Black cloth shoes are modest and dignified.
But more and more Daoist priests may be seen wearing bright white sneakers under vestments. Truly and glaringly hideous. Imagine traditional “high church†Roman Catholic or Greek Orthodox robes combined with Adidas and you get the drift. It’s one thing to wear such during private rituals when laity aren’t present. But to think that footwear doesn’t matter, ironically may end up actively calling atention to one’s feet during public services. It ends up being very immodest.
Footwear have ritual import, same as any other ritual tool. It makes one look down (to Earth) when one ought look up (to Heaven.) I can’t imagine the ritual aesthetics for Christians would differ that much on this score(?).
Geez, I’m tellin’ ya! Those cloth Mary Janes are about as comfortable as you can get without wearing bedroom slippers! Granted, they don’t have much support but I imagine one could fairly easily find a black shoe with some support without resorting to the BLINDINGLY WHITE athletic shoe!
Sneakers are definitely not The Way to anything good.
*Badda-bing!* Thank you! I’m here all week!
She Has Blistering Commitment!
Oucherinos!!! Pigeons, listen to this tale of woe!
Sunday I wore a cute pair of black ballet flats (on sale at Talbots from $100 to $29…should have been my first clue, but I digress…) before the 8am service even began I knew I was in trouble. By the time I walked out of the service at 9am I was in hot pursuit of band aid to ease the pain on my blistered heals.
In pursuit, I ran into the council president. As I told her my story (feeling stupid for making this the topic of our conversation) the Sr. Pastor joined us. BOTH of them told me to just go barefoot.
THEY WERE SERIOUS. ???? I found band aids. I limped along. Both of them thought *I* was nuts for not taking my shoes off and told me so again after the third service.I haven’t searched to see if you have covered summer foot wear (I imagine you have) but I had to share to see who you think was the wackier. 🙂
Darling, PeaceBang steps right up to pin a medal on your pulpit robe for Valor in Service! Sunday service, that is. You made absolutely the right choice. Going barefoot may have saved you a wee bit of pain but it would have undoubtedly been extremely distracting both to you and your congregation. Well done, Soldier of Spirit!
Blisters are AWFUL! PeaceBang is quite fond of that little stick one can rub on to prevent blisters (I believe Band-Aid makes it). I keep that in my bag at all times. Another idea is to purchase some foam tape and back all your heels with it before you wear them for the first time. Don’t buy the expensive Dr. Scholl brand; buy your own at a craft shop and save tons of money.
As a last resort, crush the heels of your shoe and walk on the backs of them to preserve your poor bleeding flesh. The shoe may never recover but you may decide that the sacrifice is worth it.
Painful feet are a serious detriment to mindful, centered presiding. It’s such a disappointment when we think we’ve found a good pair of church shoes at a decent price only to find that they’re a living torment to our tootsies. We feel your pain, sister.
There’s some foam tape for ya. You can put sports tape on top to secure it. Just make sure to get a shoe that’s a half-size bigger than you need if you’re going to try this trick.
No Sneakers, Please!
Lovely reader Gina sent this in,
I am not a minister but my minister turned me on to your blog and I am a devoted reader. Kudos for doing your part to stamp out frumpiness! To that end, I’d like to suggest a discussion about not wearing athletic sneakers unless you are actually working out. An explanation of a “non-athletic” sneaker for casual wear would be a public service!
Dear Gina,
Thank you for your letter and for your excellent suggestion. You reasonably suggest a “discussion” about wearing athletic sneakers outside of the gym, but PeaceBang is going to make this much easier although less democratic:
PEOPLE, UNLESS YOU’RE GOING TO THE GYM, DON’T WEAR SNEAKERS. THANK YOU.
Seriously, though. I am in the process of packing for a long trip abroad and anticipating with much dismay the sight of American tourists sightseeing in Big Wanking White Sneakers. On one hand, I’m grateful that anyone is lucky and solvent enough to travel. On the other, I think it sets U.S.-French relations back ever so much when we storm the Bastille (or the Louvre, or Notre Dame) in our big ole sneaks and baseball caps. There’s such a thing as Beauty, and it is revered as a transcendent reality in much of the world (the French, for example, are known for their devotion to it). So I for one am not about to visit the Hagia Sofia in a pair of Big Wanking Sneakers. Nor shall I defile the temple of Nike in a pair of Nikes. What I will do is wear black walking shoes that are like sneakers in comfort and construction but do not scream, “I’m From the USA Where Sloppiness Is Our Expression of Freedom!”
(One caveat: as far as PeaceBang is concerned, the very elderly may wear whatever they like on their feet when touring. That also goes for veterans. And probably some other special honored people I haven’t thought to include right now. But for those of us who are fairly hale and hearty and have options, let’s opt for something more appropriate that Big Wanking Sneakers.)
That goes for our ordinary, non-traveling lives, too. Sneakers are for the gym. And it’s really not beyond any of our capabilities to change shoes after a work-out. There are lots and lots of comfortable, foot and ankle-supporting shoe options out there. Even black sneakers are better than the Big Wanking White Ones.
As far as “non-athletic sneaker” for casual wear that Gina references, that would be something like this:
Very cute, very kicky, if that’s your thing (I don’t love the Asics for the guys in the top photo, but the Pumas for gals are right cute).
But this cute colorful kicks thing can get out of hand. I can just hear the “Bozo The Clown” theme when I look at these.
Boots N’ Skirts N’ Stuff
A lovely colleague who just purchased some super riding boots asked me the other day how to wear them with skirts. Although we went over the Skirts and Boots Question at great length here, I just wanted to tell you about a gal I saw in the grocery store who was doing it all wrong. She was a fit, handsome middle-aged white woman who looked confident and put together except that she was wearing a pleated skirt well above the knee and knee-high boots with nude stockings. The big gap of flesh between her boots and her skirt made her look exactly like a drum majorette from the waist down. Not good, not good! Reverend ladies of all ages, stay far away from this look or someone may hand you a baton and big, fluffy hat with a chin strap and start following you around with a tuba.
In other Shoe Problems, one of my spies called to leave news of a Flip-Flop Sighting on my voice mail. His message was simple, and so right so I’ll just quote him: “It’s DECEMBER. You should NOT be wearing flip-flops!” Here, here.
PeaceBang is noticing that long, full skirts are still being worn by female Clergy of Size and she has to say precious butterbeans, if you feel at your best visually adding about 30 lbs. to your frame, that’s just the way to do it! Be plump, be flowing, be abundant if you absolutely insist! Or, if you’d like to show that you have a shape that’s actually lots and lots more interesting than voluminous fabric, try on a more fitted style like this one from Catherine’s. 
What’s so scary about that?? You don’t have to buy it or anything but seriously gals, if you want one change in 2008 that can be as Moses bringing you out of The Land of Frump, this is it. Shapeless jackets and skirts are out, out, out, and Why? ‘Cause although the world of fashion can be crazy at times, sometimes it makes changes because certain silhouettes are ugly and unflattering. Please give away your utterly shapeless skirts or take them to a tailor and have them taken in at the hips, or hemmed, or do something that will give them some shape. Will you do that for me? Because I just have an irrational need for you to look at least as beautiful in the world as Condi Rice. I don’t like what she represents but she consistently far outshines the female clergy in the polished image department, and that ain’t right.
Speaking of shape, and I was, PeaceBang is squeezing out of her favorite black blazer and noticed that her blouse was pooching out below her blazer buttons during tonight’s worship service for The Compassionate Friends. Oh sure, I was fine standing but sitting at the pulpit, Houston we had a problem . Good thing I could cover my poochiness with a combo of strategic placement of my leather binder of readings and good posture.
Certain items in our wardrobes are so essential that it’s important for us to make sure they fit appropriately at all times. If you have a tendency to change sizes throughout the year, be vigilant. While you work on slimming down (or fattening up, if that’s the issue), be sure you’ve considered what fits and what might need to be purchased or borrowed in a size up or down to get you through the transitional time. In my case, a classic black blazer is something I cannot be without. So while I work on losing the buttah, I’ll temporarily switch to the dreaded Unstructured Black Jacket and wear higher heels and dressier accessories to give my outfits the polish that I want to try to have. That and a good girdle should see me through the holidays.
Remember: NO SNOWMAN SWEATSHIRTS. NO SNOWWOMAN OR EVEN SNOWPERSON SWEATSHIRTS.