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A Good Neckline To Wear With Clericals

Clergy gals,
I hear that wearing the dog collar is a commitment that can feel onerous at times. I have written many posts stating my position that clericals should be worn with classic garments, and only in black or blue, else risking a conflicted public image, ie, “Hi! I’m an ordained religious leader but I’m really desperate to assert my individuality, too! So, like, although my clericals communicate my vocational commitment really powerfully, I’m going to let my super stylin’ jacket loudly broadcast how snappy and fashionable I am! Because I really can’t handle it if you miss that important fact about me!”

All of which has the end result of communicating immaturity and inner conflict. I know it’s hard, pigeons. I have compassion. But I also don’t want you running around undermining your pastoral authority and power of presence by appearing to place a higher priority on being a hip chick than being a self-respecting priest or minister. By all means be chic and fashionable. Just be careful not to look like you’re trying too hard.

Here is a neckline that is very hot nowadays that I think would look fantastic with a collar:

I’m being treated for Lyme disease and man, I can’t even make it until 10 PM these days. You should see me get ready for bed. My head alway feels cold so I wear a little cotton cap to sleep in. As I pad around in my robe shutting things down for the night I look like an Amish woman, or maybe Jean Paul Marat.

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Upgrading a Little Girly Vacation Garment for a Day of Ministry Work

One of my favorite outfits is a babydoll dress or tunic over slim pants with boots and a cardigan. I feel very much myself in this kind of outfit, but it’s really not appropriate for ministry. It’s more appropriate for an art teacher or a gal who works at the gift shop at Shaker Village or someplace else warm and comfy and creative.

But sometimes you just have to get yourself a garment that’s for you and not for the church or your ministerial role. SOME of those garments shall remain nameless in the far recesses of our lingerie drawers and guest room closets, but some of them we can share here, can we not?

Look at this hideously inappropriate thing for any woman over 19 or maybe any woman of any age who is not Laura Ingalls Wilder:

Can you imagine me wearing this to church? NO. WAY. But I would certainly remove that bottom ruffle and wear it with a pair of jeans and boots on a day off.

Now here’s how I would wear a similar garment but make it professionally appropriate:

I would get it in black, wear it with black yoga pants and boots (not tights — too short!! And not leggings because you remember my rule: If you can’t wear the garment without pants and feel comfortable, don’t wear it with leggings, ’cause LEGGINGS AREN’T PANTS. They’re just heavier pantyhose!). I’d pair this with a cardigan and top it with a pashmina or a paisley shawl. A nice ring, a pair of beautiful earrings, hair did and make-up brings it up from “cute little girly dress” to “comfortable garment for a day at the office in winter.”

As you may have guessed, I wear boots almost every day once the cold weather hits. Boots are me and I am boots, and I love my collection a whole lot.

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Stylin’ With the Collar

Hello pigeons!! Help a gal out here, will you? This came by e-mail the other day and I responded that while I don’t wear a collar and don’t have to fit it into my outfit on a daily basis, many of my readers do and will be able to offer advice. So advise away! Favorite tips? Combinations? Lead this newbie by the hand. Help her find her way…

The only profound observations I have on the subject are:

1. Don’t get all wackadoodle with the colors of your clericals. Black or shades of blue should be it. Purple is apparently for bishops and other colors send mixed messages. You either wear clericals, or you don’t. Wearing clericals with a cute graphic on them or in lemon yellow or bright pink communicate identity confusion, like, “I’m a clergy person claiming authority but I still wanna be CUTE and non-threatening!”

2. Do not wear clericals over corduroy jumpers. Because corduroy jumpers are of Satan.

3. A collar is a strong garment. So you want the rest of your look to be similarly strong, if you know what I mean. Nothing tiny and delicate in scale. No small florals. Nothing lacy and flowy. Think elegant, powerful, striking garments. A beautiful belted jacket. An ethnic textile shawl around a simple V-neck dress with a slim belt and boots. Not a fleece pullover. As a young woman, you will have your clerical authority questioned all the time so it’s best to err on the side of formality for awhile.

4. Well-made accessories and jewelry. Nothing too whimsical or super trendy that it will look like a jarring disconnect between the gravitas of the collar and the silliness of your details. Again, that sends mixed messages (“I’m not ready for this responsibility”).

READERS? Looking forward to your thoughts!

I am going to be ordained in a few days. I’ve followed your blog with interest, but I notice that you don’t have much to say about clerical collars and how to style them. Given how … dowdy the womens’ style clerical collars tend to be, this is a challenge for me as a thirty-year-old Lutheran soon-to-be-pastor. Particularly given that I’m slightly baby-faced–I was mistaken for a teenager two years ago, which is a bit of a problem when you’re trying to project professional competence “I am someone you can take your troubles to.” (I mention this, and everyone’s all, “but you should be glad you look younger than you are!” Well, twenty years from now I’ll probably love it, if I still look fifteen years younger than I am. Right now? Not helpful.) But given the babyface, I do feel it’s important to wear the collar for that little extra bit of gravitas, but I don’t want to look dowdy, you know?

I have a few clerical shirts already and two clerical “janies” and would like some advice.

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Lug Soles: Fine For The Office And Most Days, But Not Okay For Preaching Or Interviewing?

Pigeons,
Something serious has happened.
Quite serious.
PeaceBang cannot make up her mind on a shoe issue and needs your help!

The issue in question is lug soles. So many otherwise fabulous, entirely professionally appropriate shoes have them nowadays. They’re comfortable and look much less lunky on the foot than they do in photos. Here are some super-fab shoon that have lug soles that I would certainly wear for most days:

And these Fly London beauties (well, the top two).

I think that as long as the shoe is elegant and well-designed, the lug sole doesn’t make it into a sneaker but it most definitely does render it unfit for a formal occasion. One would not wear a lug sole to an MFC interview, wedding or funeral, period. But what about for preaching? That’s where I’m undecided. I have a pair of black Fly Londons, so you don’t notice the lug sole so much. I’ve worn them with my preaching robe once. They’re comfortable and give good height but I just could not abide by the casualness factor of that heel. I shan’t wear them again.

What do you think? Just to be clear, you’re not allowed to disagree with me about weddings and funerals because I’ve made up my mind on that and I am right. You can put your hand down over there, the one who’s waving from the corner. I am firm on this.

But – preaching? MFC interviews? With a sharp suit? I guess I’d have to see the whole outfit, eh?

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The Season’s Full Skirts And Dressing For Our Elders

Full skirts are just ALL THE RAGE this season. Let’s discuss, boys and girls.

“Full skirt” can mean lots of things. Here are some of this fall’s full skirts that are chic and professionally appropriate for clergy (the middle one is an inch too high but with a pair of opaque hose I wouldn’t pull you over and ticket you):

Next up is a gorgeous skirt and adorable outfit but the moto jacket is not professional for those in a conservative profession (and yep, that’s us no matter how hip and mod you think your religious tradition is. It’s a conservative profession. Don’t argue with your Auntie PeaceBang). The jacket would be find with a classic pair of well-tailed trousers. The skirt is to love, but it’s too short for our purposes and if was cut any longer it would veer into Donna Reed territory. Skirts at the knee, ladies. Not above. Right at the knee. If a full skirt at the knee is frumpy on you, stick with pencil skirts or tulip or kick-pleat or maxi skirts or some other style:

Below is a beautiful, super-feminine look that I think you should also be very careful with, especially if you’re a young woman in religious leadership. If I saw this gal walking around on the streets in NYC I would totally give her two snaps up for looking amazing, don’t get me wrong. But if you want to be taken seriously as a community leader, this is not the image you want to go for. This is too “Disney Princess Gets Her First Job” for your, Reverend. Killer bag, though, non?

If you’re wondering, “Well, what if she styled this differently? Could she use that skirt professionally?” My instincts say… mmmm, maybe. But be aware that the skirt is too ballroom-full to evoke anything but romance. If you want to style it for ministry, here’s what I’d do: pair it with black tights and a pair of black high booties or wedge heels, a nice white blouse, and a black cardigan. Pull the hair off the high knot and wear in a more sedate, low chignon. Go give the talk for the retired men’s or the altar guild’s meeting and be charming, brilliant and impressive. The elders will recognize that skirt shape from their past.

Did I mention that you should always dress up when you do presentations for our church elders? You should. Step up your game for them: it shows respect and generational sensitivity, as they represent a more formal era. Consider also that for more fragile elders who don’t drive during the night or generally get around much anymore you are their cultural outing. You may think you’re just going to give a low-key program for the ROMEOS (Retired Old Men Eating Out) but you may be the only live, in-person learning and socializing opportunity they have this week or this month. Don’t pop over to meet them in chinos and a wrinkled shirt. You will likely notice that many of them are wearing sports jackets, or if it’s a women’s group or mixed crowd, the women are wearing pretty scarves, jewelry and make-up. They made the effort and so should you. Give them something to admire in your appearance. If nothing else, that pretty brooch or snazzy tie are conversation-starters.

This shape, I would avoid all together. It’s too short even with tights and it’s way too girlish for religious leader. See the banded waist and pleats that make it swingy and youthful? It’s adorable but avoid, avoid, avoid.