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Jacket Designs for Busty and Curvy Gals

OOF. PeaceBang went boom last night on an icy front walk at 12:30 AM while walking her dog and she is feeling like the Original Winter Ogre, only with worse aches and pains. So let’s talk about something nice and shallow for a while before PeaceBang does something desperate like buzz cut her hair and dye it teal blue.

Instead of discussing the real evils of the world, let’s talk about the tragedy of trying to find a decent jacket for a girl with a bust. Honestly! Have you noticed that it’s just ever so hard to find a nice, flattering jacket to wear for a day of ministry where you have three major goals:
1. to look pretty good;
2. to not feel all buttoned up in a stiff blazer;
3. to not spend $150 on the thing?

IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK, FASHION PEOPLE? Apparently so, because the Fashion Powers and Principalities seem to think that we want to look top heavier super chunks! And I have evidence of this!

She’s so cute! And young and fresh! And this is a beautiful color! But the smooshed uni-boob situation coming up here is not cool. Also, cutting the sleeves at the same length as the hem just widens a girl. Don’t Fashion People know this?

The trim around the lapel doesn’t make this next jacket less of an unstructured mess. It’s still going to add more bulk around the chest and cling to the butt. You’re not fooling me with your white trim, Fashion People!

This next piece is so much neater and even pretty, but again, why do they cut the bell sleeves to the exact same length as the waist? Grrrr! If I stand with my arms at my sides, this cut makes me look twice as wide as I need to look! And if I hem the sleeves, they’re just gonna look dumb.

This next outfit isn’t too terrible, it’s just medium-terrible. Boring, frumpy, and the color is like what would happen if cotton candy mated with a peach. I can’t think of that many women who would shine in this color and I can’t think of anyone who really needs this in her closet.

Oh, I see what they did with this next unstructured jacket design. They moved all the excess fabric from the bust to the butt. Well… okay? This would look nice on a large, tall woman who doesn’t have a bust. Or a butt. But most of us have one or the other.

Yea, like this woman. This flappy jacket style looks good on MODELS and that’s about it.

Now that we’ve seen the bad news, let’s see some better and then good news in the jacket department. I got all of the following image from Macy’s website if you want to check them out yourself. Most of them are Tahari. Continue reading “Jacket Designs for Busty and Curvy Gals”

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Visual Beauty Break: Spring Ensembles

After (or during) a day of intense spiritual work and words, words, words and concepts (GOD, f’rinstance!) isn’t it nice to take a little visual beauty break and think about spring?

Enjoy the visual break and click on the photos to enlarge. You can see the whole pin (not clumsily cropped by my awesome screenshot skills) at my Ministry Looks Pinterest page. I need to start one for the mens. [I just did! – PB]

Pastels can be downright smart, y’all. This is sharp, sharp, sharp. Do you love those stripes? I love a good stripe.

Classic, tailored pieces are always in vogue and good for your professional wardrobe. In fact, if you’re not confident about having a look, you can’t go wrong with well-tailored classics. Fellas, this color combo isn’t exactly creative but you can’t go wrong with it:

These jeans are too fitted for a minister to wear (not professional) but if you swapped out the super skinny jeans for a more mature pair you’d have a fantastic outfit here.

Close your eyes and dream of daffodils, darlings.

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Caution: CULLAH Ahead

Let’s tawk about CULLAH.
Bright CULLAH, as you have heard PeaceBang say, is best used in little doses as a POP. You don’t want to sear people’s retinas when you walk through the door, and especially if they’re in delicate condition on the cardiac care ward. There’s a lot of CULLAH out there for the Spring season and some of it is pretty aggressive.


Ouch! Neon Leprechaun!


Ew! Acid Rain Daffodil!


Look! It’s a Daddy Loud Legs! Put it outside! (Click to enlarge)

A couple of things to think about, sweetlings.
First of all, if the color is not to be found in nature, use it very sparingly.
Second, if you have bright fake colored hair, avoid any loud colors on your person or risk looking like a clown. It’s not a look I recommend.
Third, bright colored pants don’t really belong on anyone but the very young and trim. This isn’t to say that I don’t myself have some green jeans and a pair of purple jeans, but DO AS I DO, NOT AS I SAY. I mean, DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO. I look very silly in my colored pants but I’m a Recovering Bohemian and I bought those pants last summer when I was spending all my time at the theatre. If I wear them to church it is always with black on top. The purple jeans look perfectly fine for work but there is no excuse whatsoever for the green ones, which I really ought to give away immediately. They are hideous and inappropriate.

Now I’m off to pretend I know the first thing about football when I really just in it for the company and the Doritos and chicken wings. Consider that my confession for the evening and GO RED SOX! Something like that! Homerun!

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Black Tops

Someone who doesn’t understand might look at my closet and see a huge row of black shirts. But it’s not sheer madness to have multiples of any item that is a staple of your wardrobe. You may see “black shirt” but that’s a very superficial assessment. What kind of black shirt? What function does it serve?
Is it a black camisole with lace trim that looks nice under a cardigan?
Is it a black camisole that fits extra long so I can wear it under more cropped tops for a totally different, casual look?
Is it a sleeveless black top with a V-neck that I can wear belted with a silk scarf for a dressy suit look?
Is it a rockabilly black top with a ruffled neck and big buttons that I can wear with jeans while I go line dancing?
Is it a ribbed black mock turtleneck that I wear all the time with my hair up in a bun because that’s my favorite go-to look with a pair of big silver hoops?
Is it a black cardigan? A black cotton cardigan for the summer? A cropped black cardigan that looks really cute with dresses? A black cardigan with pearlized buttons that looks beautiful with a sexy silver blouse for the holiday parties?

Black blazers. Is it a fitted black blazer that works best for church and funerals?
Is it a swingy black blazer with fun buttons that looks great with jeans and a colorful blouse and boots?
Is it a black cotton blazer with a a bit of spandex that travels brilliantly and never wrinkles?
Is it a black blazer with a military cut and brass buttons that gives me a bit of a spiritual dominatrix look?
Is it my most special fitted black blazer with the stunning jet buttons I brought back from Italy in 1996 and that I’m hoping will fit me again since I’m losing weight?

Black skirts. Long, short, mid-length. Knee-length, business casual. Knee length, cotton and summery. Etc., etc., etc.

Everything in your closet has a function. It contributes to a look you want to create and an impression you want to make. There is no virtue in having a closet full of garments that all look completely unrelated to each other. If you know yourself, you should have a color palette you mostly stay within, an understanding of the way certain cuts and fabrics work for you or against you, and an intimate knowledge of each and every garment hanging in your wardrobe. I own many black shirts but I know why each and every one of them has earned a place in my wardrobe, and I know just how I use them in various outfits. The smocky black top with the empire waist that I wore to the office today with a turquoise cardigan, a huge Mexican necklace, jeans and big clunky winter boots bears no resemblance to the tailored black top I will wear next week with a plaid blazer, pearls and suede boots.

A rose is a rose is a rose. But a black top is never just a black top.

Ta, cookies.