Category: Pastoral Fashion Emergency, Or “PeaceBang, Help!”

A lovely and cosmetically-conscientious reader says,

“Hello Peacebang!

Big problem for a chalice bearer and future Episcopal deacon. Lipstick on the chalice at communion is a nasty thing, and shouldn’t be put there by someone who has to wipe it off! What’s a good lipstick that will adhere to the lips and not come off on the chalice? I’ve been doing without on Sunday but now that I’m fiftysomething and rather white-haired, I could use a little more color.
Thanks from a fan.
peace,M.”

Dear M,

Oh, ewww! I hadn’t thought about the problem of lipstick residue on the Communion chalice, but you’re good to bring it to my attention.

PeaceBang is a huge fan of CoverGirl Outlast All Day Lip Color in Blush Pearl and wears it every Sunday to church. Any of the CoverGirl Outlast All Day colors are good, since the moisturizing topcoat is no very emollient but not gooey.

I often wear it with another lipcolor on top, but it works great on its own.

Let us know how it works!
Kiss of peace to you!

Dearests,

I pause in the middle of the day to post this burning questions about vestments because I am
aware that some of you have evening services and this might help you, too:

Dear PeaceBang,

I just finished an Ash Wednesday service and had an unexpected problem with my vestments.

I know you tend to focus on what we wear under our vestments, but I imagine you or one of your readers might be able to help me out.I have one of those gorgie Guatemalan woven stoles in purple which I love to break out for Advent and Lent.

The problem is that its one long piece of tapestry, about 6″ wide, with no stitching or darts or anything to help it lay neatly around my shoulders and behind my neck.

I’ve tried folding the middle part a bit so it could sit flat against the back of my neck, but it looks a little silly. I’ve also tried the trick of letting it go really loose, not letting the center touch the back of my neck, making it look like a hood back there. I hate being preoccupied with these things during church and Lord knows I can’t go about fussing with it once I’m up there.

Any suggestions on how to wear it or how to fix it so it looks neater?Thanks, and keep up the good work, Chick Pea.

-Mamacita

Dear Mamacita,

Did you just call me “Chick Pea?” How cute are you?

Well, about one thing you are certainly correct: you cannot go fussing around with your stole once you’re up there.

As for the rest, this is a tough question, and I would think that a good seamstress might be consulted before you wear this stole again.

Readers, what say you?

I got this breathless inquiry from a reader north of the border:

I’m precandidating with a search committee this weekend (pray for me please). But I’m having an urgent fashion question. I am going to be wearing a blazer or sportscoat while I’m socializing and dining with the committee, as well as during the interview. Do I keep the jacket on while eating at the table? Do I remove it?(In the past, with congregants, I’ve kept it on but want to make sure I do the right thing with this search committee! Will I look stuffy? Too casual if I cast it off and sling it on the back of my chair?)Help! Yours, PPTC

My dear and lovely PPTC,

First of all, mazel tov on precandidating!! What a wonderful opportunity, and may you and the search committee fall in that special kind of love that every minister wants to feel with a search committee (so different from the kind of love that a flamenco dancer feels for a good-looking matador, but still very special).

As I seriously ponder your question, this comes to mind: You must not get soup on your cuffs.

You only have this one jacket and you only have this once chance to make an impression. So why not wear a V-necked sweater over the shirt for dinner, tuck the tie into the sweater, and if it’s a casual-enough restaurant, take off your jacket with an air of confident boldness and say, “It’s nice and warm in here. How lovely to get in out of the cold. May I take anyone’s coat?” There. You’ve just gotten rid of your own jacket, and you’ve modeled good manners and servant leadership. Hanging up some of the search committee’s coats will give you a moment to yourself, and best of all, no soup on your jacket or tie.

Let us know how it goes. And gentlemen readers, if I’ve made a gaffe here, I do hope you’ll write in immediately and remedy the situation.

Much love and many blessings,
PeaceBang

P.S. You weren’t going to go with Valentine’s Day colors or anything, were you? DON’T!!

::::cackle, cackle:::

Remember how you had all those questions about what to wear on your hospital visits during your Clinical Pastoral training?

Just get a gander of the beneficent heiress Paris Hilton making the rounds at a children’s hospital in Sydney. What you can’t see is that the jeans are cuffed up to mid-calf length, and she’s wearing open-toed white slingbacks with a 4″ cork heel.

Aside from those details, you know what else really works about this look? The bare shoulders and the Heidi braids and the little insouciant white bow in the hair. Nothing says, “I’m here and I care” like braids and a bow.

Let’s ordain her RIGHT NOW.
Because she is so totally called to this work.