Darlings, you can imagine what a kick PeaceBang got from this letter:
I just got back from a trip to ___________. My parish gave me a gift of $200 to spend there. What they know is that I bought a kicky skirt (gold, knee length, silk, looks great with a black clergy shirt). What they don’t know is that I bought Exciting Undergarments!
I cannot believe the different this has made to my self-esteem. Nothing outrageous, but certainly feminine and very attractive, though only beknownst to me.
I can’t remember seeing much in the blog about foundation garments; perhaps you have opinions about same?
Dear Rev. Sexy Underwear,
You are just cracking PeaceBang up!! But really, you’ve raised some serious issues so let’s have a little discush, shall we?
First of all, we have indeed talked at length about foundational undergarments on this blog. It’s all in the archives, so do have fun with that. You’ll probably find what you need under “Accessories” or even “Women’s Clothes.” We have discussed the importance of well-fitting bras, for one, but to my knowledge we have never dared go where you are going, which is to admit that it’s FUN to be a girl and to wear lovely lingerie!
And it is!
Why wouldn’t it raise one’s self-esteem to know that we’re wearing something beautiful, whether seen or unseen by the public? I, for instance, don’t necessarily wear perfume for other people. I wear it for ME, sweethearts, because it makes me happy. I spritz it on before bed, too, and ain’t no one in that bed to smell me except the cat.
But I’m going to say something quite serious now, and although you may squeal with laughter I mean it quite sincerely: watch it with the naughty undies. BECAUSE, if you’re going around with a black leather thong or a killer pair or thigh-highs with a garter belt so that you can feel tough and treacherous and femme fatale-y behind your gracious pastoral exterior, we’re starting to get into some issues( pronounced, “isssss-yoos” in this case). So PeaceBang would have to ask you if you were that kind of gal or guy: when you don your sassy skivvies, are you doing so in a spirit of anger and rebellion? If so, bring it to your therapist, spiritual director, or close colleagues. Compartmentalizing is not healthy and leads to a lot of very destructive acting out. HOWEVAH, if you’re climbing into some especially gorgeous or thrilling underoos because it’s fun, because you’re a sexual human being and you’re celebrating that, because God gave us eros as well as agape, rock on! Enjoie ! Get out there and sing “I Enjoy Being a Girl” while you drive to work (Lord, what a dreadful song!) and give yourself the treat.
Dear Writer-Inner, I love, love, love the fact that your congregation gave you a gift to spend on your vacation. That is so right and so loving, and what it means is that their blessing of you is actually in those Exciting Undergarments (er, that doesn’t sound quite right, but you know what I mean). It reminds me of the time I planned a trip to Mexico and my Parish Committee Chair approached me at coffee hour and pressed a neat pile of $10’s and $20’s into my hand. Grinning, he said, “We took up a margarita collection. Have fun and come back tan and well-rested, will you?”
I was incredibly touched, dear readers, and not only did I eat and drink well on that money, I did so in the sure knowledge that I had my congregation’s blessing to be on vacation. Such expressions of care and support go a long way, as you know. So here’s to that church and here’s to their pastor, and here’s to clothing ourselves in beauty on every level, inside and out!!
My good friend from seminary was recently ordained. As a present I gave her some sexy (though hopefully comfy) undies. I firmly believe we need a “solid and pretty” foundation as women ministers. Not to mention there are some pants and skirts that must be worn with a thong. This can be filed under the “things your mother never tells you, but you must know.”
A recent trip to the big city included a trip to Nordstrom’s lingerie department for a proper fitting of undergarments. Can I just say that I got more comments from people on my appearance in the weeks and MONTHS after that excursion than I have gotten in years? Properly fitting undergarments are, for me, an investment — I have a hard to fit body. But I will say that it is definitely money well spent and a huge boost to my appearance and self-confidence
A pitfall of wearing fancy, out-of-the-ordinary undergarments as a clergy person is that someone you don’t intend to see them will. We clergy bend over, our buttons come undone, flies sometimes don’t get zipped up, etc. I was just on a plane trip during which I realized I’d walked up the whole aisle with a button open on my shirt, revealing my bra to all onlookers! Thank goodness it was a basic black Maidenform. I would surely be embarrassed if something like that happened at church and a parishioner (or, gasp, parishionerS) saw a tiger-striped satin lace push-up bra! I’d much rather have conservative undergarments accidentally revealed.
I remember when I was first ordained and got my first pay cheque I went to buy lots of black undies to wear under my black clericals. I was standing in the queue when the woman in front of me kept peering into my basket. Eventually she said, “I never thought of clergy wearing such sexy underwear!” Why is black underwear thought of as sexy? I must admit I don’t feel it particularly – its just functional. Maybe I need to get something a bit more glam in purple.
One of the womens’ prayer groups had a “personal shower” for me when I got married. Mostly nightgowns but a couple of more risque things. It was a little wierd–the whole boundary thing–but they loved it and it was very fun and affirming.
I tend to wear black underwear with clericals, now that I think of it.
It’s not only clergy who are conservative on the outside and tigers underneath: My friend who works as an emergency room nurse says that the Amish women who come in to the hospital have absolutely CRAZY sexy underwear.
Hilarious, and so true! In my last year of seminary, we preacher-girls-to-be often discussed our need for outrageous underwear. It was probably some kind of rebellion, our last chance, so to speak.
But now, I find I need good-looking and comfortable underwear rather than outrageous. I need to know I look good, from the inside out, because it gives me some extra spine (and if I, God forbid, should end up in ER, I want the nurses to go “I never thought a priest would wear such nice underwear. Wonder were she got it? Better heal her quickly, so we can ask.”).
Dear PB- and all- sorry, I am a middle aged, second career seminarian- and my favorite pair of undies was a 3 pack of granny panties I got at the dollar store- if Im going to sit so much, hike so many hopsital hallways and haul myself out of teh car on pastoral visits so many times in a week, I want comfort, not style…I do have to say, tho, that gravity has not been my friend- so when I ever get regular paychecks (post seminary) I will go and get properly fitted for la brasiere….and, oh, does anybody have a good lead on camisole to be worn under white blouses? Im talking the kind you wear over your bra so it doesn’t show…..be well-
I want to hear more about the Amish women wearing these crazy underthings!
PeaceBang,
I left to a comment to your comment, and I made some additions to my post, because you’re right, it was misleading and unfair, and Christian charity obliges me to say that. Thanks for stopping by.
BTW, I have to admit a morbid curiosity of mine, although still an honest question. Do traditionally-minded, high-church Anglican female priests wear cassocks? How about traditional vestments, such as ornate Gothic or fiddleback chasubles, with the lacy Baroque albs and surplices? Or birettas and maniples, even? The heritage of Christendom includes a vast assortment of rich and varied vestments; so much so that some people criticize the priests who wear these (usually Latin-Mass orders) as being too girly. But for some reason, whenever I see pictures of female priests, they wear the same old, modern-looking polyester stuff.
Anyway, if you ever do another article on clerical fashion, let me tell you this: there’s nothing more handsome than a priest in a well-tailored cassock. Extra points if he has a shoulder cape or a good sash to go with it. Hope this works: http://profile.ak.facebook.com/object/86/71/n2212232350_39532.jpg
:-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Jezebels.
I’m terribly late to the underthings-party, but I did want to add yet another possibility for those in the higher-church tradition: underwear which coordinates with the liturgical season. I, myself, get a great deal of fun out of this (especially on the Red Sundays).
It doesn’t work for Good Friday, just so you know. But otherwise it’s quite a good time.
Your blog is the best evidence I’ve ever seen why women should not be priests. I expect spiritual guidance from my pastor, not underwear tips. You are a bunch of clowns. [First of all, Will, I’m NOT a priest. I am the member of the Free Church tradition, where the faithful choose their ministers and ordain them, not a committee or a bishop. Isn’t that beautiful? But of course I don’t do the work of the ordained ministry. I’m too busy doling out fashion tips to the clergy, you see. So I haven’t prayed, preached, counseled, christened, memorialized the dead, advocated for the justice, supervised or supported staff, mentored student ministers, taught classes, or even shown up at the church for simply ages. Who has time? I’m out shoe shopping!! wahoo!! Will, you are such a paragon of Christian virtue. I am going to retire to my boudoir right now and weep for my sins, for you have shown me the errors of my way. How do you manage your perfection? Are you sure you’re not the Second Coming? For I feel in the presence of something very holy here, don’t you AGREE, readers? Don’t Will’s words just sting your conscience and fill you with the desire to follow this sour, humor and love-impaired self-appointed prophet in the ways of Christ? — PB]
PB-
Your sarcastic and venomous response is meant to espouse Christian values more clearly than Will’s…? It’s easier to be witty and cutting, but much harder to respond with patience and love.
Kerrie [Hey Kerrie, hate mail deserves a chastising response, firm, fast and funny. Why shouldn’t I mock someone so ridiculously hateful? Why should I be patient and loving when you’re there to do it for me? Which you were going to do, right? After you got done being a self-righteous nanny foo foo?
Whoever that guy is, he is most certainly sour, humorless and love-impaired. That’s not venom — it’s an honest assessment. My heart was pure when I wrote it, honey, I swear on a stack of Bibles. If Obnoxious Commenting Dude ever needs my help, food when he’s hungry, letters in prison, visits when he’s sick, or prayers, I will gladly grant those things. That’s what it means to be a Christian, not to sit around blowing kisses at people who take a crap in your yard and then tell you you have no right to live in your own home. As for sarcasm, if it was good enough for Mr. Jesus, it’s good enough for me. You need to read the whole Bible, not just the Pauline wedding readings and the tender shepherd parts. – PB ]