Dresses You Might Consider

When you want to passive-aggressively suggest that you need a mental health vacation:

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When your boobs need deserve their very own neon pink runway!
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When you’re afraid your shoulders will get too warm AND you want to gift wrap your boobs:
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When you want to serve up some sparkly Lenten realness on Good Friday, because otherwise, such a dreary day, amirite?
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When you’re like, “Christ is Risen and all I got was this flowers and birdies schmatta!”
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When you want to reassure everyone that they shouldn’t feel threatened by your graduate degrees and leadership experience cuz you’re really just there to make pipe cleaner ornaments with everyone:

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All these frocks courtesy of the good people at Eloquii.

5 Replies to “Dresses You Might Consider”

  1. Oh dear.

    #2 is so “Hi, the 1980s called and they wanted their blooper reel back.” Fuchsia and aqua and pleats AND ruffles? I have difficulty imagining anyone over the age of 3 that needs to wear pleats and ruffles at the same time.

    Also. Are you absolutely sure #5 isn’t supposed to be pajamas? It would make a lovely nightie. Or possibly casual wear over some leggings. It looks like it might be long enough to make leggings decent in polite company.

    I kind of like #4 but only because it’s made of glitter. I think I might oughtta get the glitter impulse out of my system before shopping for interview clothes. Because GLITTER.

  2. I had the same thought about nighties or pjs.

    #1 says, “I cook, but only on my right side, and this apron is perfect.”

  3. OK, I have to admit I find myself drawn to #2. A French film in the 90s (of course,) Ma Vie En Rose, hooked me on that color combo. But not for work–not with the ruffles AND the pleats AND the colors! Mayyybe those colors together on a structured sheath or A-line dress? I’ll sometimes do a fuschia scarf with a turquoise sweater and neutral bottom, which I feel is less threatening because, it’s ok, folks, it’s just a scarf. If it’s really hurting your eyes I can take it off. [Colors are great! They can work in so many ways! But there’s just too much going on with the dress and the placement of the color strip is weird.- PB]

  4. I hope the folks at Eloqui are laughing as hard as I laughed at this. If they aren’t they should be ashamed.

    Well actually, they should be ashamed anyway. [It’s like, WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH, ELOQUI? Granted, they seem to be designing for the much younger-than-I, but C’MON. – PB]

  5. I kind of love #4 (hides) NOT for clergying, obviously! But for a Christmas party when it’s cold and you want glitter and warmth? Or ice skating? [I”m NOT judging you. Just a little bit. But maybe you have a swan-like neck and can rock it? I’d love to see photos if you try! – PB]

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