You know why I’m laughing in this picture? Because I remembered, again, what SisterBang said to me when I last saw her. We were hanging out being slugs with our dogs in that special sibling way that sisters have– you know, showing each other stuff on YouTube and laughing, sharing shorthand insider jokes, cracking on each other, talking for our dogs.
And my sister, who is super beautiful and has girly mermaid hair and always has, looks at me with that appraising look that all sisters know SO well and she says, “Your hair is getting really long.” And I go, “I know! It’s so weird! I have all this hair now. It’s still so weird to me.” And she gazes at me with that piercing Weinstein artistic gaze that we have perfected over thousands of years of strong critical genes and she goes, with utter seriousness, “Well, what’s your plan? Do you have a hair plan?”
No, I do not have a hair plan, and I intend to tease my sister about this until the end of our days, because it was a hilarious comment.
The thing is, though, she’s absolutely right. If you don’t think about what you’re doing with your hair, it will just grow like a weed and every day you feel like you have to think about it (ie, every day you’re going to be doing anything professional or any day you want to look your best) it will spring itself on you like an unpleasant surprise: I AM YOUR HAIR. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH ME TODAY?
If you want to have hair that expresses something about you, or is somewhat current in its style, or is flattering rather than residing on top of your head like a napping muskrat (which is, I believe, Donald Trump’s official hairstyle: Napping Muskrat), you have to think strategically about it.
Do you want a new style? You’ll probably need to grow it out a bit so the barber or stylist can achieve what you want. You’d be surprised how much hair you need to work with to make style changes.
Do you want to do something cool with the color? Do your research (Pinterest is great for collecting examples of what you hope to achieve), and plan a few trips to the salon over a few months’ time to evolve it. Don’t expect the colorist to be able to bring you from brassy yellow to shining chestnut in one visit.
So you want to be able to do a hipster waxed mustache look? That will take some effort. Ask around and see how to best groom your ‘stache to work toward the look you want.
Growing a beard for the first time? How will you shape it? There are dozens of options. Which one will be flattering to your bone structure? Don’t be embarrassed that you’ll need grooming tips and new tools. You will need both.
Are you going to cut off all your dreads or take out a weave and have a drastically different look? Don’t do that without serious consideration. That’s a major change and can create emotional fall-out that you might not anticipate. Hair is deeply emotional and it can be exhilarating or devastating to cut it all off.
Are you transitioning from a short hair style to having actually long or long-ish hair? Don’t buy all the curling irons and products all at once. They’ll just sit around gathering dust.
Hair is such a communicator of personal style. It can work for you or very much against you. Hair is a conveyer of personality! What’s your hair plan for 2016?
Oh GAWD. “Hair plan.” You are killing me, PB.
For the last two or three years my hair plan has been “figure out what to do with all this hair.” And as you duly and truly note, if you don’t figure out what to do with your hair it just sort of keeps being there and growing (or falling out, as the case may be.) The advantage of having hopelessly grown-out hippie earth mama hair is that eventually it stops changing and just looks like that. It’s, uh, timeless or something. And it goes up into buns and twists very nicely.
Maybe this will be the year I figure out what to do with my hair that will be sensible and semi-professional and utterly low-maintenance AND also not look like my mother.
Here’s my hair plan: keep it EXACTLY the way it is. My hair is my best feature now (perhaps it always was); what’s below the neck is sagging and expanding somewhat alarmingly, but if I can keep people’s eyes on my face (not too bad) and my hair (good), maybe they won’t notice anything below the neck/jowels. I think the trick (at least at my age — 72) is to find a hair style that you really like and that isn’t too much trouble, and just keep it. I get it cut every 5 weeks by a good haircutter, wash it now and then, and that’s pretty much it.
I don’t say this to preen — there’s plenty about my looks that I’d like to change. It’s just that my hair isn’t on the list.
A hair plan. I’m feeling the lack of planning in so many areas of my life, personally and professionally, this makes me want to run away screaming.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Okay, back now. Actually, I can see the impact of living in overwhelm by looking at my hair – it shows up there. Flattened by my hat. Sticking up in funny places, like tufts above my ears. Thinner and straighter than my mental image of it. Not styled because I’ve decided to goof off on Facebook/answer e-mail (typed e-jail HA!)/just plain ignore it.
I have an appointment this Friday with Hair Magician Eraka. My husband is quite grumpy about how much I pay for her services – I think it’s time to make better use of them, and ask her opinion about such things.
Love your long hair, by the way, especially the blond tips.
I made a goal as a teenager that I would grow my hair out and donate it four times before I was mostly grey. I am 28 and the grey hair is coming in with a vengeance. My mom was mostly grey at the age of 40, and I seem to be following her footsteps. I donated for the second time in April 2013 (one month into my current call- 12 inches gone), and am currently working on number three. I went from a pixie cut in June 2014 to below the shoulder today. It’s been a great transition, but my congregation has been very supportive. When I visit a stylist every 4-6 months, I am always clear that my goal is growing my hair out. I need something that doesn’t need to be reshaped in 1-2 months, but rather something that can go a long time.
I realized just last week that my hair was long enough again to use ceramic rollers. These are my favorite way to do my longer hair. I shower in the evening so my hair is ready to style in the morning. I turn on the rollers first thing and make my tea. I then get dressed. By this time the rollers are hot enough and so I put them in my hair. I then take the time to brush my teeth, put on make up, and accessorize. By the time all of this is done, the curls are set and the rollers are ready to come out. Viola! Beautiful curls and it only adds 5 minutes to my already short routine.
For a few years I had a “Rosemary Baby” haircut, which I absolutely loved. And got a little bored with, so I’m growing it out. But my hair is fine and straight and unfortunately there is not much of a “hair plan,” I’d like my hair to look a little more intentional. 🙂
I’m still giggling hysterically at the Napping Muskrat comment…
I want to grow my very thick hair into a better hairstyle. My hair grows quickly and I am moving across the country soon, so will have one more clip with my current stylist then off to new horizons.
I’d my hair to be a bit longer, fuller, more grown-up. Pinterest is my friend.
LOVING your hair and that pic of you is GAWGOUS!
Thank you for your inspiration. You rock!
A Hair Plan! Well, of course!
Maybe we don’t plan it, but it does change as we make our way through the life cycle. Using myself as an example:
Fifth grade – asked my father if I could grow out my hair as an alternative to the backyard crew cuts he administered (he was pretty good at it too).
1978 – the moustache (so I would look “more mature”)
1984 – The great Graduate School Beard Experiment of Fall 1984, ended around January of 1985, because, upon review and evaluation, my beard does not grow in evenly and just looks sloppy, messy, and frightening, like I forgot that every day is not suitable for a Halloween costume.
2008? – After 30 years, I got rid of the moustache because it was graying faster than the rest of me.
2010 — Recession Buzz Cut (if interviewers were going to use age against me, they were going to have to work harder to count the gray).
You are very fortunate to have such a wise sister.
I have been blessed — BLESSED, I tell you– with truly, utterly, fabulous hair. It is dark brown with gold and auburn highlights, a loose natural wave, and a gentle widow’s peak (which is great with my heart-shaped face). The individual strands of hair are fine, but it is LEGION and therefore luscious and thick. My hair’s biggest challenge is its horrible owner. I am loathe to do anything high maintenance, and in my early twenties began admitting that to stylists which made life much easier– no more gorgeous styles I had no intention of keeping up with for my day-to-day life.
However, I struggle with a real Hair Plan. I feel like sometime in their forties people (or more accurately, women) finally Figure Out their hair and stick with it. Short and curly. Wavy and long. Straight bob. Bangs, no bangs.
The burden of beautiful hair is that I’ve had my hair long, shoulder length, ear length and most recently in a short pixie… and they all look good. For the past decade or so I’ve had this habit of growing my hair past my shoulders and then cutting it to ear/chin length, vacillating back and forth about whether I like it short or long. As I recently worked on my ministerial website, I realized that I had photos with a million different hair styles, and I really wish I had one Look. But I can’t decide which.
I feel like I need affirmation: is it okay (read: professional/adult/ministerial/etc.) to go between very different styles? This feels too stressful. Sigh.