Hi, darlings!
This won’t apply to people without ovaries, but I’d like to put it out there: how has it been being in ministry and going through THE CHANGE?
I am going through menopause right now, I think, and I don’t really notice much of anything. My mom had a really easy menopause so I guess I have her to thank. I don’t think I’ve had a real hot flash or anything, even.
A colleague wrote recently about a menopause-related weight gain and I started thinking about all the horror stories I’ve heard about hot flashes and mood swings and cravings and homicidal levels of frustration and middle aged acne and free-falling libidos and how my doctor is always like, “Well, you’re in PERIMENOPAUSE NOW” in a way that sounds like a cue for horror movie music to start thundering from an invisible organ and Vincent Price to pop into the examination room waggling his eyebrows.
One of my mentors told me that she had such bad hot flashes she would soak through her clothes and had to keep a whole separate wardrobe at home so she could change. Whoa!
So let’s get this party started. I find that my biggest symptom of menopause is a sense of fist pumping victory. I didn’t marry anyone I didn’t want to marry, date anyone I didn’t want to date, have any babies I felt ambivalent about having, deal with any unwanted pregnancies, or fight for access to birth control or health services or screenings for breast and cervical cancers. I feel extremely fortunate.
I have some grey hairs and I’ll be fifty in the middle of January. Let’s talk turkey about graduating to Crone-dom, Reverend Women!
Oh man (as it were…) Lucky You! I remember preaching (at age 54) and feeling the sweat literally running down my spine. I was concerned about splashing noises as it hit the floor, but apparently that didn’t happen. Now, at age 72, I seem to be among the 5% of women who NEVER stop having hot flashes. So count your blessings, dearie!
Menopause was pretty gentle on me. I’m 5 years out and the worst I had was some night sweats, but only when I probably had a few more blankets on the bed than I needed. I’m still a little oversensitive to being overly warmed than I was before, but it’s not even to the point of being annoying. Though I know its not this easy on many. Good luck.
Apparently leading worship is one of my hot flash triggers. And red wine. Although I’m on the far side of menopause, and the insomnia has stopped, both worship and wine will still trigger a hot flash.
And the weight gain – silly me, I thought it would be generalized weight gain. But no! It’s right around the midriff. The good news is the 15 pounds I put on this year didn’t mean I had to go up a size – which was weird and an issue to someone who monitors her weight largely by how her jeans fit! But now I have a monster muffin top!
Still, I wouldn’t go back. My periods were horrible and I’m glad to be free!
Menopause can be such a profound life change I am wondering if any of you have preached or touched on it in any way from the pulpit. I do not mean overshared your personal experience (as followers of PB none of us would ever make that mistake) but rather addressed it, mentioned it, incorporated it in any way.
Mine has not been the sweat-drenching variety thus far, but more and more, I get suddenly warm for no apparent reason. I’m incredibly grateful that my office has a ceiling fan, even into November. I have gotten up in meetings and switched it on without a word of explanation. (Easy for me to over-share.) I’ve had to say goodbye – or at least “see you in a few years if you’re still in style” – to many of my favorite wool sweaters and jackets. I’m now trying to create light layers, and things that still look finished and professional if you take off the top layer. I just posted a picture on Facebook, which I shall attempt to share here: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1207801895902570&set=a.514079001941533.139040.100000183129399&type=3
I had an easy time of it except for some night sweats and INSOMNIA, which my doctor finally acknowledged is a common complaint. The insomnia went on for a very long time. If I didn’t get to sleep before midnight I could count on being awake until 4 am. I used the wee hours of the morning to bond with one of our cats who was terrified of me during the day.
I have found more freedom and confidence in ministry and life in general since turning 50. Then one day I just stopped coloring my hair and let the gray shine through… Crone-dom is good, very good. May it be so with you.
My mother’s menopause lasted a long, LONG time and I’ve been “perimenopausal” since one ovary was removed at age 21. I’m now 47. Night sweats, insomnia (but usually it’s seasonal), moods are manageable and periods are still wonky. I have pared down my closet considerably. I wear clothes that are comfortable and have a few tailored pieces for when I need to don the “corporate” look in ministry. I’m happier than I’ve ever been and will occasionally make a comment while preaching “being a woman of a certain age” is a favoured phrase with ladies in my congregation, which I appropriate from time to time. Overall lurching into menopause is liberating in many ways. Not quite at the fist pump part, but getting closer. I’ve always admired the Crones in my life and I look forward to joining the ranks of Crone-dom.
Love your account of fist-pumping victory! Congratulations! I had a different set of “accomplishments” – most of which are the exact opposite of yours – but the feeling was/is the same. Menopause is a time of coming into one’s own. And, as for symptoms . . . nope. Didn’t have ’em. Suddenly, I was just free.
Anyone create or make use of your tradition’s ritual in marking this life passage? Willing to share what it was?
I’ve been lucky enough to have an easy time of it. A few night sweats, dealt with by tossinbg off the covers, very few hot flushes (which I’ve just sweated through!) and not a lot else EXCEPT I fairly frequently have days when I have a feeling of impending doom and total depression about the world situation (but maybe that’s not menopause, but just the fact the the world situatrion isn’t that good!) My mum has told me that she had similar feelings as she went through the menopause.
So my symptoms/experiences have been more mental than physical. There has been the odd twinge of regret that my “chance” to have children has passed – but those are very few. It was a decision made many moons ago, and we have never really regretted it. I’m not fist pumping, but am enjoying my “autumn” years – save for the arthritis. Sigh.
went to seminary at mid-life- which meant hot flashes/insomnia during seminary and searching for a call….now 6 years out, still have occasional night sweats/insomnia, but mostly when I eat junk- what has annoyed me greatly is the loss in skin tone/muscle tone/general hair thinning…..yikes. didn’t see that part of it coming.
I’d had terrible, horrible, ugly periods (heavy, unpredictable, etc) so had been on birth control until 50 to control them. Doc stopped them at 50 and THEY WERE GONE!!! But then came the mood swings and not sleeping. So we did some HR. . .which was okay for a couple of years, but then I had breakthru bleeding. So we stopped that. Now, seven years later, they are still gone, even tho my FSH bloodwork suggests that I am not menopausal. Go figure. Mood is fine. Sleeping is iffy. It depends on so many things. It takes nothing at all to make me hot, and after leading worship, even my head is sweating. In the winter, I make sure I have a cami on under whatever I am wearing so that I can take off the upper half before I robe. Then I am at least a little cooler. I am afraid that one is with me for the long haul. I still highlight my hair — it has no body if I don’t. . .and this way I can at least style it in some way. I am on medication to help with long-term weight loss (much needed) and have shed 55lbs in 18 months. Need to shed about 110 more. . .but that was all pre-memo! But at 57, I’m liking who I’ve become!