Dear and precious ones,
Take my hand, won’t you? Let us walk gently and kindly into the new year together — kindly but not in a way that ENABLES VERY BAD CHOICES LIKE PREACHING IN FOOTLESS TIGHTS.
I have spies everywhere, lovelies, and please understand that it is for the greater benefit of clergy image that one of you has been reported to PeaceBang for some sartorial tough love.
I do not know what state this outfit was reportedly seen in.
I do not know what conference or occasion.
I do not know the denomination of the preacher, although I know her to be from the Free Church tradition.
What was reported to me is that someone preached in a nautical striped shirt, a knee-length grey skirt, blue footless tights and black flats (not ballet flats, thank you, Uncle Jesus).
This sounds like a charming outfit if worn by a gaminesque creature such as Audrey Hepburn, who indeed was known for such ensembles.
For a clergyperson, this outfit has some fine components. A nautical shirt, for example, is a crisp and classic choice for a day at the office:
See how chic?
But oh no no no no NON we do not wear this to preach in. Why? WHY? Why this choice? I struggle to understand. What is one trying to communicate about oneself by preaching in a French fisherman’s Tshirt? Is it an oblique shout-out to the disciples? Too subtle. If so, then go all the way and drape yourself with fishing net. COMMIT TO THE REFERENCE.
A grey skirt, perfectly fine. Voila. Regardez.
Could be a perfectly fine garment to preach in. No problems there.
BUT. But. But, oh. With FOOTLESS TIGHTS and FLATS?
STOP!
Hey, it’s okay to have an Audrey Hepburn fantasy. Many of my best friends growing up wanted to be Audrey riding behind Cary Grant on a Vespa through the streets of Rome. They eventually bought themselves berets and got on with life. Sure, on a nice spring day they might bring out the classic boatneck striped T and roll the cuffs of their chinos and wear ballet flats (gals) or loafers (guys) and dream of Cary, but they don’t preach that way.
Unless you are a working mime, it is never okay to preach in (visible) footless tights.
Understood? Good!
Now I have a terrible craving to ride a Vespa around Rome.
Do you have a post on keeping hair out of one’s eyes. All of it is pulled back but the front falls over her left eye. Very crazy making for the old ladies in the congregation.
I have two thoughts on this – my first thought concerns the weather and my second concerns height and weight. I do agree on the sailor top, although I can’t entirely tell why.
However, in some parts of the country it gets really really cold. If the temperature is minus ten or minus 20 any leg is really silly. And for short heavy women there may not be footed tights that will fit. Just a thought. My inclination for such weather would be trousers (with long underwear under them and warm socks.)
[That was kind of you but there are tights in very large sizes, and there’s always trousers and socks for warmth. If it was cold, though, the footless tights would be an even sillier choice, right? Because why would you have inches of flesh exposed? You’d be wearing boots. This was not in a cold climate. – PB]
Have you seen this?
http://www.yummymummyclub.ca/blogs/ali-martell-straight-up-with-a-twist/i-am-the-leggings-police-i-even-have-a-badge
As much as I adore Cary Grant, I also swoon over Gregory Peck–and it was lucky Gregory who rode the Vespa with Audrey Hepburn in Rome. I think I’ll go watch Roman Holiday again and pretend that it’s spring. [Oh no! Bad PB! – PB]