You want to know what makes PeaceBang really upset and cranky and sometimes just plain furious? Well, she’s going to tell you, of course, so pull up a tuffet and get a cup of tea.
Look. We are heirs and stewards of ancient rituals, and there is a power and majesty in those rituals that can only be maintained when the people leading them are mature and responsible in their work. Too often, this maturity is jettisoned in favor of sloppy bonhomie, as if it’s uncool to take church too seriously, you know, because someone might get the impression that religion matters to us.
It just fries my grummies when I attend a rite of passage where the clergy or lay leaders are stumbling around not knowing where to stand or how to use a mic, or kidding around and making snarky or insecure asides in front of the congregation. LEAVE IT FOR THE REHEARSAL (if there is one — and it’s not a bad idea for complicated services). Keep it in the shower at home. It’s not funny, it’s not sexy, and it doesn’t make you seem cool, it makes you seem sloppy and foolish. God kills a kitten every time a minister gets up during, say, an ordination and interrupts the flow of the service with a sarcastic aside. How dare you inject the contents of your neurotic, chattering mind into the consciousness of those who are there to faithfully worship?
There is no excuse for this!
Boy, PeaceBang is really working up a froth, can you tell?
If you are the clergyperson responsible for these worship services, please put on your Authority Pants as you plan. Communicate to each and every participant the expectation that decorum will be observed on this occasion. Who cares if they think you’re an uptight control freak? You’re not there to win Miss Liturgical Popularity, your job is to ensure that the worship service is beautiful, coherent, well-paced, and dignified.
This doesn’t mean that no one can smile or laugh or be relaxed. It means that they be absolutely prepared to know where to stand, where and when to speak, to come with remarks or prayers or ordinances prepared and internalized so there is no fumbling around which leads to embarrassment, which leads to diarrhea of the mouth, which leads to disrupting the service and undermining the spiritual intensity of the event.
If the stole goes on crooked while you’re putting it over the ordinand’s head, straighten it out in silence. If the water for the baptism splashes on the floor a bit, don’t joke about going swimming later. If the groom sneezes three times in succession, that is not your cue to turn to the congregation and make a big haw-haw about Ebola, or some other “look at me” joke. You may smile broadly, you may chuckle a moment as you hand him a handkerchief, but you do not break character and you do not destroy the moment out of discomfort.
If you study liturgy well (and newbies, this is especially for you), you will find that there are natural and comfortable places of transition during which you may handle things a bit more lightly (inviting the ordinand to the pulpit to receive the Charge To the Minister, for instance), but there is never an appropriate time for uttering distracted little asides about the darned lapel mic that won’t stay clipped to your stole (hold it with your hand and keep mum about the technical difficulties) or quippy little murmurings about how out of breath you are from walking up to the chancel. One of the major problems with these asides, apart from the fact that they are distracting and inappropriate and damaging to the integrity of ritual, is that they are never well-enough enunciated for everyone to hear you. So in addition to puncturing the balloon being held aloft by the Holy Spirit, you have just caused at least one third of those present to mutter to the person sitting next to them, “WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?”
Manage the moment, moment to moment.
Manage and govern yourself.
If it’s your service to plan and lead, make it your strict business to communicate explicit instructions and expectations to every participant so as to minimize or totally avoid sloppy, distracting asides.
And make sure your Authority Pants are ironed and hemmed to the appropriate length.
Amen, amen, and amen! Among the guiding principles when leading worship/rituals: It’s not about you.
In my preaching classes at Meadville Lombard, David Bumbaugh, told us, “Never apologize for what you say and never show them the scaffolding behind the set”! I remember this often and find myself uneasy when others don’t. PREACH it sister!!
Nice! I’m not a minister, but I am a performer and a congregant so I agree from both sides of the ‘stage’. I think the only place for cute remarks might be with a screaming baby during a baptism, but only a brief one and it needs to be clear enough for everyone to hear.
And to Elenaorjane above, I would say that the best words for the minister to say in the congregational presence of a screaming baby are these, “Sweeter to the ears of God are the cries of a babe than the snores of a saint.”
So much could also be said about how younger and less experienced professors and graduate student-teachers yield and abdicate authority in the classroom or at the podium during conferences.
Thank you for this. As a part of a well established tradition, it is important to me that everyone I work with is up to date and trained. Every year we have a refresher where we talk about where things go, and what they are called.
As I say with my servers, we take this seriously, and we are mindful in everything we do. If you drop a wafer or spill wine, deal with it but don’t draw attention to yourself. None of us is perfect, but if we are prepared we can better deal with those instances that pop up. Mindfulness is the key word.
I have been with my congregation for 7 years and in that time my style of worship has relaxed somewhat, but I am still fully aware of what is going on, what is going to happen next and who is leading which role. The ceremony exists for a reason, it is to be honoured and cherished.
There is no excuse for sloppy liturgy. Practice in a mirror if you haven’t done so for a while. ALWAYS rehearse special occasions such as baptism and marriage. NEVER draw attention to yourself. It’s about God, not about you.
Thank you for this reminder.
I agree wholeheartedly. I’d only add that as we lead with decorum and reverence we never lose the spirit of gracious hospitality as well. Sometimes worship leaders with a strong sense of decorum and reverence in liturgy forget to embody the grace that is equally important.
Completely agreed! My UU church (Unity Unitarian St Paul) is generally good at putting on a smoothly run service, and deals pretty gracefully with odd things that pop up. But I’ve been to more than a few clumsily performed Pagan ritual- rehearsal, and getting good at public speaking are very important. And even if you want to have a more light-hearted or irreverent celebration- a Discordian ritual or a Sunday Assembly perhaps- you still need to have a plan! (I’ve also been to well-done Pagan rituals!)
AMEN!
Appropriate length? http://shfwire.com/sites/default/files/images/Copy%20of%20IMG_7761.JPG
I see this shot of Nina Totenberg almost every time she is on TV.
Yes, thank you PB. We are so fortunate to be called as the ones that lead people to God; we are not the reason people come to church. If we lead worship well, then maybe they’ll come back. If we become the stand-up comic then the focus of worship is weakened and the opportunity to develop a strong Spirit-infused community falls away. The cult of personality rarely lasts very long. [Good to hear from you, Dan! – PB]