Early Morning At Logan Airport

Pigeons, I just had to share this with you.

I was at Logan Airport *wicked* early last week, getting through security with all the other half-asleep travelers. So I plunk all my stuff on the conveyer belt and take off my jacket and shoes and such, and I’m standing there waiting to go through the “Woo Hoo, You Can See Me Nekkid” disco box when a female TSA officer asks me if she can frisk me (she calls it something like a “mid-section pat down”). Sure, lady, whatever. That’s just fat in there, nothing exciting. She gets to my front pocket and pulls out a lipstick. “What is this?” she asks. Because we’re supposed to have emptied our pockets.

And I go, “That’s Christian Dior Lip Addict in Hollywood Rose.” She looks at me with an expression that, were I to interpret it, would go something like, “You are either the biggest idiot in the world or maybe just crazy. And yet I have a strange respect for your insanity.” She waves me through.

Well, she ASKED.

6 Replies to “Early Morning At Logan Airport”

  1. Brilliant! I would only have managed, “lipstick” and I may or may not have been able to refrain from adding, “duh.”

  2. You just gave me the BEST start to the day. I’m making a complicated trip next month and your example will help me keep my cool, and perhaps just the *tiniest* bit of attitude to endure. Blessings, PB. We hope the trip healed you in soul, body and spirit and that you are better equipped for ministry through the rest of Lent.

  3. Reminds me of that line from “Men in Black” : “No, ma’am We at the FBI do not have a sense of humor we’re aware of. ”

    Thanks for starting my rainy, grey (at least it’s not snow) day with a giggle!

  4. I also travelled last week. A collapsible cane was stolen from my luggage enroute. It was in the outside pocket of my bag. Today in the paper I read that a number of baggage handlers at LAX had been arrested for stealing all the time from luggage. My daughter who travels regularly says it helps to buy TSA approved locks. They are cheap at CVS etc. You have the key but the TSA can open them as well. So you may still experience theft but the locks will slow down thievery and maybe prevent it. Meantime put nothing in your checked luggage, even cheap jewelry, which will tempt baggage handlers to open your bag. And if possible travel with only what can be stowed under the seat or in the overhead. You have 24 hours to report a theft.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *