So you were watching the Oscars last night and you were like, “Oh my gosh, I had NO IDEA Jesus Christ was up for Best Supporting Actor!” And then he WON, and you were like, “Oh my gosh, I’m so PLEASED for Jesus Christ, who has just won Best Supporting Actor in a motion picture! Congratulations, Jesus!”
As Jesus went on to thank his mother and other people, your mind wandered a little bit and you thought to yourself, “I really like Jesus’ hair, like how it’s all dark brown and then kind of fades out to that nice blonde at the bottom. I wonder how I can get my hair to do that without having to dye it and let it grow out for like 35 months? I wonder if PeaceBang can help me with that?”
OF COURSE I CAN, silly! Just go to your friendly local salon and ask them if they do balayage technique. It’s a French method for highlighting that allows you to brush big sections of hair rather than to paint in one small section at a time as you do in foiling.
Here’s another movie star with balayage highlights. Pretty, huh?
You know I can never get with the white-guy-with-blondy-brown-hair-looks-like-jesus thing. Because. White supremacist cultural ideals colonizing Christianity and everything else. Jared Leto looked fab to me. I loved the cream jacket, red tie and RUBY shirt studs. Like his hair too. When I grow out all this red I might have an ombre phase too.
He had ruby shirt studs!? I missed that! The white boy Jesus thing is my favorite (sarcasm font). I refer to him as “The Breck Girl Jesus.”
Waiting for the Photoshop people to put this hairstyle on Justin Bieber.
This is my hair for most of the year. It’s called “I’m not going to pay $100 for highlights anymore especially when I can get the same effect by dabbing 4% peroxide on some strands.” This is what you look like after 6 months. By month 12, you cave and get the highlights (“a foil”) done again.