Let’s run down the list, doll babies:
Smocking across the bazoom. Too child-like for the small-breasted gal and an engraved invitation to Stare At My Boobage for the average or larger-chested dames. Save them for your summer cottage getaways:
Slub cotton garments. This is a tricky one, because there is nothing inherently wrong with slub cotton, as this handsome chap in the peach slub sweater will illustrate. The issue with slub is that in its cheaper versions, it is hideously ugly, practically transparent, almost always cut in generous and sloppy styles, and stretches out within seconds of putting it on. Unless you’re in one of the finer clothiers, avoid slub (and that especially goes for catalogue shopping!):
Asymmetrical skirts. Not unless you’re giving cha-cha lessons in the parish hall immediately following the service. They’re always tacky, they’re never professional. Smoke ’em if you’ve got ’em — and by that I mean you should literally burn those nasty suckas:
Sequins. Pictured below is one of the prettiest sequined tops I could find because I am not a Sequin Hater and in fact own a few sequined tops myself. However, the time to wear sequins is when one is singing in a nightclub, not at any function related to religious life. Sequins and glitter have no place in a clergy wardrobe unless one is serving as chaplain of Dollywood.
‘To everything there is a time…..’ The time for handkerchief hemmed skirts is the evening. They are nice with sequinned tops, and they are professional wear– if you are a nightclub singer.
What the heck is slub cotton?
You are so right.
you forgot leggings [OH GIRL, YOU DITINT. – PB]
Well, dammit. There goes my slub cotton asymmetrical mini and sequin smocking, which I was going to use next time I preside at Communion. [AW DANG. – PB]
“Sequins and glitter have no place in a clergy wardrobe unless one is…”
…presiding at an Elvis themed wedding in Las Vegas? [Okay, you totally p’owned me right there. – PB]
Sequins and glitter have not place in a clergy wardrobe unless one is….
marching in the Pride Parade?
Chaplain at Dollywood – my newest professional aspiration!
I’m making you a slub cotton stole with sequined rainbows on it and an asymmetrical hem and I am planning to be VERY OFFENDED if you do not wear it.
I don’t know what slub cotton is either like several other posters. Could someone explain what it is so I can avoid it?
Slub cotton thread contains thick “flaws” that gives the fabric a nubby finish.
Kira beat me to it. If Chaplain at Dollywood is a thing, how do I become that?
Also, I’ve always avoided slub cotton because of the name. Who wants to look like a slub?