We live so deep sometimes, cupcakes, it’s hard not to get all muddy down there. I am myself so tired of my own sensitivity, intensity and spiritual depth right now that I am just sick of myself! I am so glad that I’m going line dancing on Thursday night with a group of 20-something cowgirls, and hosting a dinner party on Friday night for a gal I don’t know very well but who has impressed me so much this year that I wanted to celebrate her in some way. I contacted her via Facebook and said, “Jen, you have won my Most Interesting Person of 2011 Award. I want to throw you a dinner party to encourage you to keep being you.” Thank God she thought that was a cool idea instead of a weird, stalkerish one. As far as I’m concerned, if you want to stay inspired in life, turn your eyes to the young ‘uns who are shining a strong light and plug into them. I don’t think I know anyone who’s coming to this dinner party at my house, but I’ll happily cook and clean and prepare in the hopes that it will be a fun night of celebration and inspiration. Maybe I’ll make a few new friends. At the very least I’ll have a good meal.
God is deep and God is real, but lately Vicki has been too deep and sensitive and she needs to let God run the world for awhile. It is such a huge mistake to confuse intensity with faithfulness, and it is when I hit these self-irritated times that I remember that the Sovereign God of justice and love also made silly, purely lovely things like beagles and baby owls and ladybugs and palm trees.
Today I wore a big butterfly necklace to make myself smile. I think I’ll change into purple cowboy boots later. It might be the kind of week to add some shocking pink to my all-black ensembles, or to wear some turquoise eye shadow.
But above all, it’s time to let go and let God, as they say in the 12-Step community.
Louisville Seminary pigeons, I am holding you all in the chocolate. Best of luck and blessings on your ordination exams, you hot little Presbies.
What a wonderful post! And I love that you are randomly holding a dinner party for someone just because you want to celebrate her. That is fantastic. [Hi Katherine! Your name made me giggle. Hugs – PB]
I agree with KFNZWINAM. Such a cool idea to celebrate someone. And, depending on your day, maybe it’s time to wear the purple cowboy boots to work with your lovely black outfit. (And of course, I’d take a pair of black pumps in case of an emergency hospital visit or something.)
I love this – both the idea in general and the fact that you’re doing it.
And the purple boots.
Puppies, by the way, are just the thing when you’ve been spending too much time with issues of theodicy. I imagine a beagle might have a similar effect.