Beauty Tips for Ministers

“The Priestess Bride”

December 22, 2009 on 1:07 pm | In Pastoral Fashion Emergency, Or "PeaceBang, Help!" | 6 Comments

Our blushing bride/priest writes,

Message: What to wear to a Church Event where I’m not there as the priest…*sigh*

The Good: I’m getting married in February! Yay.

The Bad: We are getting married at the church where I am the priest. It is good, but it makes the fishbowl that much bigger.

The Ugly: There’s an event coming up in January where the parish is feting my beloved and I. Normally I’d wear something like a skirt and clerical shirt, but for this event, I’d like to wear a dress with no clerics. Is that okay?

Many thanks and Christmas Blessings.

PeaceBang responded,

YAY!!! YAY! YAY!!!
Girl, don’t you DARE worry about looking anything like a priest on these occasions. You just be a pretty bride and absolutely have a wonderful time.

All clear on that? When your nuptials are happening at your own church, you just go ahead and be the blushing bride and leave the collar at home in the closet where it belongs. Okay?
All good blessings to Andrea and her beloved for a beautiful wedding and a happy, healthy and long marriage.

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1. Congratulations! May I echo PB’s advice? A little more than a year ago, I too was married at the church where I serve. Now, we are UCC, so clericals are not nearly de rigueur at church events as I am sure they are in your tradition. HOWEVER, while they are celebrating their priest getting married, you are not there in a priestly capacity – no clericals!!!

   If I may make one suggestion (though one thinks I hardly need to): when you choose your wedding dress, please be appropriately mindful of things such as cleavage and behinds. A little emphasis is okay if it is tasteful – hoochie mama priest is not.

   Even though you are a bride, many of the people at the service will be seeing you in a dual role. That’s okay, but do be aware of that. (My breasts happen to be a terrific asset of mine, and my dress flattered them in a very classically appropriate way, so I looked -and felt – very beautiful [I'm usually more on the "cute" or maybe "pretty" side], but was not embarrassed to be seen by my 80+ year-old parishioners.)

   Once again, congratulations!

   Comment by LiturgyGeek — December 22, 2009 #

2. I echo all the advice – you’re the bride, not the priest, on those celebratory days. I got married five years ago and it was TONS of fun to have parishioners at the wedding. (Dancing to “Love Shack” next to an older couple from church is one of my favorite memories of the night.)

   The opening of the bridal shower gift of lingerie in front of 92 lady parishioners: not such a good memory. (Funny, though.)

   Comment by Shalom — December 22, 2009 #

3. I hope you weren’t *really* considering wearing your clerics to your own wedding! Congratulations, and have a lovely day!

   Comment by K — December 23, 2009 #

4. Oh, I misunderstood! Have fun being a “normal gal” at your party, too.

   Comment by K — December 23, 2009 #

5. I think clergywomen who get married have two choices: elope and deal with trust issues, or Be the Bride. It is a weird situation in which to be. It gets weirder when you have kids, if you do. Wearing civvies while doing the bridal stuff helps make this distinction clearer, and it may well help some folk identify with you more (although it may freak some people out–transference is strange that way).

   Comment by madgebaby — December 27, 2009 #

6. Thanks everyone! The wedding was beautiful! I wore a lovely, long, brown dress. Had one comment that I should be wearing a long white dress to which I quipped “I wear a long white dress every Sunday, I thought, for my wedding, I’d try something different”.

   Comment by Andrea — March 13, 2010 #

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