One of the things I was thinking about when I wrote the previous post was how much women need to “change it up” when they have kids, and I forgot to talk about it! What made me think of it is that I just got the news that a cherished young colleague of mine is in the family way, which means that she’s going to be doing ministry and dealing with all the messiness of a newborn, and then a toddler, in her life.
As a non-mom, let me ask this: at what age do kids stop smearing your skirts, pants, jackets and general person with bodily fluids, whatever they’re eating, and general dirt?
So not only does this Rev. have to think about maternity wear, she needs to think about her new mother wardrobe, which I’m sure she will want to be:
1. Simple — not too many choices to take up valuable time.
2. WASHABLE.
3. Easy to move in — she’ll be doing lots more bending and picking up, holding and carrying her tot. She needs fabrics that can move with her and not rip or gap, or sneak down or up her body accidentally resulting in a Festival of Inappropriate Sharing.
4. Have pockets when possible, to keep the Scooby Snacks in (they’re GOOD! Have you tried them?)
Jersey dresses, cardigans, pull-on skirts that won’t trip her up but don’t drown her, cute flats, dark tops that don’t show spit-up, an easy but still-pretty hair-do, a nice shawl to throw on when the spit-up stain didn’t wash out (or to use for privacy during breastfeeding) — what else might Rev. Mama want to think about?
My son is two and a half. I found, when he was about nine months old, that I was tired of looking like a tired mommy machine at church all the time–putting on whatever clothes were easiest, clipping my hair up with a plastic clip, etc. I got a fun new haircut (short–I have fine hair, so five minutes of blow drying and I am set for the day–actually easier than long hair, which I did not believe before I tried it) and went to the local women’s thrift store to find dressier clothes. I think for me, the hair was the biggest change.
Congrats to your friend!
My kids are four and eight, and they still seem to slime me regularly. I’d save dry clean only for special occasions (except for wool sweaters which seem to come back pretty well). Jersey is great as is the Chico’s traveler stuff (J Jill has a similar line that’s a little less shiny but gets lint a little more)
WATCH YOUR POSTURE! Not only does it make you look and feel better, it will save you trouble down the road. Get fitted for a good bra and buy underwear that fits.
Invest in good looking real shoes that are very comfortable.
One more thing: sometimes cutting your hair is the right thing to do, but don’t rush into it while your pregnant or immediately post partum. It is one stable part of your look, and short hair on a rounder face can be distrurbing.
Oh yeah–do wear some makeup. This is a biggie, and it will help you feel and look so much better.
If your friend- or any other new mama, will be nursing, dresses are nearly impossible to nurse in. Tops and skirts or slacks, or blouses that unbutton work well, dresses, unless they’re designed for nursing,(and those I found tended to be frumpy) don’t work at all.
Light clothes show dirt and food, but tend to hide spit up stains, which show up greatly on dark clothing. (milk= white or yellowish stains.) Make sure if you need them, you wear nursing pads. I liked the Curity brand disposable ones, I found them less obvious than the cloth ones. Wet spots on the front of your shirt do not make one feel confident. Along those lines, always keep a neutral colored blazer or cardigan handy for camo purposes.
I’d also beware of low cut necklines. Babies do grab, especially when they see their food source. Festivals of Inappropriate Sharing can result.
The good news is, that my kids are 7 and 10 and I haven’t been slimed in many years (knock wood). Enjoy.
as the mom of a 2 1/2 and 4 year old–everything is right on here!!
I must say, though, that although lots of nursing wear is kind of frumpy, there are some good things at motherwear (www.motherwear.com). Also, twinsets are a nursing mom’s best friend–you can descretely nurse without showing off your new muffin-top.
No dry-clean stuff unless the kid is with a babysitter. Also, no long necklaces until the babe is a pre-schooler–ditto for long earrings.
I agree with Marcia post about spit up and dark clothing, but I have found that dark clothing is a bit easier to do an emergency “clean”. My kids are almost 5 and almost 2, I still get slimed on a regular basis.
As for breastfeeding I highly recommend Lily Padz. http://www.lilypadz.com They are comfortable and don’t alter your look, no laundry and they do an excellent job of stopping the leakage.
I’m not a minister, but when I need to look good I generally have a back up plan. I can’t tell you the number of times I am almost out the door in the morning and end up needing a quick change. I found that jackets help a lot and I don’t even think about putting those on until I am out of range of the kids.
I have to second the lilypadz! They work, they don’t make your breasts look lumpy weird and they don’t end up in the landfill either.
as far as nursing goes, the twinset is great. A nursing camisole under a regular shirt is great too–most of the nursing tops are hideous. A shawl is great if your baby will tolerate it (mine would not) and there’s a really cute wide brimmed hat that adds a bit of cover without covering baby’s face too much.
One warning about the lilypadz–some moms find that the nipple compression they use to stop leaking also decreases milk supply. This is more of a problem in the first 3-6 months, but if you notice a decrease that might be part of the deal.
Nursing camisoles are LIFESAVERS. You can wear them under sweaters, tops, whatever. Once you buy one, you can probably figure out how to make them. Since camis are ‘in’ under clothes, it helps. I also found bras that were not “nursing bras” but were easy to slip out of the way (a cami-style bra). Your endowment may vary, but I never could do the one-handed, wheres-the-mommy-juice clasp.
I actually used some of the “Travelsmith” clothes because they were tailored and yet washed like a dream. I had a mandarin styled shirt that covered mommy-belly nicely and looked nice with pants. Oh – and “Shout Wipes” in the purse to dab up slime on your clothes. They work great!
Accessories… you find what you can wear and what you can’t. I stuck to scarves over necklaces, and no dangling earrings. And nursing shawls? Ha. More like nursing flags. However, once they got used to a sling, that was easier.
Happy mothering!
gotta second the notion of dark clothing showing milky spitup. I was wearing a black blazer one Sunday and my Godson rubbed his spitty, snotty face on not one, but both shoulders. i took off the blazer before worship. so i guess I am saying wear layers LOL
Re: the age when a child no longer messes up things….I am waiting. Mine is 37! (but she’s always called me Rev. Mama!)
I’m delighted that there are helpful ideas here for those who must push against the stained glass ceiling.
But remember – new moms, seasoned moms, non-moms….many of the tips here apply. Layers, back-ups, wraps, and even a generic extra blazer or sweater or shell/ blouse hanging up in the office. And BTW – a small makeup repair kit, toothbrush & paste, etc…are great for those ‘gee I’d planned to run home before the potluck (or evening meeting or whatever.)
My kids are 17 months and 3 1/2. I’d add “wrinkle-free” to the list of “must haves” in a new mom wardrobe. I can count on one hand the number of times I have touched an iron since I brought #1 home from the hospital. It’s not because I wear wrinkled clothes; it’s because I only buy things that will come out of the dryer wrinkle-free. Eddie Bauer has some nice wrinkle-free, work-appropriate shirts.
I also bought my first dry-clean only pants in years at TARGET of all places this season. I was not looking for that, having had one too many pairs of pants ruined with snot, but that’s what happens when you don’t read the label when trying things on. I was in Target, though. I didn’t know they HAD dry clean only.
Anyway, now I’m thankful, because it means my pants look nice, they get cleaned and I don’t have to wash them, and I feel just a little more like a grown-up again.
My kids are past the spit-up stage, but sticky fingers abound in the morning. I just wear my pj pants until the moment before we walk about the door, and then try not to feel bad as I screech “Don’t touch Mommy’s pants!” when they give me hugs at daycare. (Not really, but sometimes it’s close.)
I, too, was a nursing mom with both of my children – the first for a year, the second for 14 months. I never bothered with nursing clothes because I had a horrible time trying to find ones that fit me nicely. I liked the motherwear catalog, but I HATED shopping that way because nothing ever seemed to fit well, and then I had to mail it back. Blah blah blah. My kids didn’t do blankets either, and frankly I found it easier and less noticeable to just nurse them with what I had on, keeping all important parts covered. It was WAY more important to me to keep the aforementioned “muffin top” covered than my boobs. That was the offensive part! A receiving blanket tucked underneath baby and my arm worked great for that and keeping spit ups off my nice pants!
When possible I pumped for milk to be used on Sunday mornings to avoid that, but, well, sometimes that just wasn’t an option. You gotta do what you gotta do. If I needed “to do” I’d usually find a sympathetic group of moms/ladies around which to nurse and share my coffee. Hiding in my office for 20-30 minutes wasn’t an option when I needed to be “working”.
This church new what it was getting when it got me this year. My son was not even 2 months old when I came to interview here. It has been a welcoming, encouraging community in which to pastor and mother!