Darlings?
May we talk for just a wee moment? I know it’s the Monday after Easter and you’re weary. I, too. And yet I feel the urgent need to say this before someone else gets it into his or her head to adorn his or her cassock with a big butterfly pin or something: WE DO NOT WEAR PERSONAL JEWELRY ON OUR VESTMENTS. EVER.
I will now pick my jaw up off the floor where it fell last night when I heard that a lovely seminarian adorned her robe with a large broach on Easter Sunday, and wish you all a beautiful and blessed day.
I had to nix big hats with vestments this year – a chalice bearer asked…
Reminds me of those kindly brides who got me a boutonniere . . . .
Sometimes I wish my denomination used vestments and robes…mostly because I think it would be really fun to wear things like that.
Peacebang… what do you think about chalice necklaces and the like with vestments? I rarely wear my robes at all, and I have never worn chalice jewlery with it, but I have seen it done by some, and wondered your thoughts… [David, many UUs wear chalice pendants the way Christians would wear a pectoral cross, and as long as the symbol is large enough to be seen and read to the last row of the sanctuary, it’s entirely appropriate. I think a chalice pendant AND a stole is too much, though. It’s what I call “Chalice Overkill” — like when women UU mins wear chalice necklace, earrings and stole all at once. AUGH, Spirit of Life, help! – PB]
I can think of one exception to this rule – victorian style “hat pins” (like a really big stick pin) in the correct liturgical color used to keep a Byzantine style deacon’s stole in place. Much much nicer than constantly hitching the stole back onto your shoulder. [Oh yes. I’ve seen this and it’s wonderful. The pins need to be BIG, though. – PB]
How about bow ties with cassocks on choir members? (Very dapper, I’d say, though I couldn’t work up the courage to do it myself.) [Oh my! I’d have to see this to decide but my initial response is “how silly!” Does it really look dapper or are you just being your typically generous self? 😉 – PB]
Ooohh, PB, I hope it was a brooch and not a broach. The first is bad enough; the latter downright smacking of clergy misconduct! [Ooops! Did I spell that wrong? My bad! – PB]
My only exception to your sensible rule was one time when conducting the wedding of a personal friend. At the rehearsal dinner she had given me a small (nickle-sized) silver pin in the shape of a heart, and I pinned it onto my robe for the wedding the next day. Discreet (I think!) and a nice private way to say “thank you, I love you, too.” [I call that good instinct and very sweet. Also something that she would see on you during her wedding ceremony that would convey a bind beyond minister-bride. Again, not just a decorative item of personal jewelry to “pretty things up.”- PB]
I agree, except in one instance. I wear a cross every service with my alb. Most of them are of the pectoral type that are specifically intended to be worn with vestments. But one is a personal cross that I often wear for everyday. It is large enough to be seen, but is very simple and not of the diamond-encrusted variety. [I think the “large enough to be seen” is essential here. And it’s a CROSS, not a decorative pin. So that’s cool. – PB]
I will agree with you here, provided you agree with me that a pectoral cross is not an item of personal jewelry. It is itself a liturgical vestment. A chalice necklace would, it seems to me, serve the same function for non-Christian UUS. A Buddhist UU might with perfect justice wear a mandala, etc… [Abso-tootly. – PB]
PB, the bow tie under consideration was very dapper on the choir director, partly because it was small and very crisply tied, but my bow ties are too broad and floppy to have worked.
Pectoral crosses — in the Episcopal tradition, worn OVER the clergy shirt, but UNDER the liturgical vestments.
As for jewelry, absolutely. The only exceptions I can think of are special services: if I did a communion service for PFLAG, for instance (not the whole congregation), I might wear a rainbow pin — not on my alb, but on my stole. In fact, if there was a “special” Sunday for anything (I’m thinking breast cancer, aids, etc.) I might wear a small pin on my stole. But not personal jewelry. My watch probably shows when I reach out, and I can’t remove my class ring (weight gain). But frankly (referring to your later post), I think of bright lipstick or nail polish in the same category as personal jewelry, liturgically speaking. Also, if it came up, I might do it at a funeral. I have a widow who always wears a very small gold airplane pin for her deceased husband who was a lifelong professional pilot. If she had asked me to wear it for his funeral, I would have done so without hesitation. Great topic; careful discernment required. I always wear a small cross (24/7) under my clothes. It shows with v-neck clothing, but not under clerical or liturgical garb.
I hate to go on about this, but there’s one other exception for me. Every once in a while I feel the need to put on my mother’s diamond ring. It’s a little flashy, and people always notice (and compliment it). It’s not quite as flashy as a cocktail ring, but it’s definitely the flashiest piece of REAL jewelry that I own. My mom died 9 years ago. Once in a while I just need to feel her close to me. It’s maybe once a year that I put it on and wear it (not on my own “wedding finger.” If it was something “bigger,” I probably would save it for non-liturgical times.
I now realize that I omitted something- I did wear a $100 watch and either my class ring or a birthstone ring my Grandma gave me when I preached. They’re not on my vestments but on my wrist and my ring finger. On reflexion I should have omitted both.