Self-care DOES seem to be the theme on BTFM lately, doesn’t it? And as Martha would say, that’s a good thing, because no matter how fabulous our outfits, shoes, hair, make-up and grooming, if there’s an uncared-for person underneath all that, we’re no good to ourselves, our families, our communities or our God.
Caught ya! You didn’t think PeaceBang would suggest that we EVER not good to God, did you? That wouldn’t be very Universalist of her, would it?? God doesn’t need us to be good to ourselves in order to love us. Let’s remember that.
PeaceBang is undertaking the journey of addressing her compulsive overeating with the help of Weight Watchers and is shocked and awed by how easily she was putting away 6-7 servings of perfectly healthy food at every meal, and sometimes between meals. You should have seen me last night measuring out my chicken chili into little freezer bags and saying, “OH HELL NO, I can eat that much in ONE BITE!!” As my regular readers know, food is PeaceBang’s drug of choice, and a full tummy is for her a calming and security-enhancing feeling, except when it’s an overly-full tummy in which case she gets remorseful and heart-burny.
Overeating is no big deal and PeaceBang doesn’t like to pathologize it too much. We live in a fat, food-oriented society, we all have lots of occasions to over-eat (and we do), and we spend far too much time agonizing about calories and dress/pants sizes when we ought to be focusing on more important issues. We’re all good and tired of the constant media trumpeting about the OBESITY EPIDEMIC, and no one needs another diet plan or magic pill or weight-loss reality show to talk about around the water cooler.
All that said, and with no promises to succeed, I am feeling the effects of the 100 lbs. I’ve gained since 10th grade and have come to the realization that I cannot and will not lose weight without a system of accountability and a program to follow. The statistics for successful weight loss are poor, I know, but my goals are simple: learn to eat like a normal person (“normal” defined as someone who eats until they’re satisfied and then stops without having an upset, deprived little fit in their head about it) and stop using food to reward and calm.
I took a little spin back to the 12-step Overeaters Anonymous community and was so repulsed by the piety of it and by the pathologizing of a perfectly common behavior (this offends me far more than the cheerleadery, brainless Weight Watchers messages one has to endure at meetings), not to mention the tendency of women in OA meetings to have no feminist consciousness whatsoever, that I’m going to try to create a community of support here online.
Lizard Eater started a blog called The Weight of the World awhile ago and it’s very good, but I’m looking for people who might be willing to receive e-mails from me and just to listen — and in exchange I will offer pastoral support to you with your own issues (which need not be overeating). The idea here is that instead of going to the fridge and freaking out over what I can’t have, I can whip off an e-mail to a member of my Online Ministry Posse and know that someone real will read it and care, even if they have nothing to say but “Keep at it, kid.” We promise to pray for each other. We will offer no advice unless it is specifically requested, and that includes diet tips. We will refrain in all ways from competitiveness or comparisons. Our purpose is to have a safe place to express feelings that aren’t appropriately aired elsewhere for fear of irritating those we love most.
All correspondences will be treated with pastoral confidentiality.
Who’s in?
[Udate: Due to demand, the Ordained Overeaters Online Ministry Posse is closed for now. Thanks for your interest and if I can figure it out, I will try to create something easier to access and moderate than e-mails. Blessings on all your health and self-care efforts. – PB, 12/11/07]
Peacebang,
I found your blog just two weeks ago and it is a tonic! I wandered in looking for minimal wardrobe tips and before I knew it I was saying AMEN and spending money at Sephora. But this is a good thing, I just turned 50 and I am in nursing school. So I was looking a little tired. And I needed a reminder to let my light shine and all that.
But as far as this weight issue, I just wanted to say I am in and to testify! I have lost 25 pounds on Weight Watchers Core plan and I have to say it works. So sending support to you on this! And I would love encouragement and email from you because maintenance I am afraid is going to be difficult. I didnt even go to meetings, I did it all online. You can do it – and you will have so much energy!
Peace and Love from Atlanta,
Truckpal
I’m in.
If you ever need support, I’m in (though I’m not ordained…yet. Going through The Process). I joined SparkPeople.com for accountability and support, and I LOVE it.
PB, I can’t be in right now for reasons I’ll go into in a minute, but I do understand so well the issue of compulsive overeating because, ahem, I am a compulsive overeater and always will be. In March of this year, I had gastric bypass surgery, and since then have lost nearly 70 pounds. Now, that is a wonderful thing, and I am so grateful that I had absolutely no issues with my insurance company, and my health has improved about 1000% — I suffered from severe sleep apnea, which affected so many areas of my life — but I am still a compulsive overeater, although I can’t eat nearly as much as I used to for obvious reasons. I have noticed that as my ability to medicate with food has not done the job that it used to, I have been spending compulsively, which is now my balm, so to speak. So now I’m dealing with that. It’s all symptoms of a deeper issue, probably one of many; it’s not so easy to figure out. But I’m with you in spirit, believe me, in the quest for “getting sober”!
I want it give it a go.
Sign me up.
Eat to Live, not Live to Eat. I need to put that on my forehead.
You can count me in, if you need someone at 3 in the morning (I’m 6 hours ahead of Boston). I’d have to give you my work address, but I could use some pauses of prayer during my day!
p.s. woman of the cloth, if you put your slogan on your forehead, you’d only see it in the mirror, and then it would be backwards. You’ll have to revert to writing on your hand 😉
Count me in. I overeat, especially since I am gave up other habits which I can’t go into online.
Count me in, too. I’m not overweight, but I’m trying to shift my food choices to reduce cancer (recurrence) risk. You probably know the drill: no sugar, only whole grains, lots of veggies and fruits, only nonfat dairy, occasional wild-caught fish or free-range poultry, all-organic everything as much as possible. Since I’ve started, all I see is M&M’s everywhere!
Count me in, too. The more support we can give each other in self-care and maintaining healthy eating habits, the better. I am certainly willing to be on-line support for you.
-m
I too would love to be in. It would be helpful to me also as I struggle to bring balance to my life.
First – Shagbark – I agree with you about the M&M’s. The current round of TV ads enticing people to personalize their candy stopped being cute and is making me a bit batty.
As to the question at hand – due to some pending personal developments, I don’t think I can participate. It does sound like a good idea and I wish all of you the best. [Wait a minute, wait a minute… that sounds suspiciously like a BABY!!!!!!!!! Am I right?]
oops now I see this is for the ordained crowd. Sorry to barge in! sending good thoughts to all of you this season…will enjoy from afar.
love and peach. [No prob, babe. xoxo PB]
I’m game.
Yes, I would love to be part of the health-full group you described. I same a similar story and some very similar feelings about OA.
Will this be a separate blog or email group? Either way — count me in.
So glad you’re willing to do this.
I’m in.
I’m in.
I am not willing to receive “pastoral messages of support.” I need to lose 70 pounds. But I’m seeking mutuality — which is what weight watchers offers that your program seems to miss. Enlighten me. I may well be hearing wrongly. I need someone who is fighting the same fight, not someone who offers me words of comfort. I am not willing to be part of someone else’s “program,” but would gladly be part of a mutually supportive and EQUAL group. Please. If you’re willing to negotiate something that looks more mutual than you describe, I’d love to hear from you. You have my email. If this is you (being unilateral and therefore one-up pastor to the obese) count me out. I love collegiality. I don’t care much for one-down, one-up. Let me know the true plan. Maybe others need a weight loss pastor, in which case, I’m not your girl. [Wow, this is incredibly hostile. Why you would feel entitled to write such a bizarrely flailing, angry riposte to my request for online pastoral support is beyond me. I don’t know if you’re hearing wrong, but you most certainly are “responding wrong.” Good luck with your weight loss efforts and with that “collegiality” concept. – PB]
Ann – yes, I think you are hearing wrongly.
Our purpose is to have a safe place to express feelings that aren’t appropriately aired elsewhere for fear of irritating those we love most.
Sorry, I am not an ordained one, and didn’t mean to participate if it wasn’t appropriate. I just like this blog too.
This sounds perfect, actually (unless, of course this is strictly for the ordained crowd, in which case I’m not quite there yet). I certainly am in need of some support with stuff I can’t really turn to others about, and would love to be a source of support to you. I’m in!
Peacebang wrote: “The statistics for successful weight loss are poor, I know”
My husband is a bariatrician. A commonly cited statistic is that 95% of people who lose weight will regain it. The famous study that originated that claim was conducted in 1959 with 100 people who were given a diet to follow and very little follow-up afterwards. (Even the lead author of the study has said he would do it differently now.)
The founders of the National Weight Control Registry (which follows people who have lost weight and kept it off for significant periods of time) were afraid they would have a hard time finding enough success stories to follow. They were wrong. They found thousands of people who have maintained a thirty year weight loss for at least a year. (In fact, I believe the average person in that study has lost 60 or 70 and kept it off for at least five years, but I am going on memory, here, and could be mistaken.)
We personally know a number of people who have lost significant amounts of weight and kept it off, though they are not officially tracked in research studies. I think it’s really an untold story, how successful many people are at this. They just aren’t making the papers.
Anyway — the folks in the weight control registry have succeeded with a variety of programs and methods. It isn’t as hopeless as it seems.
FWIW, my husband refers people to these books:
Walter Willett’s “Eat, Drink and Be Healthy” and “Eat, Drink and Lose Weight”
For families and children: David Ludwig’s “Ending the Food Fight”
Walter Willett heads up Harvard’s department of nutrition, and David Ludwig runs the children’s weight loss program at Children’s Hospital in Boston. Both favor low-glycemic load approaches.
{Thanks for the good news!! -PB]
Hey PB; you know I’m always good for a late night phone call on any subject, but if you just can’t weight to read some of my thoughts on these matters, you can always click here.
Count me in.
OK, the fact that I’m reading this while eating Kraft Mac & Cheese while I should be working on a final project on Luke means that I’m definitely in. I too have done OA, lost 50 lbs w/ WW, and now am struggling with 70 lbs gained in seminary. Ouch and help! [Ouch, indeed! I feel you, hon. We’ll be in touch. I love mac and cheese, too, and Luke. – PB]
I’ve been doing WW on-line for about 6 weeks now. It’s happening, slowly…which is the idea. I do the flex plan. this is a path I’ve been on before and one I realize I really need to be on. You know when I’m there, I love the way I feel in control of my food choices and myself. I begin to feel more fully myself. A good (and godly) thing. I find managing my food means I’m more motivated to move and exercise too. I figure at my age, I need to do this or I’ll soon find my mobility and health compromised.
Yours on the journey – Linda (not a minister, but an M. Div. student)
I’m in–and I just gave up on Weight Watchers (way too perky for me right now, and too many options for snacking, but that is just me). I’m glad it’s working for you!
Not ordained and don’t plan to be, but would love to participate.
PB, I’m so proud of you for taking a very difficult step. I couldn’t make it work with Weight Watchers (even though, God love me, I tried seven times). So now I’m just focusing on working out several times a week and that’s working for me. Now I’m battling with my natural urge to grab a cookie if they’re sitting out, even if I know I’m already too full.
One of my “overly perky” Weight Watchers leaders used this quip and I love it so much. “If you want a little behind, you have to leave a little behind.”
I just wanted to let you know about a blog you should check out, called http://www.pastaqueen.com. The amazingly inspirational author lost 200 pounds, and was perfectly normal and funny and snarky and non-pathological about it. I found it really refreshing, and I’m guessing you might as well.
So when PeaceBang calls Weight Watchers “brainless” that’s not hostile, but when Ann responds thoughtfully with her needs and offerings, she’s considered hostile? Jeez people! [JoJo — figure it out. Sharing honest insights about one’s experience with an organization is hardly equivalent to slapping someone across the face in the middle of a conversation. Thanks for the Norma Rae efforts, though, however misguided. – PB]
I know many folks, myself included who have found Weight Watchers to be helpful, supportive and highly effective (including easy to use cognitive behavioral techniques for changing habits and patterns). Using that program is also most likely to help you keep the weight off for the long haul and for that reason is the one recommended by most health care providers. [Yea, that’s why I joined a few weeks ago. I was saying that the cheerleadery tone used at their meetings is brainless. I guess you didn’t really get that distinction — but it’s hard to read carefully when you’re in a self-righteous fog. -PB]
Nothing works for everyone, but that is no reason to disrespect options that work for other people.
I wish you all well in making positive changes in your health and lives no matter what you find works well for you.
I’d like to be in too! Been there, done that– now trying to embrace the opportunity to learn these self-care lessons again. And, as my good sister/friend tells me, ‘practicing imperfection’.
I just started ww, too. I’m in.
Can I join in if I’m not a minister? If so, I’m totally in!
I would like in too. 🙂
I need some help with self-control and this sounds like the perfect motivation.