Beauty Tips for Ministers

Suggestions For Boots

November 29, 2007 on 10:14 am | In Shoes (Gals) |

Good morning, Candy Canes. PeaceBang is feeling more human this morning so is going to answer this leetle inquiry that goes like this:

Has Peacebang ever told us how to wear boots? I have three fabulous pairs I love, but I can’t figure out what to wear with them. I used to wear one pair with a cute tweedy, knee length skirt (which is gone now), but really: sweaters? Suits? Button down shirts? Help! How can we wear our boots?

Also, how can we make our boots quiet? One pair with a chunky-heeled, 1.5″ cutie, but it’s SO noisy and hard to pull off.

First of all, honey pie, PeaceBang prefers to say that she advises, she doesn’t tell. When it comes to wearing Crocs, reindeer sweaters, helmet hair, and dead, wan faces in the pulpit she advises very strongly, but it’s all up to you! You have free will like God made ya! So let’s talk about how to use your God-given free will in the wearing of boots.

Wear ‘em all the time! Boots are fabulous! PeaceBang’s favorite outfit is a pair of dark denim flared jeans with boots, a shirt and blazer, or a shirt and sweater. Boots go with most everything now — although PeaceBang is not a big fan of the frilly babydoll dresses-with-boots look since only serious fashionistas, the young and the very slim and long-legged can pull it off.

Many boots are heavy, and those that are need a hearty fabric to stand up to them. You don’t want to wear boots with silky skirts or something that looks too springy or summery. Boots look great with pants of all kinds; it’s hard to imagine a situation where pants and boots aren’t a good combo. Again, if you’re worried about looking like a cowhand in cowboyish boots, wear something more professional and feminine up top. You don’t want to go about in jeans, boots, a button-up blouse and nothing else. Add a belt to your blouse, wear big hoop earrings, put on a vest — do something to bring the outfit from sloppy to attractive.

There are lots of gorgeous boots out there made of buttery leathers (or faux leathers) and suedes that are every bit as dressy as a pair of pumps. They can dress up a suit and bring a huge dash of snazz to an otherwise unremarkable wardrobe. If you’re in the market for such a boot, considering looking for something in a creamy taupe, deep black or chocolate brown with a little elegant buckle or detailing. The boot should fit like a glove and cause Italian women to compulsively stop you on the street and ask you where you got your shoes. If they try to knock you out and steal your boots off your feet, you know you’ve found some winners.

FRUMP ALERT: One of the key ways women get into serious frump territory with boots is to wear skirts that stop four or five inches above the boot top, revealing a length of floppy leg flesh. This is so, so, so unattractive! Boots that stop mid-calf should NEVER be worn with skirts that aren’t ankle-length (and you know how PB feels about skirts that long — most of us can’t get away with wearing them but persist in the fantasy that they make us look appealingly prairie circuit-riderish when to most eyes we just look totally outre, or, um, Amish). And let me tell you, reverend dudes, we don’t want to see your hairy calves peeking out the top of your Bean boots when you cross your legs in meetings. Nor should you wear snow boots with suits, as if I had to tell you that.

Along the same line, gals, do NOT wear obvious snow boots with skirts if you can avoid it. Snow boots are heavy and furry and ponderous, like little snow tires for your feet. Skirts are feminine and lovely of line, and there is no faster way to destroy the line of a skirt (whether floaty and pretty or structured and slim) than to slap on a pair of muckalucks. It’s incongruous, like Sasquatch wearing a party dress. It’s also squattifying and hugely unflattering, and there, PeaceBang just made up a new word just for you (squattifying)! Isn’t she a clever bean?

Do not be fooled by the recent pictorials in the celebrity magazines featuring dewy young things tromping all over Rodeo Drive in Uggs and denim mini-skirts. Those girls have freakishly long legs with no body fat on them and they’re supposed to shock and awe
with their bizarre and risky fashion choices. You and I need to be more judicious with our boots and pair them with terrific trousers, seemly skirts and fabulous frocks.

One last word: a great look with boots is to wear a knee-length skirt with knee-high boots. For the look to work, the boots really need to fit the calf and go all the way, or very close to, the knee. If there’s any gap it will look funny, but if there’ a slight gap just fill it in with dark hose and all will be forgiven. But again, the boot should be a slim leather or faux leather. If you’re over 30 and a professional, no furry lace-up things with skirts. No tufts of shearling peeking out from under a tweed suit.

If you’re brave enough to wear the new (again) ankle booties with skirts, send along a photo with the news of your triumph, because PeaceBang wouldn’t dare. If you’re trying this look, you are making sure to wear hose that approximately match the boot, right? To lengthen the leg and give the look a touch of womanly elegance?