Advent Hiatus

Angels, as you know, PeaceBang has chronic anxiety and panic disorder that she is still trying to understand and get cured of. This battle has gone badly lately and so, on doctor’s suggestion to cut everything out of my life — even things that I love (!)– that aren’t absolutely necessary to my daily schedule (with time out for exercise, which I do NOT love), I have decided to take a blogging hiatus.

The reasoning goes like this: if so many things in my life are stimulating, energizing and inspiring (ministry, school, relationships, music, etc.), perhaps it would be good to carve out more space for things that are calming, emptying and maybe even dull? Certainly this season, at any rate.

When Pan and I stop making out so often, I’ll be back.
For now, God bless us, everyone.

Go be beautiful.

christmas-candles.jpg

PeaceBang is Sick and Tired…

…in that order.

Tummy trouble, and the great, dragging post-Thanksgiving weariness.

Inspire me! Write in with kvestions! How ya doing out there!?

[Update: As it turns out, I did NOT poison my colleagues with tainted eggs. They all report that they are dandy and fine, and that I am the only one whose stomach was attacked by microscopic martians that day. Or else I have a dairy intolerance. I’m not sure, and I hate to think so! I would be happy to share my recipe for cheesy kale frittatta.- PB, 11.29.07]

New Blog About Fat Prejudice in the Health Industry

On a serious note, gang, I just came across this blog called First Do No Harm, Real Stories of Fat Prejudice in Health Care.

Read it and weep. Consider your heavy congregants who made need some advocacy in this area. Consider yourselves, if you’re people of size (I heard that once and thought it was both funny and cool).
PeaceBang’s favorite response to doctors who chirpily or somberly her to lose weight is to respond, “But how, doctor?”
They always bite.
And when they describe the magical combination of exercise and calorie reduction I say in wondering tones, “You know, I’ve been fat since I was 19 years old and I had NO IDEA how that worked. None at all.” When they chuckle uncomfortably and say, “Now, Victoria…” I tell them quite earnestly that in my experience, no one in America knows more about diet, exercise and nutrition than the average overweight woman. They’ve mostly been good at listening, since no fat people have ever spoken up before and informed them of this. I like to say that in between boxes of chocolates and fried chicken wings, I actually do a considerable amount of reading on health and nutrition. I could have a degree by now, no kiddin’. Me and my Mom. Dual honorary doctorates in diet and nutrition. Pass the budda.

But I love my current doctor’s office. No officious, scrawny intern half my age ordering me to “step on the scale” when I come in to get a prescription filled for malaria medicine (my response? “No, thanks, I gave at the office” as I breeze on down the hall). My nurse practitioner is the first medical professional who understands the truly confounding nature of compulsive overeating and doesn’t look at fatness as the chief indicator of health and well-being. She’s the first medical care-giver I’ve ever had who doesn’t treat me with barely hidden contempt. “Heredity may be destiny here,” she says when we discuss weight control. “You’re healthy, just keep moving. Keep moving and keep eating well.” IMAGINE a doctor who believes you when you assure them that you do actually eat well! Imagine a doctor who says, “You don’t smoke, you don’t drink, you don’t do drugs, you have good sleep habits, you eat nutritiously, you manage your stress with exercise, you have good community, you’ve never been hospitalized or had a surgery, your blood sugar, cholesterol and blood pressure are normal — you’re healthy.”

This is what we call a keeper, my friends. It’s the kind of affirmation of holistic existence that makes me actually go buy collard greens at the grocers and not doctor them up with hamhocks. And for a few days at least, I can ignore the screaming, hysterical headlines about the OBESITY EPIDEMIC and just live in my body without shame or worry. What a gift.

Almay Oil-Free Eye Makeup Remover Gel: Thumbs WAY Down

Darlings,

It just makes PeaceBang SO ANGRY when she spends her hard-earned money on beauty products that DO NOT WORK. Such is the case with Almay Oil-Free Eye Makeup Remover Gel, which retails for about $7 and does nothing whatsoever to remove either waterproof or regular mascara from the eyes.

I could do better having my CAT lick off my mascara. I could get a better result SLEEPING HARD ON MY PILLOWCASE.

A pox on you, Almay, for sending me back to the drugstore for another product! I got TWO PARKING TICKETS* THIS WEEK AND I CAN’T AFFORD IT.
almay.jpg

*PeaceBang has very, very bad parking ticket karma because she has a genetically-inherited disorder called “Parking Hubris,” which causes her to either truly believe it’s legal to park in a certain spot, or to feel entirely certain that the meter doesn’t need any more quarters because it’s past 6pm, or some other fanciful flight of entitlement that results in being ticketed.

When she was in seminary PeaceBang got parking tickets so often that she could not keep up with payments and eventually got the Denver Boot. And when she moved back to Massachusetts and was called upon by a lovely insurance representative (still her insurance guy and a favorite villager), he went away to complete her paperwork only to find that she still owed literally thousands of dollars in unpaid tickets and excise taxes. If you find this an unpardonable sin and irresponsible behavior, please keep in mind that Boston and its surrounding urban environs have exquisitely torturous and highly arbitrary parking laws that always seemed to go into enforcement the MOMENT PeaceBang pulled into a space (which had been, five minutes earlier, PERFECTLY LEGAL).

It has been a traumatic week with the tickets. PeaceBang sincerely believed that her Parking Hubris was cured, and she hasn’t had a ticket in many years. Now two in 8 days! What this will do to the turkey budget, I don’t know. We’ll have to have raisin pie instead of pecan, because have you SEEN the price of pecans lately? They cost about as much per bag as the Almay Oil-Free Eye Makeup Remover that DOESN’T WORK.

Show PeaceBang lots of love this week, won’t you? She is feeling slightly hysterical about the fact that the Holy Spirit does NOT want to give her any creative Thanksgiving worship service ideas, about the fact that she needs to write a serious paper before mid-December, about planning, cleaning and cooking for Thanksgiving, about having agreed to keynote a January church retreat on the subject of religious life and humor (what the bejeebus to say about THAT for three lectures?) and about a credit card bill that arrived with the trick-or-treaters and represents highly out-of-character thoughtless little moments in places like Sephora and Clark’s shoe store. Aiiieee.