Meredith, Call Me!

Alert reader Sarah informed me that the author of a piece on NPR’s “All Things Considered” today might have been referring to THIS VERY LITTLE OLE BLOG in her discussion of clergy fashion.

After having heard the essay, I think the author has actually been reading a different clergy fashion blog, but I thank Sarah for referring me to the Reverend Mrs. Gudger Raines’ essay, which made me bite my nails in anxiety.

Meredith, honey, CALL ME! If you think that showing some of your “rounded bare shoulders” in the pulpit is going to help your West Viriginia Methodist congregation grasp the incarnation more fully, girl, you’re going to be out before you ever get IN!

If anyone knows Meredith, please refer her to me. We need to talk about sleeves, and about West Virginia.
The essay is here:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5522718

Doesn’t she just sound like the most earnest, gee-whiz new seminary graduate you ever heard? What a darling gal. Lord have mercy: let’s hope we get to her in time.

The Summer Uglies

PeaceBang sighs and mopes this time of year, as she loves the summer but frankly looks like hell in typical summer clothes. And the heat and humidity wreaks God’s own vengeance on her hair and make-up.

Professionally she sticks pretty much to white blouses, cool cotton skirts (sometimes showing some gams, sometimes not) and cute pumps or sandals. When off-duty, she sticks to jeans, t-shirts and cotton scarves in her hair (or fun caps). But what about those in-between occasions, when a girl wants to look polished but not ministerial, and not like her most casual running-errands-flopping-around-the-house self?

What about, for example, going on a DATE?

What about going on a DATE in the SUMMER when you HATE your upper arms and they should never been seen in public and you don’t want to over-do the cleavage because that’s just OBVIOUS and it’s too casual an occasion to wear a cute skirt to, and you’d just about KILL to be able to wear a sexy camisole but you just can’t because there are those ARMS to deal with? And what about the HAIR? How to manage the HAIR? Meanwhile your date looks perfectly adorable in just Levi 501’s and a t-shirt while you can’t find a THING in your closet and it’s also too hot to wear your reliable constricting undergarments and my God, what if it should get to PAJAMAS or even, my Lord, less than that, like SWIMMING SUITS? And you can’t very well wear a PAREO INTO the POOL, can you, and they don’t make swimsuits with LONG SLEEVES. So you know you’ll just have to keep having dates in clubs or restaurants with air-conditioning and pray he likes you well enough to make it through the season into fall, when really, you’re just much cuter.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to PeaceBang’s First Official Summer Meltdown.

Please, I beg you to comment. I might have a date soon.

The Marquis de Sandal

PeaceBang just has to share with you a few more highlights from her trip to NYC:

First, she would like to give all due propers to MotherBang and SisterBang, who are always a sartorial inspiration and besides that, make her laugh really really hard for hours at a time.
MotherBang showed up in a black skirt, a reversible Paddington bear like rain slicker, rather frumpy black floppy loafers and flesh-colored fishnet knee-highs.

Yes, I said fishnets.

My point is not to dis the Mama, but to tell you that MotherBang has an eternally unerring sense of personal style and glamour but that sometimes, in taking a risk, she makes a mistake. Anyone can make a mistake. She thought her flats were all the rage. We had to talk about why they weren’t (wrong shape, too floppy). She knew the fishnets were a fashionable touch, but we had to talk about why they were a little bit more Eccentric Retired Drama Teacher than she intended, and she immediately peeled them off. She Understands. She created this monster, and she graciously understands that she has to accept the consequences. She was the one who taught me that one always, always looks at the rear view before buying any garment, to look for “puppies.” If you have to ask what puppies are, you must be very slim and fit, that’s all I can say.

SisterBang made her appearance the next day in a typically very cute ensemble and wearing sandals of mine that I gave her because they pinch my toes too badly. After a few blocks, she dubbed them The Marquis de Sandal, but she is willing to SUFFER FOR BEAUTY. She is also willing to pull the mattress (and I use the term very loosely) off a hotel cot and sleep on the floor, which is another reason we love her.

There were scads of fabulously clad men and women at the Union Theological Seminary graduation ceremony, and I just wish you could have seen them. If they are the future of ministry I am hopeful for the de-frumpification of the American clergy.


Confessions of A Happy Product Addict

Juniper asked all about where product addicts keep all their stash.
Here’s how it looks in the Land of PeaceBang:

peacebangbeauty1

And a close-up (25 lipsticks/glosses hardly take up ANY room, see?):

peacebangbeauty3

peacebangbeauty2

(I swear I did not intend one bit of comedy by the presence of the Cross. It’s been there for years and I never realized how sacreligious it looks until now!)

And then we have the bathroom product bonanza:

peacebangbeautybathroom2

peacebangbeautybathroom

(We would not HAVE our toothbrush out in the open, of course, where it can pick up flying ickies from a flushing toilet. That strange blue plastic item is actually a tongue sraper that I hardly ever use because it makes me gag.)

And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Not to mention the supplies in the closet, because what girl wants to run out of deody-o right before an important preaching event? And what busy religious leader wants to have to pour shampoo into stupid little travel bottles before hopping on the plane when she can just keep nifty travel sized items pre-packed in a clear cosmetic bag, ready to go when she is?

Love me, love my products.