Category: Fighting Frump

PeaceBang’s mind is just REELING from a week in St. Louis with her colleagues and co-religionists.

There was an abundance of tie-dye, and at one event every single woman was wearing the same exact ugly sandals. Hot investing tip: As the Boomers age, you all might want to buy stock in Clarke shoes, which specializes in comfortable sandals that have the dubious virtue of being one step up, attractiveness-wise, from actual orthopedics.

There is indeed an unspoken dress code for religious liberals, and it’s ain’t pretty.

When I get home from Chicago I’ll treat you to loads of photos.

I shared a shuttle to the airport with two ministerial colleagues and I must admit that the moment I laid eyes on them I thought, “Well, they’re earnest Save The Whales types and I’m a snarky Gen X-er, so I’m not sure I should even strike up a conversation.”
Also, I was just so tired.
But as it turns out, we had a hilarious talk in the actual airport and they were totally Cute People with a great sense of joie de vivre and affectionate humor. And even though they described themselves as “old hippies,” I don’t think they’ve saved any actual whales for awhile.

As we chatted, she revealed that she is an appreciative reader of this blog so I gave them both some tips — the man has a really cool hairline that right now is being obscured by the presence of a long ponytail, which I think he should cut off so he can feature that wonderful kind of widow’s peak he’s got. I encouraged him to go to a great stylist and get a wonderful cut and some pomade (maybe by Crew?) that will shine up his gorgeous dark brown hair and keep it in place.
He was wearing a nice denim shirt and chinos and since we had just been at GA, I’ll give him a pass on the chalice baseball cap. He made reference to some “colorful ties” he wears with his shirts. If that means a closetful of UNICEF children’s art ties, dear M., we’ll have to talk.

In the interest of full disclosure I should say that I myself looked like a half- deranged sloppy mess by that point, having just slapped on whatever was vaguely clean for my trip to Chicago.

My female colleague is as cute as can be, but was dressed in a Guatamalan cotton striped shirt that was rather boxy, with a buttoned stand-up collar, short sleeves and no shape to it. Fearing, as most of us do, that she has “no waist,” she had left it untucked, and it was long.

She was also wearing a boxy, slightly too big and too long purple front-buttoned cotton skirt with no real shape to it, either. As a result of this outfit, she looked like a cute little rectangle, and I was utterly unable to discern her female curves. I advised her to find a skirt with some shape to it — perhaps one of the little cotton items at Old Navy with the nipped in waist. And I think she might either belt that Guatamalen shirt, or better yet, wear it as a jacket with a fitted t-shirt underneath and some chunky beads. She’s a very sweet Earth Mother type who wears her hair in a long braid, so she might want to try a low chignon. Maybe Rali, who knows how to do the fastest and prettiest low chignon I’ve ever seen, could reach out? I’ll get them together.

We decided together that fashion for ministers is all about looking like yourself, but not like a cliched version of yourself. I thank my male colleague for that quote, because I think it’s just perfect. I also agree with him that a slight element of surprise is good. As he said, “Keep them guessing.”

It was great to meet them, and I wish them every happiness in their new settlement.