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Ministry Apparel

A friend alerted me to this new clothing company called Ministry and it is just too funny.

It’s a revolution! Of tailored neutrals! For people up to size 14!! Radical!

I hope they get a ton of clergy to their site. I asked them some questions on their Facebook page, like, “Are these clothes good to preach in? How about serving a meal at a soup kitchen?”

But hey, if a sleek, minimalist new clothing line thinks that “Ministry” is a hip word to use for their product, I guess we’re the cool kids now.

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Istanbul: On Preachers And Terrorism

This comment made me think a lot:

I think my best comment it that there will always be enough bad news to fill the newspaper. I am a big fan of reading newspapers but I have to remember that those things are far from my real life. My real life is lived in my town with my friends and acquaintances. The things that are arms length from me should matter more to me than what is going on in another state or country.

I get what you’re saying, Donna. We must be grounded in our time and place in our ministries.

But my own tradition emphasizes interdependence and interconnectedness, and I struggle with having a local focus that also acknowledges our place in the world. Unitarian Universalism is an eccentric religion that does not have a set liturgy and therefore no weekly Prayers For The World such as you would find in many church’s worship services. We write ours fresh every Sunday, and that means that we constantly have to make decisions about what to include, what to lift up, for our congregations. If we don’t do it ritually, someone will stand up during our infamous “Joys and Sorrows” segment (or sort of democratic take on the Prayes of the People) and give an off-the-cuff homily on the latest terrorist attack.

(Joys and Sorrows has been a practice among many of us for lots of decades now, and most ministers hate it. Many of us like it because we get a lot of pastoral information in that moment, and we frequently remind the congregation of the three cardinal rules of J’s and S’s: 1. Speak into the mic so everyone can hear you, even if you think you talk loudly enough without the mic. 2. Keep your sharing brief. 3. Keep your sharing personal — ie, this is not the time for anyone to hold forth on social issues.)

I never want my preaching to become a predictable “Rev. Vicki’s Response To The Latest Violence In The World,” but the fact is that terrorist attacks are part of our new shared global reality, experiences domestic violence attorney in Long Island and I feel that pastors must help our people build more spiritual muscle to confront that fact. If the church does not teach how faithful people respond to this reality, false prophets like Donald Trump will teach them how. This is not a time to let the same, comfortable litanies and Scripture passages waft over the ears and assume that those in the pews will know how to translate those passages to their own lives and the new frequency of mass shootings (domestic terrorism) and terrorist violence abroad. Clergy must actively translate, interpret our faith anew to people who are being passionately inveighed outside of the church walls to let fear and paranoia inform our choices as Americans. They are being taught elsewhere that Wisdom is the offspring of suspicion, not love. They are walking out of our doors and heading immediately to their couches and chairs and nodding their heads in agreement over ideas of walls and closed borders and profiling. If that’s not okay with their ministers, then we must address “the news” and not just our local relationships. You can read at their blog for more about domestic violence. Get in touch with Daniel M. Murphy who is the best criminal lawyer like The Hogle Law Firm: criminal defense firm in Mesa. You can get in touch with other criminal lawyers like NJ based criminal justice lawyers

The new global reality means that what is happening in another state or another country is, in fact, happening to all of us. How we build wisdom to speak to it and capacity to absorb and integrate it as clergy is a real challenge of our times.

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Collared: Clergy Couture

Thanks, everyone, for sending me the link to this article about two women (one ordained — the other, I’m not sure, even though she is pictured in clericals) who have opened an online boutique called “Collared” for the sale of edgier, more femme clericals.

I’m not sure if the Rev. Sandra Sykes and Mandy Strevens are aware that “collared” is a popular term in the kink community for a submissive in a Domme/sub relationship, so that made me laugh. If it was intentional, ladies, well played! All clergy are in a kind of D/s relationship with God, but I’m not sure I appreciate the gendered implication of women clergy as being the “subs” in any power equation. It sure will be fun when prospective customers google “Collared,” though! Weeeee!

THAT said, let’s talk about clergy image and style and all those wonderful subjects we tackle here on BTFM.

It has been sort of fun/sort of frustrating to see this article passed around on Facebook and commented upon in all the usual ways:
“I could never take a priest seriously if she was dressed like this!”
“I don’t care WHAT my rector wears; I care about her theology!”
“Why should religious leaders be drab? God isn’t drab! The Church has a magnificent aesthetic tradition that pays homage and praise to God’s attributes!”

This last commenter, of course, is singing PB’s song.

I agree wholeheartedly that the traditional “dog collar” (as it is referred to by the author of the article) is utilitarian, restricting and most certainly fair game for reconsideration and re-design. There’s nothing much we can do with the style of the collar itself, and you know how dizzy and nauseated PeaceBang gets when creative clergy try to, but it’s wonderful to see more designers providing alternatives to the Ye Ole Boys Club of Ministry Clericals.

Here are the two founders. I would have advised against the head tilt, which communicates uncertainty and insecurity. Look straight ahead, women! Launch that company!

clergy cout1

This image is much better. Confident. Relaxed smiles. Ready to do business with you, and two people you’d feel comfortable asking if a certain garment makes your butt look big.
clergy good
Also, that maroon top is FABULOUS!! It’s PERFECT! I want one! Yay for that clergy blouse, and let’s see more of that!!!

This is the photo that was used as the thumbnail in all the social media coverage, natch, because it’s the most obviously girlie and thus, controversial. Click bait! Women in pink dresses storming the barricades of traditionally male bastions of power! Let’s have a look. Click to enlarge.

pink clergy

I want to talk about the choice of photo first. Kids, this is why PeaceBang is always imploring you to take control of your photo sessions (in a nice way) and to work with the photographer to create images that reflect well on you individually, on the church, and on the ministry. This pose conveys almost a bizarre level of insecurity (“I can’t keep my hands still. Is this dress okay? Is this hem okay? Is the fabric clinging too much to my midsection? Is the crick rising and can I get acrosst it in time to save the cows and not unbecomingly drench myself?)
I don’t even KNOW what this pose is, but let’s call it “Little Girls Pees Herself At Birthday Party And Is Two Seconds From Bawling” and move along. You get the point. Don’t ever allow an image of yourself looking this nervous get out. Know what to do with your hands, your posture, your eyes, and your head. Work on it, memorize it, and tell the photographer what you want.

The garment is another ball of wax entirely.
My read on it is that it’s an unfortunate color choice for women in authority, as what could signal “I’m just a wee unthreatening girlie thing” more completely and unconsciously than baby pink?
Add to that the A-line waistless cut and the fairly wide 3/4 length sleeves and I’m afraid you’re on the way to the perfect pattern for angels costumes for the Christmas Eve pageant. It’s a really cute dress, but do you want to activate little girl angel archetypes in your work? I don’t.
The fabric and cut won’t be at all flattering for any figures but the most youthful and/or slim, but Strevens and Sykes are definitely onto something here. I would love to see this in a merlot color, or in a charcoal. The light color is also very difficult because it will show bra cups (this is NOT a dress for the abundant of bosom) and any tiny coffee stain you procure at the staff meeting.

Let’s look at another garment:
conflicted clergy

I have written before about the painfully cute Instagram style of posing and how it infantilizes grown women, and how much that puzzles and distresses me, and here we have a PERFECT SPECIMEN of what I’m talking about! Again, please avoid the little twisted foot pose and stand up straight, or place one leg slightly in back of the other, or work with a stylist to find poses that won’t leech away your power and authority.

As for the garment, I find it confusing. If a pastor came to visit me in the hospital wearing this, I would not understand what was going on. It’s too unfinished to be a dress. It’s too long to be a tunic (and thank God that it is that long if it’s to be worn with leggings, because the other alternative would be to be using LEGGINGS AS PANTS, which we all know is an epidemic of the Dark Lord). It’s got a tunic-y sort of hem, so is it a shirt? Is it some sort of hip, mini-skirt version of an alb, and did my pastor just come straight from church?

I think the designers are trying to avoid using belted styles, as perhaps they feel that belts add an unwelcome second circle of restriction around the waist when the wearer has already got one around her neck. I understand that choice, but I think that this garment needs some more design attention if it’s to work to clothe ministers. Keep the tunic length and bring it up about 6-8″ so it can be worn with tailored trousers or a pencil skirt, perhaps. Make it in a distinctly non-liturgical fabric and add side pockets, and bring it a few inches longer to be worn at knee length as a shift dress, maybe.

The body-skimming cut is very nice, and that’s hard to do.

I hope this isn’t the last we see of Sykes & Strevens and Collared. Pay them a visit (are you kidding? I’m not Googling them! Why would I deny you the pleasure? Fifty Shades of Ministry!). Let’s hope they do well bringing some feminine flair to clericals. I wish them all the best and a Kiss Of Peace.

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Under Eye Concealer Testing in Progress (And Prince)

Darlings, I test because I love. I am currently trying to find the best, cruelty-free, drugstore under eye concealers and will soon post results and a video tutorial on how to apply concealer, because I am learning TRICKS.

Now let us return to weeping the loss of the great and eternally sexy Prince.

I really am devastated. What else was the 80’s but dancing to Prince at every party?

He was amazing. He had unbelievable presence and flair — like supernatural levels of fabulosity.

Fifty-seven is too young. Reports from my old boyfriend in Minneapolis are that the entire city is in shock and grieving.

Yes, it’s fine to ask your organist to play “When Doves Cry” as a Recessional on Sunday.

“Dearly beloved — we are gathered here today — to get through — this thing called LIFE.”

Oh, Prince. Thank you.

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God’s Wall Of Protection

Chickadees, this is so important as a follow-up to my last post about the way we show up to challenge empire. I got permission to share this letter with you:

Dear Clergy,

The Latina immigrant women from —, —- and —- parishes met this past week to debrief and evaluate the action they imagined, planned, and executed at the ICE offices on Wednesday February 17th.

At the top of their list of what went really well was clergy participation. We had 21 clergy present!

The women spoke of feeling blessed by all of you. They said that your presence with them, at the very geographic center of the oppression and injustice they live with every day, was a symbol that God stood with them.

From the moment one of the women suggested we protest at ICE, they were afraid and every week as we met to prepare all the details, they started each meeting with a prayer for courage. They asked God to keep them and all the immigrants who attended safe.

In you, their prayers were answered. They saw you as God’s wall of protection surrounding them.

We thank you for standing with ECCO’s immigrant leaders.

With deep gratitude,

Alexandra and Rabbi Margie

After I read this, I sat in silence for a long time.
For me, attending that protest was another day in ministry. That is not to say that it didn’t impress me as being important or serious, but it was just another space I entered as a representative of the God of my faith tradition and the ethical commitments of my congregation.

That day, I got up, walked the dog, did some work at home, showered, dressed, did my hair and make-up, and clipped on my clericals. I made sure my phone was charged, entered the address of the Immigration Enforcement building into my GPS, and drove 40 or so minutes to join the action. I did not feel that I had contributed much, but I know how important it is to show up.

While there, I did keep my eye on the optics of the protest and helped a man holding an American flag to the front of the crowd so that his big, rippling stars and stripes would be visible to the cameras.

It certainly did not occur to me that my presence would feel like God’s wall of protection around women who live in fear that they or their loved ones who live and work in the county might be kidnapped at any time, detained or deported.

I saw the ICE security guys looking at us. I know how we looked to them. They are not demons, but they work for and protect the interests of empire.

Sometimes, when I think about dyeing my hair entirely robin’s egg blue because it’s so cool, I think about how often I am called upon to stand in the place of confronting empire, and I just know deep down that it is incredibly easy to write me off as “alternative” (artsy, naive, flaky, powerless) if I do that.

So I stick with pearl earrings and a chignon and a black suit and a pointy wedge shoe and a wool overcoat partly so I can look across the divide at those guys in uniform and fix them with a steady gaze and know that when they look back at me, the first thing they will see is my eyes, and my collar, and not my hair.

This is a choice I make. In these times, it seems more and more important that I dress in a way that indicates equal status with those in power. I can, so I do.
They’re in uniform, I’m in uniform.
They’re groomed and shined to military precision, so will I take the time to brush the dog hair off my wool coat and spray my hair.

If I want to be cute and creative, I can do that when I’m not confronting empire.
This may be why I recently bought a dress with a CANDY AND SNACKS pattern on it.