Revlon Colorstay Mineral Lipglaze*

Conversation between guys in marketing department of major ad agency:

Dude A: So, this product has a really sexy name.* Cool, I dig that. It sounds like a donut. But what’s its big selling point?

Dude B: It’s supposed to last a long time.

Dude A: I don’t wear lip gloss or whatever. How long is a long time?

Dude B: The chick in research said it lasted like nine minutes or something.

Dude A: Okay, so we say it lasts for nine HOURS. Are we good on that?

Dude C (who has been pretty much asleep throughout the conversation):
I’m good with it. Let’s roll that over to Creative.

PeaceBang’s verdict:

SAVE YER MONEY!!! This goo doesn’t last for nine hours or even for ONE hour, but the nine bucks you spent on it will scald your conscience for the rest of your life.

New Favorite Lippy

All of my pigeons know that I am desperately devoted to a now-discontinued lip color in the Cover Girl Outlast All Day line, and that I have stock-piled supplies that should last me until my fiftieth birthday, or until I pay off my seminary loans — whichever comes first.

But because I feel heavy-laden with guilt for extolling the virtues of a lip color that is unavailable to my readers, I have searched high and low for a replacement product that I can feel good about recommending to you as a go-to neutral for everyday wear for women of a wide variety of skin colorings (you’ll have to experiment, of course: I suspect this is not the shade for very dark-skinned gals, but another in the same line might be — if so, will you let us know?).

Drum roll, please, darlings. Or a kick-line, if that works for you. Let’s line up the Rockettes and announce that Revlon ColorStay Overtime Lipcolor in “Bare Maximum” is PeaceBang’s new favorite lip color!!

Hells bells, does this stuff stay on! Remember how in “Titanic,” Kate Winslet slogged through icy thigh-high ocean water in an evening gown, running for her life and eventually almost freezing to death floating in the dark, dark sea on a bit of flotsam as her lover Jack drowned before her very eyes, causing her to bleat “Jaaaaaack! Jaaaaaack” in a way that PeaceBang can imitate with scary accuracy, and while all of this life crisis was happening, her eyeliner and rosy lips remained PERFECT? Remember that?

Well, if you get some of this lippy, you can get through your own worst day with rosy lips at the end of it, too. You can wake up, get the kids off the school, write a sermon, attend four meetings, make a hospital visit, eat a greasy spinach and feta cheese croissant, drink nineteen cups of coffee, agitate for social justice and advocate for world peace and your lips are going to be lovely when you wash your face that night.

And that’s what I call blessed assurance, darlings.

A good washcloth should do you for removal of this amazing product, but PeaceBang recommends this yummy stuff for the winter months (available at Bath & Body Works for $7.50 — fun stocking-stuffer, non?), and she also recommends that you top the Revlon lippy with some gloss throughout the day (the gloss comes with the lip color), because it is drying.

A special shout-out to my Union Theological beauties, about whom I shall be writing in days to come when I am not quite so swamped with the work of ministry as I am right now. Stay tuned, UTS gang!

Like Your Mother Told You

Remember how your mom would say, “Honey, you’d feel better if you just combed your hair and put on a little lipstick?”

Well, I tried just that as an experiment last month while visiting my friend Tim and here are the results:
Summer 2008 023Summer 2008 024

No, I don’t have an evil twin. And don’t you think the second photo is a major improvement, even though I forgot my brush and hair dryer and had no way of keeping my hair from being a flat flop? Turn out that our Moms were right — a little lippy keeps you zippy.
Boys can get the same effect by combing their hair, washing their face and trimming any facial scragglies.

P.S. I find it interesting that the light was not altered in any way whatsoever between the Before and After photo, which were taken about one minute apart. They were both flash photos. So what gives? Did the flash reflect off the shiny lip gloss or something?

P.P.S. Now you know why I use eyebrow powder: one eyebrow grows much thicker than the other — that’s not a plucking error. I like the thicker brow so I fill in the other one to match.

Because You Never Know When You Might Be Asked To Exchange The Kiss of Peace

What’s that I see in the hand of the worshiping preacher in front of me at the Festival of Homiletics?
Trip to Minneapolis May 2008 039

Why, it’s none other than BURT’S BEES LIP BALM!! One of our favorite, minty lip softening products!!

Trip to Minneapolis May 2008 038

Remember, though, that Burt’s Bees does not provide SPF. We discussed this here. Read the comments, too, because we have since recommended more products that will protect your kisser from the harsh rays of El Sol.

SPF Products: Lips And Face

As a self-described lip gloss addict, I love, love, love my “lippy.” I own two or three MAC lip lacquers (the very best!), a small stash of Smashbox glosses (in the same color, now defunct, that I had to research and track down to buy so the tragedy of having that color unavailable would lose its sting over time), and a little army of Rimmel Vinyl Glosses, three of which live in my car. I probably eat pounds and pounds of lip gloss every year, an unappealing prospect but probably better for me than that Reese’s Pieces sundae SweetieBang and I both had last night while watching “The Orphanage” (a very creepy, good flick but watch closely or you’ll miss what actually happened to the little boy and think it was the ghosts who did it, as I did at first).

ANYHOO, as the sun waxes stronger in these here parts, a girl starts to think about SPF products for the lips (and fellas should, too, since your lips are tender little darlings and shouldn’t be left out there all alone to bake unprotected). Turns out that most SPF products are just dull, though; waxy Chapsticky things that don’t slide easily over lipstick or Covergirl Outlast All Day Lipcolor (PeaceBang’s daily product), which is what *I* certainly want them to do. I would think that even men seek a lip product with ease of application and a decent taste (not overly minty or medicinal or herbal or fruity).

(Incidentally, there’s a lip balm called, no kidding, Chicken Poop out there. I wanted to recommend it but it has no sun protection factor. Darn.)

I did find a tropical-flavored lip balm during my January trip to Florida that has good SPF coverage, but it makes my lips taste like a shirt Don Johnson would have worn in “Miami Vice,” so it’s a choice of last resort. I want something sophisticated with little or no flavoring, thank you very much. A cruise around my local CVS yielded nothing interesting (and did you know that Burt’s Bees lip products don’t even have SPF in them??? I just assumed that they did!). A girl can’t smear Carmex all over her mouth, for heaven’s sake: have you tasted that stuff?

So I did a little googling around online and discovered that the good people at Revlon have a Super Lustrous Lip Gloss that looks to have not only nice, glossy color coverage but SPF 15. Has anyone tried this stuff? It’s expensive, so I’d rather not purchase it without having some advance word on it. It may be that getting SPF coverage into a gloss form is a costly process, which is why so few companies are doing it.

If you’re looking for a subtle hint of color, or a clear lip balm with SPF coverage, Kiehl’s makes a very fine product that lasts and lasts, and that comes in a tube, which I love. This would be a great gift for the guy in your life. I mean, isn’t that packaging positively MANLY? Kiehl’s has its own web site and is also available at upscale department stores. This lip balm costs about $9 but again, it last for a long time even if you use it every day.
Kiehls Lip Balm

Oh, and this advance word to you, my doves: do not ever rely on make-up to provide full sun coverage for your face. If you really want to protect yourself from all the ravages of the sun (and you should), it is wisest to apply your sunblock of choice before any make-up. After much searching and many flare-ups of red blotching on my face (curses on you, Neutrogena tinted sun block! Because I love your other products so much!), I am sticking this year with Alba Botanica Facial Sunscreen for Sensitive Skin.
Alba Facial Sunscreen SPF 20

I was using a Juice Beauty Organics product but it smells kind of yucky and I had a devil of a time getting the product out through the pump dispenser. I like that it’s entirely non-chemical and mineral based, but they’d do better to put it in a tube so a girl or guy can actually get the stuff out of the ever-lovin’ container.

When applying sunscreen, don’t forget to get your chest, your neck, the back of your neck, the edges of your face at the hairline (wherever that hairline may be), and your ears. Let’s not be worrying our dermatologists and requiring snippings of suspicious moles and bumps this year. Be safe out there and for heaven’s sake wear a hat when we’ll be in the sun for any prolonged period of time. And just this once, I’ll give you a pass: it doesn’t even have to be particularly fashionable or attractive, it just needs to keep your skin and scalp protected. Extra bonus for those who color our hair: wearing hats is a big deterrent to fading. So go get you one! They’re always on sale at TJ Maxx or Marshall’s and places like that.