You know, we have talked about the importance of all of us checking our teeth after eating to make sure that stray chives aren’t working their way into our supportive pastoral smiles, but here’s one I hadn’t thought of that Devoted Pigeon, The Rev. Dr. Wil Gafney, posted on Facebook today:
When eating a sesame seed bagel before presenting, check after each bite for seeds stuck to your long wear lipstick like PeaceBang taught you.
Yes! Indeedy, yes! Surreptitiously, though, when we’re with the community to whom we are presenting. I feel like I do this most coffee hours. By the time I finally make it into the fellowship hall, I am experiencing the post-service blood sugar drop and mental fogginess that only a bit of protein and carbs can fix (“God, give me the strength not to reach for the sugary coffee cake!” is my prayer). We often have seeded bagels and I grab a quarter of one, dab on a “schmear,” and get the first bite into my face when someone engages me in conversation. This launches the Ministerial Coffee Hour Challenge:
“Smize” (smile with my eyes) to indicate attentiveness while busy chewing. Don’t smize too much or risk looking wild-eyed and deranged.
Maintain eye contact while chewing — try to remember not to actually smile and show poppy seed or cream cheese teeth.
Try to time verbal response between bites while still not recovered from post-service and post-post service blood sugar drop and spiritual blitzedness.
Use napkin to both hold the bagel segment and delicately dab at lips.
Make mental note to make actual note of what people say so I can remember it, while accepting that I won’t remember it.
Ask everyone to please remind me of whatever ew were discussing via e-mail because I won’t remember it.
Head to coffee table and hope there’s still some caffeinated java left.