Advent Reflections On Faithfulness And Style

Hello, darlings!

The New York Jewish side of me wants to crack dark jokes right now, because that’s how I was raised and it feels far more life-giving, faithful, and honest to say things like “I’ll be over here watching make-up tutorials on YouTube until this whole terrorist and guns things blows over” than to offer up earnest meditations on peace and hope and Baby Jesus.

This may be generational as well, as my generation was raised on Bugs Bunny’s flair for serving sarcasm as a way to get out of tough situations intact, and on the Muppets’ goofy brand of innocence and madness as a coping and learning mechanism.

Also Mr. Rogers, who, whatever was happening in the world, always started his time with us by changing into a comfortable sweater and sneakers, signaling that it was time to hang out with him and those slightly creepy puppets. I LOVED the Mr. dearly and had one of the only real temper tantrums I can remember having (my parents were strict and didn’t put up with s*** like that) when deprived of his company after being sick with the flu all day. Mom wanted me back in bed and I wanted. MISTER. ROGERS.
I’m fairly sure that “wait until your father gets home” put an end to my stomping and crying. I clearly remember that I had just eaten a bowl of chicken noodle o’s soup.

So this isn’t a post about personal sartorial style but a post on personal emotional style, something about which we clergy folk also need to be self-aware and wise. We must be aware of our own default settings when the world swirls in chaos and rage around us.

Have you by any chance noticed a lot of acting out in the parish or work setting lately?

We’re stretched. People are stretched thin to the breaking point.

So you, dear colleague, do what it takes to keep flexible and stretchy, warmed up and bendy and bouncy.

I am rubber, thou art glue,
whatever thou sayest,
bounceth off of me and sticketh to you, saith the LORD.
Those who do follow me, let them also be as rubber and no evil
or trouble shall stick to them, but I say to you, tell not your
enemy that he is like glue, but also as rubber
so that cruel thoughts or utterances not either stick onto him.

And then Jesus left that place and went to Capernaum, where he did eat thereof of latkes..

Do what you need to do.
Take extra laps in the pool.
Have fun cocktails with friends on Sunday nights.
Cuss as much as you like when no one is around. Swearing is entirely appropriate to our times and releases stress. This is a scientifically proven fact, as is the truth that cussing is not an expression of ignorance but of emphasis.

Say “no” to things that feel like an extra burden, and especially events that will put you in the same company of people who can’t refrain from starting a pro-arming-the-citizenry conversation.

Turn off the TV.

Learn more about Islam and reach out to Muslim neighbors and make them into friends.
Tell stupid people to shut up. Say it as nicely as you can, but say it.

Don’t smother your feelings and thoughts in terminal earnestness and drown everyone around you in a sea of sugar. No one needs more sugar in this season for multiple reasons.

Likewise avoid cliches. If you don’t have anything original to say in your own voice, silence will suffice.

Reflect on the emptiness of “thoughts and prayers” with no attendant commitment to action.

Show up fierce, brave, loving, strong and put together. Make sure it’s not an act. Do what you need to do to assure that it is not an act, is what I’m saying.

Shine your shoes.