OH MY HEAVENS.
PeaceBang needs her own advice! WHAT in the world is she going to pack for a destination wedding that involves a luncheon, a rehearsal, a rehearsal dinner and party FOLLOWING the rehearsal dinner (to which she will be too tired to go, and leave the reveling to the youngsters)?
This is one of those times when PeaceBang has to remind herself that her role is of cherished family minister and Officiant and that she is not obligated to run out and obtain a whole trunkload of fancy duds to wear at the various functions all weekend. It is her job to be charming, professional and to make sure every detail of the actual wedding is as perfect as can be. She is the clergy and need not be as swanky as the guests. In fact, it would be in poor taste were she to be too swanky. Not that there’s any danger of that, as PeaceBang does not own any swanky clothes. Well, there is that one beaded top she wore to her cousin’s wedding fifteen years ago, but she doubts it even fits any more.
I will wear a pair of black pants and a light robin-egg blue blazer to the luncheon, rehearsal and dinner. I’ve had the blazer for twelve years and it’s mighty faded by now but it’ll do. If it simply won’t do and needs to be retired, I’ll wear a black suit (the blazer is cotton eyelet for summer) with strappy sandals (and I have silver, freshly pedicured toenails) and big, blingy earrings. I’ll do a formal make-up job (YET AGAIN, pigeons, make-up and hair communicates just as much as clothing does — I am so tired of seeing fried or scraggly hair and splotchy, greasy faces paired with a nice dress. Why bother? Just go in your bathrobe! Throwing on a nice outfit is NOT all it takes to get ready for a formal occasion! But I digress…) with glammy eye shadow and stuff.
As for the wedding day, the guests will be dressed to the nines and I simply won’t be. I don’t have the clothes, I don’t have the bucks to buy the beautiful top I saw at Nordstrom,* and I’ll be dressed to the seven-and-a-halfs, maybe. The key is to not kid myself or try to style one of my cute cotton cocktail dresses to suit the occasion. If I was going to the wedding of friend, I’d do that. I’m a quirky dresser on my own time and I’d get out one of my crazy pairs of Fluevogs and put together something fun and Bohemian or else black and theatrically dramatic.
But I’m the minister here, and after I take off that robe and join the party I want to be able to fade somewhat into the woodwork. It’s not my party. It would be weird and inappropriate for me to go from Rev. Dr. Officiant to a WOWZA LET’S PARTAY style outfit. I don’t want to dress so plainly that I’ll be mistaken for the catering staff (and by the way, someone recently wrote in with a question about how to pull a photographer or caterer aside to tell them they look like total slobs at a wedding – who was it? What was the question,exactly? Remind me) but I don’t need to be mistaken for a BFF of the bride and groom, either.
I am not counseling that you ever be frumpy, darlings, but in this case I am suggesting that you have in your closet a beautifully tailored and dressy but SIMPLE, CLASSIC formal suit or dress that is modest, lovely, very, very comfortable so you can be very poised and elegant in it while greeting people and answering tons of questions about yourself and your work. This isn’t the time for plunging necklines or huge undignified hair doo-dads or wacky ties or unbuttoned shirts (guys). It is the time for structured, classic clothing of the sort that you purchase once and keep and wear for the next thousand years until it wears out, at which point you buy another.
This is your go-to formal wedding outfit. When you put it on, you may not stand out as a snazzy guest but you will also not communicate that now that you’re done with your work, you’re Rev. Goodbar, lookin’ for a good time, hey, ya know what I mean?
AND NO FLIRTING WITH BRIDESMAIDS AND GROOMSMEN. If you must (and I always do, of course), keep it low-key, fun and nice. And don’t you DARE be tacky enough to hook up with any of the guests. Give them your business card and set up a date for later like a mature human being.
Also: two drinks, max.
And no flip flops or flat casual sandals or PeaceBang will find you and give you an immediate OTK spanking.
* 
I do like that coral jacket!
Don’t you all have discount stores up there in the Nawth like TJMaxx, Steinmart and such? That’s what I do when I need something snazzy for not much money. I definitely think you need some color. PB should not be wearing anything that is old and faded. No, no, no she should not.