One thing that I wish we could all get out of the habit of doing: referring to a worship service or an entire congregation as “Rev. Joe’s service” or “Rev. Joe Schmoe’s church.”
I just read a communication from a pastor that said, “We’ll be joined on Sunday morning by Joe Schmoe’s United Piscatarian Church” as opposed to, “Members of the United Piscatarian Church of East Overshoe will be joining us for worship on the morning of January 29th.”
As we work toward a 21st century Church and jettison the inauthentic, repressive and elitist elements of 19th century clergy personae, I hope we’ll work to dismantle the paternalistic habit of conflating congregational identity with the current pastor.
When people say to me, “I’m so sorry I haven’t been to one of your services in so long,” I remind them that it’s not my service, it’s theirs. Similarly, “I’m so sorry I haven’t been to one of your sermons.” We don’t attend sermons. We gather as God’s people to worship in spirit and in truth. Cranky, cranky, I know. But I don’t mean it crankily. I mean it quite sincerely. I recognize the sort of “star of the show” factor of minister-led Sunday morning worship but I think we must guard against habits of the mind that equate “church” with “minister.” On one hand, it allows for church to become a kind of celebrity cult. On the other hand, it means that those who don’t personally like the minister feel they can’t attend worship in principle. Neither of those options is spiritually healthy for individuals or congregations.
Language matters, as it shapes our realities and articulates our values. Ministers who constantly make reference to “my church” and “my staff” worry me. It’s not your church, and it’s not your staff. It’s the church or our church, and the phrase “my staff” should never be used in written documents. While it’s entirely fine to speak of “my staff and I” in informal conversation, especially with other clergy with whom we are discussing our ministries, it is never acceptable to use possessive language in formal reports. The only time one can accurately refer to a member of one’s staff as “my” is when a Senior Minister has hired an Assistant Minister, and it is clearly understood in the terms of the contract that that person’s job is, in fact, to assist that minister.
Okay? Now, back to Sunday preparation!! Kisses!
I’ll agree with you that “my staff” is a little out of order, but I’ll continue to call the church I serve as pastor “my church” and hope other people refer to it as their church as well.
I don’t mean I own my country, family, city, or school when I say “my country,” “my family,” etc. Just like saying “my family” means the family of which I’m a part of so “my church” means the church of which I’m a part of.
[Right, I know what you’re saying and that’s perfectly fine. But you know what I mean? It’s when people say, “Oh, we’re going to Shawn’s church” or “We’re going to see one of Shawn’s services” that’s a problem, or when pastors say, “Yes, my church will be at such-and-such,” as though it’s their personal church. It’s all in the context. – PB]
Thank you thank you – this makes me crazy — it it the church we serve as clergy not “our” church or “our” people or “my” people —
But there are a lot of instances, especially on the more evangelical, “non-denominational”, conservative side of Protestantism, where there is almost a cult of personality and the pastor really is the functional leader and patriarch of the church. The congregation doesn’t call him (it’s always him) and he doesn’t serve them at its pleasure; rather, he is the one who gathers and directs them. Think of the likes of Jerry Falwell, Ted Haggard, Mark Driscoll. But it’s not necessarily only among conservative Protestants where this can happen. When our own Unitarian churches still genuinely practiced congregational autonomy and were not as infected by a creeping need for a distinctive, collective denominational identity as we are today, Theodore Parker’s church was exactly the same sort of enterprise.
That’s not to say you’re wrong to disapprove of that pastoral-authority model or hold up grassroots lay authority as a superior model. However, the vocabulary of which you also disapprove often describes the church it refers to correctly, not incorrectly. [Oh, I know! It’s not Jesus’ church, or God’s church. That was intentional. – PB]
This is a great point, and not something I’d ever really thought of. I agree with other commenters that the “Rev. Joe Schmoe’s church” formulation is the most offensive on the list. I’ll watch myself for this in the future.
I wonder if this is regional, because I NEVER hear that kind of reference here.
I was chatting with a young woman in my Zumba class, and said that I thought I’d seen her at my (sheesh) church. She looked alarmed – “No I go to Apostolic Church of God, Pastor Joe Smith”. Only it came out: “apostolicchurchofgodpastorjoesmith”. At least God came before him on the bill. (She was taking ballet lessons at the church I serve, and that’s why I saw her there.)
Because inappropriate humor is kind of a way of life with me, I’d like to repeat a joke told to me by a former rector at the church I attend:
A very nervous housekeeper was hired by a Roman Catholic priest to keep the rectory clean and tidy.
On her first morning of work, the priest was in his study when he heard a loud scream from the laundry room. “Oh, Father,” said the housekeeper, “I’m so sorry but I put too much soap in your washing machine and now the suds are out of control.”
“Calm down,” said the priest. “Whatever happens, we can deal with it. Besides, it’s not my washer – it belongs to the parish. You might as well call it ‘our’ washer.”
The second day, the priest was in the garden when he heard another loud scream from the house. “Oh, Father,” said the housekeeper, “It looks as if your vacuum cleaner has stopped working.”
“Don’t worry,” said the priest. “It’s probably the filter that needs changing. Besides, don’t forget that it’s not my vacuum – it’s our vacuum.”
The next day, the priest was counseling some parishioners when they heard a loud scream from upstairs. “Oh, Father,” exclaimed the housekeeper, “there’s a mouse under our bed!”
LOL Mary!
In the same vein, PB, or our language describing who the church really is, I recently saw a sign that said “st James Methodist church” then in smaller letters underneath “meets here.” I loved it!
Mary Cauliflower, you are my long-lost sister.
Your (still giggling) PaganBuddy
This makes me think of a pet peeve of mine, the twisted worship tally.
“We worship 90 on a Sunday.”
Really? You “worship” 90 people on a Sunday? I thought we were supposed to worship God…
Preach it. On the same line as pastors who talk about “My people” when referring to the congregation they serve. And along the lines of Dancing’s comment, we Baptists used to refer to the building where we worshipped as “the Meeting House.” it was the place where the church met, not the church itself! Alas, most of us have lost taht concept or don’t even know enough of our own history to know that.
Indeed, it is God’s church. It is amazing and beyond all understanding how she puts up with us.
Correction “…how she puts up with our behavior.”
I want one of those signs.
You can make one, Wil!
Oh Chase, I do confess. I am much more careful about my language: “worship 90” sounds like “seats 6”, or “feeds 20”, ew and ew. But I do look at the count, and am jubilant when it’s high and sad when it’s low. Busted.
I like Baptist Meeting House. I shall adopt it forthwith.
In our town, protestant churches tend to get referred to by street name, but it can get confusing, as sometimes a church moves building, but is still described by previous location. So we say the church in such-and-such street, but it hasn’t actually met in that building for 10 years.
There are 2 local churches that were founded by people with strong personalities, and they tend to get referred to as XXX’s church. Both also have this strange hereditary model you get in some quarters, so XXX is the son of the original XXX. Seriously weird in my view.
Would you post the directions for making our own church [signs] in our own images?
I’m on both sides of this one. I’m not a pastor, but I am on staff…and when I call it “my congregation”, I mean “the congregation of which I am a member”, like my neighborhood or my graduating class.
However, ‘my’ church has a founding pastor who is well known in a very small corner of religious life, as an author and conference speaker. (or a dirty heretic, depending of who’s opining.) So people I meet in that context often say “Oh! You’re at BRIAN’s church!” And I always laugh and correct them, saying, well, it’s God’s church, and Brian did work there.
Sorry so late to the party.