Some day when historians study our civilization they will marvel at the thousands of mascara products we had. “These are people who worshiped eyelashes,” they will say, and they will think that we prayed to a god named Max Factor.
Well listen, dolls. PeaceBang is just as obsessed with the next girl with long lashes and so periodically purchases one of the super magical promise-making mascaras from the drugstore (she finds Duane Reade in New York City so much fun at about midnight, after the theatre, stalking the cosmetics and skin care aisles happily absorbed in reading labels and squirting samples onto her hand … some people like to go to bars, PeaceBang likes to repair to the Duane Reade). On a recent trip, she purchased Rimmel Waterproof Sexy Curves mascara for like six bucks. It stinks. It has a stupid little brush and I hate it. I’ll probably use it for doing my lower lashes (waterproof so I don’t get raccoon eyes).
Second in the Waste of Money was the even more enticingly-named Maybelline XXL PRO CURL (Waterproof). This thing is so fancy it has a base coat that put on before the actual mascara. Two steps! Fun! Except, not. Just a waste of time swabbing your lashes with the gunky base that doesn’t do a thing, and then using the other “coat” to blacken the supposedly lengthened lashes. Which aren’t lengthened. This is a pain in the dupa and not worth your hard-earned ($2) dollars. Cheap is as cheap does.
In short, my lashy legions, stick with PeaceBang’s tried-and-true fabulous Cover Girl products, either Volume Exact or Professional Washable mascaras. They’re both terrific. And if you want absolutely huge Bambi eyes just do a few strategically placed false lashes at the outside corners of your eyes. Get your local friendly drag queen to show you how. It’s a snap, darling, and there’s no harm in feeling glammy once in awhile.
P.S. I find that the fancy-schmancy mascaras sold at the cosmetics counters do nothing but give me a big sore eyelid, so I skip with the inexpensive brands. I don’t recommend fancy mascaras: they’re never worth the extra dough.
I’m totally going to the Duane Reade!
Oh my heavens, if I’m going to be promoting NYC beauty emporiums I must mention Sephora, the true Temple of The Gods of Beauty. Here I am with the girls from the Times Square Sephora. The horror of it is that there are now TWO huge Sephoras right in Times Square and I don’t know which one I was in. But I promised the girls a month ago that I’d post this and I never did. Mea culpa!
Ah yes, the god Max Factor. One of the saddest days of my life was when Max Factor’s 2000 Calorie mascara was no longer available.
However, I’ve recently discovered a new, inexpensive mascara that is great – Almay’s Get Up and Grow. The wand is a bristle brush, which I love (I can’t STAND those rubbery wands that so many mascaras have now) and it does not clump at all, even after 3 coats. It lenghthens and thickens beautifully.
And I totally agree about the expensive mascaras – don’t waste your money – I’ve recently tried Benefit’s Bad Gal Lash and DiorShow, and neither was worth what I paid.
Hi. My name is Wil. I’m a mascara addict. I probably shouldn’t be at this meeting since I don’t want to go to rehab. My current drugs of choice are: L’oreal Lash Serum for conditioning while I sleep, Lancôme CILS for conditioning base under my mascara, Bobbi Brown Party Mascara for bottom and top coat, Maybelline Falsies (my current cheap drugstore volumizer, subject to change) between coats of BB, and Dior Show (between cheap volumizer and final coat of BB) for glam. [Oh my God, you are SO an addict and I SO love it! Let your freak flag fly, Lashes Mahoney! – PB]
I’ve recently discovered Almay as well, which I’m loving. One of my main requirements was that they don’t test on animals. Yup… a surprising and quick way to narrow down choices 🙁
No comment on mascaras, just wanted to show my appreciation of your use of the word “dupa.” It’s one of the few non-food words I know in Polish! [High five me, baby! My grandparents were Slovak and my Baba used it. – PB]
Covergirl’s Lash Blast became my replacement for 2000 calories, but today I tried Lash Blast Fusion and it is is FABULOUS.
Mascara is my #1 can’t live without cosmetic.
Tried to buy that sunblock you recommended, PB, but my browser (Safari) keeps telling me that the website that sells it is not reputable and may steal my credit card, my identity, my sanity, etc., etc. Where do you buy it? [REALLY? Holy cow! Well, I got it at a salon/spa where I got a facial. Maybe Sephora.com? – PB]