This is so lovely and I support it completely.
I remember in Divinity School we were discussing pastoral boundaries in an ethics class. A classmate of mine shared his sense of irritation that parishioners had phoned him over the weekend to help them cope with the death of their dog. This seminarian rolled his eyes and proudly shared with the class how he had told them in no uncertain terms that they were out of line for bothering him about such a thing.
I thought this guy was really cool, so this shocked me. I thought, “Is there something wrong with me that I consider the death of an animal almost equivalent to a death of anyone else in the family?” I thought about it for a moment and then realized, “No. There’s something wrong with him, not me.”
A lively discussion ensued.
That was 15 years ago and I haven’t changed my opinion. I have been present for euthanizing of family pets. I have done rituals of blessing for dogs, I have made many condolence calls to express sympathy for the loss of animal companions and I have done Blessing of the Animals services at our church, which were attended by humans and their dogs, cats, horses, rabbits, gerbils, and assorted other critters.
I wish the Danvers, MA congregation of Cavalry Episcopal Church and Rev. Thea Keith-Lucas every blessing with this ministry, with my thanks for the statement they are daring to make on behalf of the intimate and important spiritual bond between humans and animals.
I hope Max and I will make it there at some point.
Thea Keith-Lucas was my fellow parishioner at the Episcopal Church of St Luke & St Margaret in Allston before she started her ordination process in fact as I recall she was married there. I was so pleased to find this article in this Sunday’s Boston Globe. I think there is a need for what she is doing and it shouldn’t be criticized several years ago when we had to have the cat euthanized after I got home from the vet we took out the Book of Common Prayer and said prayers for her.
“Fur and feathers and scales and skin,
Different without but the same within.
Many of body but one in soul,
Through all creatures are the Gods made whole.”
Francis of Assisi would have said prayers for the cat too– wasn’t she part of Creation?
Even the FBI profilers will tell you that cruelty to animals is a dangerous sign; it’s such a small step to be cruel to humans as well.
An older pastor-friend recently told me that the best pastoral care practice he had was to write a note to a family (children, adults, no difference!) when he heard that they had lost a pet. I intend on doing the same in my ministry, and I’m so grateful that others care about the animal/human connection too!
When I was in high school a seven year old boy at our church asked the interim minster to pray because his dog had died. The minister laughed at him. It was such a horrible moment. The minster did apologize later in front of the church, but it was just one of many signs that the man was not fit for ministry.
What a beautiful ministry! My pets (2 kitties and one dog) are such an important part of my life and my faith as well. I know every day that they show me – in very true and honest ways – God’s love.
This post reminded me of that song…
“All God’s creatures got a place in the choir
Some sing low, some sing higher,
Some sing out loud on the telephone wire,
And some just clap their hands, their paws,
or anything they got now”
Off I go to give my furry companions a hug 🙂
I have a colleague in VA who has such a ministry in his church and when I was at St. Gregory of Nyssa in San Francisco, they allowed pets at normal services. When offered a position recently, my first question was whether my dogs could come to the office: yes!
Several years ago our interim minister, Arline Sutherland, presided at a little memorial service we had for our beloved dog Jake. I was afraid she would think I was stupid for even asking her to do such a thing, but she cried right along with me when I described how his death had devastated our family. Three years later, the memory of her kindness and support still brings tears to my eyes. Thank God there are ministers out there who understand this kind of loss. [I’m not at all surprised. What a lovely testament to Arline’s ministry.- PB]
I can’t help thinking that this intense focus on pets has only happened as the birthrate has dropped among educated women in first-world countries, and fewer middle-class people have children and grandchildren to fuss over.
To me a church which pays so much attention to animals is forgetting that its first duty is to humans. God forbid anyone should brush off or laugh at someone who’s grieving a pet- they really are members of the family- but I think a special service for animal owners every single month is too much.
There are many groups of humans who aren’t well served (when unaided) by traditional Episcopal church services; for example, deaf people, people with low literacy levels or the mentally handicapped. If special services are being set up for someone, I think it’s more important to concentrate on reaching those underserved groups than on pet owners.
[Your comment makes me wonder how this ministry got started. I think specialized ministries like this are organic — they arise out of local need and a church’s response to what’s going on around them. So while I understand your point, I think that there is something commendable and worthy and holy about a congregation starting a ministry that arises from within the community. When I teach workshops on nurturing a ministry of activism the first thing I say is that justice work comes out of the passions of the people in the congregation at that time. It can’t be manufactured or dictated by external forces or it will not succeed. This ministry to animal people seems to follow that dictum: I imagine it arose out of local spiritual need and desire and that’s why it is full of energy and success. To say, “Well, you should be caring about more urgent needs” may be logical, but that’s not how effective ministries work, in my experience. -PB]
I don’t think my cat is a person (I’ve got three “real” children ages 26, 24 & 21) my childless friends are more likely to see pets as people.
When my cat I had before was euthanized, we read from the prayer book together. When my ex mother in law died & my ex’s family had no service for her, I went down to the rectory and the priest said the prayers with me & my children. The kids told her that the cat had died, I think Thea’s pet service is a great idea but I would never had asked the priest to pray with us over the cat.
BU School of Theology offers a course–Spring semester I think–called Animals and Healing. I took it as an auditor and learned so much about minsitry with people and pets. And service animals. And liturgies for times of loss. I’d highly recommend it. Pastors can take courses for no credit for about $150. [Oh, great! I would love to take this! – PB]
As people came up for communion yesterday, I reached out to bless a four-year-old girl who doesn’t yet receive communion. Before I could bless her, she held up her plastic toy dog, so I could bless him, too. I was delighted to do it!
You may be interested in the work of Laura Hobgood-Oster, especially: The Friends We Keep: Unleashing Christianity’s Compassion for Animals
http://www.amazon.com/Friends-Keep-Unleashing-Christianitys-Compassion/dp/1602582645/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1306809023&sr=8-1
Laura is a professor of religion and environmental studies at Southwestern University. More than anyone I know, she lives what she teaches and preaches. Her spare time is spent playing a strong leadership role in her local (Georgetown, Texas) animal shelter, volunteering in every way possible, especially in the areas of placement and education. She has found homes for hundreds of stray animals. Our dog, Jazz, is a Hurricane Katrina survivor, placed with us through the Georgetown Animal Shelter.
No, we don’t have children, and we do treat our animals more like family members than pets.
That said, it doesn’t matter that Jazz is a different species — she is an ever-present joy and an instrument of grace in our lives and we give thanks every day for Laura’s work.
I didn’t even tell my minister that my cats had died last year. 🙁 I thought he wouldn’t understand. Now I think he would, but really, it’s hard to find out what some priests really do think.
I rather think my friend’s father who is a minister would give a blessing to pet animals and pray with someone whose heart was heavy with sorrow after losing a pet.
I love our dog. I’ve done a lot of pet funerals and graveside services. I’ve sent condolence cards for people who have lost pets. This is a all good and commendable pastoral work and anyone who is snotty about its’ necessity should perhaps reconsider parish ministry.
But, please let’s not equate pet death (and life) to human death (and life). Praying for fluffy beside someones’s grandmother or spouse or child who has died is just not, not OK. Nor is spending tons of energy on pet ministry in a community with hungry children or people sitting in nursing homes going unvisited. There is a line here. . . . [In an ideal world… but as you know, ministry is not usually “either/or,” as in “if this congregation didn’t do so much of this, they would go and do that (“that” being something that you or I might identify as worthier thing). God works in mysterious ways and congregations have diverse ministries for this reason. I don’t hear anyone equating animal and human life here (although I know some people have radical hearts that way – I don’t hear that as an aspect of this ministry at all, or an argument being put forth by those of us who are psyched about it). – PB]
Hi Madgebaby, have you considered that it’s not ‘pet ministry’ it’s ‘people ministry’?
Surely we should respond to grief as it’s felt by the griever, not by some preditermined ‘you will be this upset by the death of a husband, this upset by the death of a cousin, this upset by the loss of a job, this upset by the death of a pet’ etc?
Personally, I felt a lot more grief selling my horse than over my grandfather’s death. My horse was a daily and precious part of my life. The grandfather and I weren’t very close.
I think the key is to meet people where they are and serve them as it would be helpful for them.
Personally, I wouldn’t feel the need for our minister to do anything official about our beloved cat’s death, but I would like recognition that I will be grieving when it happens.
Of course, Elanorjane–loss, to some extent, is loss, as I indicated
I’m also aware of congregations that take this a step (or many) beyond this as”people ministry”. The line between ministering to and idolizing the felt needs/preoccupations/attachments of congregants is a fine one indeed. I’ve learned the hard way that being the church that caters to a fringe group often does so at the expense of the larger, shared mission. And a church built around the love of pets? At some point the core ceases to hold. [There’s so much judgment and projection going on here that I can’t imagine where to begin. Perhaps with the question, “Who are you to dictate what sort of love any church should be built around?” And “Do you realize how obnoxious and judgmental it sounds when you assume that love for animals is some sort of neurotic, inferior kind of love?” Wow, Madge, I know you to be a much more compassionate and mature minister than this. I would keep a very wide berth around a pastor who made this sort of value judgment on the love between people and pet. Language like “felt need” and “preoccupation” makes it clear that you have issues accepting the legitimacy of some people’s lived experience of sustaining love. I find that very sad and actually shocking. I’m sorry that a “fringe group” wounded you and led to this hardness of heart but I would strongly advise healing that anger and not projecting it onto any other group of humans, including those who appreciate the opportunity to bring their four-legged loved ones to church. – PB]
When our church holds it’s annual St. Francis Day Pet blessing it is clear to me that we are asking for God’s blessing not only on our pets, but also on us as stewards of God’s creation. I am always mindful that Francis followed the call of Christ by living with and ministering to the poor, which in his time included compassion to the other “lesser creatures.” Now animals are not treated as such, but we are still called to care for them, and to give thanks for the care they give to us.
I have also found in this small act of hospitality once a year in celebrating the joy our pets bring us and acknowledging our sorrow at their passing that I am able to minister to those grieving pet owners who are laughed at (or worse chastised) by their own ministers, families, and friends for crying over their dead pet. The pain, sorrow, and loneliness of grief is real regardless of what causes it. The person who is living in grief deserves to be treated with dignity and respect, so if that means talking to God about Spot and Whiskers in a prayer together, so be it!
I pray that this ministry and others like it to people with pets, as well as any other “specialized” ministry, will not be self-indulgent. Rather, may ministries like this reveal to us another facet of the Creator and our call to participate in Creation to the glory of God and all Her/His creatures.
2 dogs adopted from friends who moved somewhere they couldn’t keep them, who rescued both from the streets when they were pups.
Zero children, by choice.
Just piping up here to say that though we love the dogs, we don’t mistake them for children. Children can’t sleep in the garage (with a large bowl of water), for one thing. I also hear that children like to eat more often than twice a day. Any treatment considered for health problems of the dogs is in the context of the fact that they are not human, and still I know that they are getting better health care than a lot of people do. 🙁
[Hey Michelle, I hear you. But haughtily analyzing child-free people as being inherently neurotic about our pets is just one of the many ways that people with children belittle and insult child-free folks in a socially acceptable way. You know, we don’t want kids, so we have this unnatural attachment to our dogs because we’re obviously emotionally stunted or whatever. I just ignore it. – PB]
I honestly think the projection here is going in the opposite direction, with all respect.
Simply put we in the church should prioritize people over animals, and no church I’ve ever served had infinite time, energy, resources, etc. The love of children has nothing to do with the love of pets, and conflating pet ownership with parenthood is truly something I can’t understand
For me the distinction is this: we minister to people who love animals, of course. We love pets too and I get that our love of our pets helps us grow in the image and likeness of God.
THIS is the love that the church is built around.
Of course they love us back, and of course treating them well is important. But it isn’t the same as the commission we are given to tend to children, to the sick, to the prisoner. To people. My objection isn’t to the love, it is to the object of the love. All love is edifying,so of course we expect compassion and care for people when they lose a pet.
I’m reminded of a father I know whose child had a condition that had required surgery since birth. He was beginning to come to terms with the fact that his son would probably not live much longer. He is a big believer in prayer and had a good support in a faith community, but I’m imagining if he didn’t and made contact with a new faith community and attended and after a few weeks realized his child was listed alongside pets on the prayer list (I’ve seen this) or that the big focus of ministry of the church was pets, he would be at least confused. Were I in his situation I’d be pissed as hell, frankly.
People are made in the image of God. Pets are a part of the very good creation, but we don’t baptize them, we don’t marry them, we don’t ordain them, and we don’t bury them out of the church. It is not an insult to them or to those who love them, it is respect for their true nature. We don’t let them sit at the table to eat either. There is a line, and it isn’t judgemental or disrespectful to respect that line.
The thing that is great about our dog is his inherit dogness, his canine nature that is different from human nature. When he gets treated like a human he behaves badly, but when we treat him like the good dog he is he thrives. When our other dog died last year we cried and cried, and we ourselves needed pastoral care and got it, but he did not. Never for one moment did his soul need the ministration of the church, because he was pure goodness in the way that we humans never are.
This conversation has nothing to do with insulting the “child free”, nor does it have to do with considering an attachment to pets neurotic. It is about how ministers attend to the ministry of the church.
It is interesting that you typify this perspective as “haughty”, “obnoxious”, “judgemental”, and the opposite of “mature”. Those are strong words that I think bely a blind spot here.